gremlinhaus | Saintsmourn

Saintsmourn

"Bless me father, for I have sinned," the words tumbled past his lips, ingrained in the well worn pathways of his memory from the years he'd spent in catechism and as an altar boy. Not that Liam was devout anymore -- how could he be, given what he'd become, given what he did and continued to do. The confessional booth was small and dark, light filtering in only dimly through the door and its screen that kept him hidden from the sanctuary beyond and from the priest he assumed would be on the other side.

"It has been... a very long time since my last confession."

What was he doing here? This was ridiculous. He couldn't possibly expect forgiveness and absolution. There had to be true repentance for that, real contrition, and Liam knew he couldn't manage either. He hated what he did, despised every moment of it, but he wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop. The price for disobeying was far too severe, and he would not be the one to pay it. The price for his disobedience and his failure would be paid by his brother, and he couldn't live with that.

So William had made his choice, made it again and again, putting that one life ahead of so many others. And oh he was good at what he did, talented at ruining people, in shattering whatever it was in a human being that kept their souls in place, until they were ready to throw it away. His watcher commended him for it, in a sick and sadistic sort of amusement.

Today's lost soul had been... fuck. It had been hard. She was young, barely nineteen, and her road had already been a hard one. He'd played the game with her for the past few weeks, insinuating darkness and doubt into the cracks of that already-battered soul. Today. Today she'd shattered, and there would be no recovering from it. Another soul for the demon who owned him.

He could feel the panic rising up in his chest, cold and hard and threatening to freeze his lungs so he couldn't draw in enough breath. In the dimness and silence of the confessional, all the carefully constructed walls and facades trembled and fell away. Gone were the easy smiles and quite literal devil-may-care attitude, all the charisma and charm that he relied on in his cursed excuse for a job. It was him and his breathing and the silence and the faceless priest in the chamber beside him. Liam wondered if he could hear the panic in his breathing.

"I... sorry. This was a mistake. I should go. I'm sorry, Father, for wasting your time."

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Sex had never felt like this. Nothing had ever felt like this. Liam was so swept up he couldn't sort out where Riley ended and he began either, and he didn't want to. Maybe they'd never truly disentangle themselves after this night; maybe their souls would be tied into knots that could not be untied.

Each movement, reach roll of those hips that buried Riley deep inside him over and over, each matching stroke of that hand at his own arousal, it built something irresistible and heated in him, pleasure rising and rising until he knew it would overflow and there was nothing he could do about it.

And still, even as he heard the other man moan against his neck, even as he knew that Riley was chasing his own pleasure too, the other man touched him so tenderly, like some worthwhile thing, some precious thing. Oh falling in love was such a terrible idea. He'd only ruin Riley, but the emotions were there, and they filled pleasure-hazed eyes with the faint sheen of tears. "Riley... you're... I'm..." His arms wrapped around the other man tightly clinging to him as he tumbled into his release, like that leap from the ocean cliffs that he'd contemplated time and again, except the sea he landed in and was swept out was pleasure and warmth and Riley, and Liam didn't ever want to surface.

What a beautifully poetic sentiment, but honestly Riley felt it as well-- felt everything that welled up within as if it was pulsating through him in a blindingly hot light. To be tied to someone, this was what it was like? Riley was assiduous and very careful to make sure that his lover enjoyed this, that he was better than whatever atrocities he was forced to face by the hands of his..

Whatever he was.

It was a terrible idea but he had no choice in the falling. Especially with Liam looking at him with such warmth in those eyes, hazy and somewhat drugged but he could tell the other man was happy. He quickened his pace and then he was pumping deeply inside, hitting that spot over and over again while he pressed kisses to those locks of dark hair, kissing with such fervor while he trembled deep within.

"It is alright.. to let go, I will.. catch you." he promised.

Liam was still holding to Riley like he would be lost to the undertow if he let go even an instant. Maybe he would in this moment; all his defenses had been fully felled by the sweetness and tenderness in Riley's hands and lips and that pull he felt towards the other man.

A startled cry, prayer in its purest form though it was not to a god so much as to this angel of a man fucking him, and then those words. Liam was defenseless against it. That was it for him as he came, spilling over those clever fingers, making a mess of the both of them as he streaked his stomach and Riley's both with his seed.

He was trembling in the wake of his release, still clinging, still holding.

That was the catalyst to his own orgasm, and how it felled him. He felt those walls tighten against him and then there was the heat of seed as it splattered against his stomach; he was caught by surprised though perhaps he should not have been; this was to be an expected. But it was also elation too that he had caused the other man to come undone underneath him.

Pushing in, first once and then twice.. finally a third time before he came; filling the other man with seed and his own orgasm powering through him, it was the sort of trembling that was like a cataclysm, a natural disaster as it enacted itself right upon both their bodies.

And then he closed the distance until he was resting atop Liam, pressing soft kisses against his forehead to sooth him in the shadows of their climax.

Liam was shattered by it, by the pleasure in his release, vision gone blinding white as if his senses were too overwhelmed to handle sight for the moment with all the other physical sensations watching over him. But he still held close to riley, something in his body going lax as the priest settled atop him, the weight of him warm and comfortable and oh so perfect. He loved this man, and he had no right to love him. He wanted Riley and knew he'd only ruin him.

But for the moment at least, he let his eyes fall shut as those lips left those blessings against his forehead. His hands ran slowly up the other man's back, over sweat-damp skin.

"That's... I didn't know it could be like that. Could feel like that..." It never had before. Nothing about this bore a shred of resemblance to the sex that Liam had known previously, and it had undone him to the core, heart and body and soul.

"Mmmmhmmm.." he said as he allowed himself the beauty of the afterglow, nuzzling against Liam while he attempted to catch his breath, he'd not had that much of a workout in a while but it was nice, it was very nice. And there was no guilt too, whatsoever-- all he could feel was at peace with all of this.

"Neither did I?"

Such a thing could've been addictive as well and therefore he pressed more kisses against forehead, the tip of nose and yes even that mouth that he could feel exertion breath puff out of.

Afterglow was new to Liam too, but oh he could get used to this, to the warmth of Riley, the soft touch of those lips falling over his skin. His eyes shut, and he turned to nuzzle back at him, distracted enough as his thoughts reordered themselves that his walls were still a crumbled mess and the affection he so desperately wanted to give was given with soft and unguarded freeness.

He tilted his chin up to meet Riley's lips, a slow and unhurried kiss, less heat and more sweetness in it. Being with Riley like this, this moment stolen out of time, a dream they'd both agreed could happen only for tonight, it made Liam feel truly human for the first time in a very long while, like maybe the entirety of his soul hadn't been ripped out of him by the deals he'd made with demons and the things he'd done in their employ.

So maybe that was where the boldness of his next question came from. "Stay with me tonight? Like this?"

The thing was that Riley was a mess for such kisses as they dripped from those lips, he was a sucker for softness and perhaps it was that hidden romantic within him that could appreciate a good love story, but perhaps had decided that he would always read about love and never truly hold it in the palm of his hand but here was Liam showing him that it was possible.

A dangerous thought.

He melted, the subtle sound of their mouths colliding, the languid tongue and only half-starved feelings that were now cloaked in a feeling of satiation. He had not expected that invitation, he had expected to leave after this moment and return back to the emptiness of his own dorm room. But then he nodded and settled in beside the other man while he draped his arm over his torso.

"I do.. want to stay with you tonight, if you will have me."

This, the night, the way they'd taken each other apart so sweetly, it would be a treasure of a memory that Liam would cling to as some last desperate hope of holding onto what remained of his humanity, before he inevitably lost all of it. He'd miss this, miss what it was and what it could become if the world were a kinder place and they'd walked different paths.

For now though he deliberately put the thoughts of how transient and temporary this was in favor of turning into the other man and winding his arm around him in turn. He smiled, soft and pleasantly tired, lazy. "I'll have you, with pleasure. I'll even cook breakfast in the morning."

Anything to prolong this, to steal another few moments before it ended.

A grin came to Riley's expression, those eyes crinkling at the corner and his hair which had been wet was now starting to dry up a little bit, he rested his head against the pillow and enjoyed the moment for what it was, and tried not to think far past these pillows and blankets. Such would probably bring him a bitter sprig of melancholy.

"Oh yes?" and then he allowed himself to settle into the circle of those arms. "What are you intending on making?" If there was anything that Riley had, it was an appetite (as well as unremittant sweet tooth, which if Liam played his cards right would have him absolutely blissed out.. he was not one who could resist the urge of french toast whatsoever.

Riley looking like that when he smiled was unfair at the cosmic level. Liam felt it like an arrow straight to his heart, and he couldn't have stopped the answering smile from tugging over his lips if he wanted to. This man and that smile, they made something dangerously like hope threaten to blossom in his chest.

"Mm... well we have some options. But I make the best cinnamon raisin french toast."

Clearly Liam knew the key to Riley's heart, even if he as unaware of it.

So did the cooks at the Saintsmourn Cafeteria, they always knew what he preferred the best and they usually passed some cookies here and there to Father Walsh furtively. This was clearly going to end come the time when Riley walked out that door and Liam would not be appearing at Riley's door late at night.

No siree--

"I think that sounds like a very delicious breakfast indeed." and then because he was feeling playful, and it was a good look on him, considering that he very rarely allowed his playful side out for just anyone else; he very lightly nibbled at a jawline. As if to put across the point that he was a fan of all things delicious.

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Saintsmourn

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