He had never questioned his vows until that kiss with Liam, and that shook him to his core.
Honestly, he'd never missed sex-- not really and perhaps that was because he had not felt that spark; he'd felt arousal but that had been such a generalized thing and not attached to a singular person. It was something that woke him up in the morning, hard and demanding. But looking into Liam's eyes, he became increasingly aware of how easy it would be to fall.
That terrified him.
And thus, he would do the retreating for the two of them. It was time that he was strong, he shut the basket and then looked at his watch-- nervously and then he got up from the bench. "I should probably head back, I have to be back at the dorms.."
He did not, but it was easy to say that, because if he stayed here he would not be sure of what could happen-- he was attracted and that was clear, but he was also fighting that attracting tooth and nail. He needed to refortify himself because he felt he could not do anything for Liam with this miasma of sinning thoughts going through his mind, all of them forsaking every vow he'd pledged to the church.
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Honestly, he'd never missed sex-- not really and perhaps that was because he had not felt that spark; he'd felt arousal but that had been such a generalized thing and not attached to a singular person. It was something that woke him up in the morning, hard and demanding. But looking into Liam's eyes, he became increasingly aware of how easy it would be to fall.
That terrified him.
And thus, he would do the retreating for the two of them. It was time that he was strong, he shut the basket and then looked at his watch-- nervously and then he got up from the bench. "I should probably head back, I have to be back at the dorms.."
He did not, but it was easy to say that, because if he stayed here he would not be sure of what could happen-- he was attracted and that was clear, but he was also fighting that attracting tooth and nail. He needed to refortify himself because he felt he could not do anything for Liam with this miasma of sinning thoughts going through his mind, all of them forsaking every vow he'd pledged to the church.