: Regency AU :

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek Thelyss was used to being primped and petted.

He was a Lord and the Heir, but not an ideal one, after all Dynasty protocol favored women over men and always had. He had no real power and he would never have minded too terribly much if not for the fact that he was ultimately treated like a pawn by the Duchess Thelyss-- and with Essek desiring his studies more than society, he knew how to play the game albeit that he did not enjoy it and wished for the moments where he was left to his own devices.

There was a betrothal being brooked between himself and Lord Tasithar, handled by his mother.

It was not one that he particularly desired, but he had little say in the matter-- he merely had to be seen allowing the Lord to woo him, whereas the idea of it appeared distasteful to him. But as he stood there underneath the glimmering lights of the ballroom, holding his mask to his face, he found that there was a strange hollowness to this evening.

All of these people, they all meant very little to him.

Not that he did not have his share of dance partners, he would dance with them. But this was not something that he was well versed in, he did not enjoy the frivolous empty flirtations that was expected of him; cool politeness was the only thing that he could give and even that was as sparse as snow in the marquesian desert. And so he stood there in the corner, waiting for those to sign his dance card and ultimately realizing that he was nothing more than chattel for them.

He raised a glass of wine to his lips, and then ducked behind a potted plant once he saw Adeen approach. ]

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[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb of course took the time to find out what that word means and it finds its way to the very center of his heart.]

Mein Sternenlicht,

You may have left your dreaming, but you have found your way quite vividly into my own. I dream of you, of your face and your voice, of the scent of your perfume that travels to me with these precious words. I wish I could truly hear you speaking them to me, to see the way your face lights up when something has caught your interest.

Keep yourself from the fire, my dearest heart. I wish I were able to fold you into my arms now, to taste your lips and make all the promises and confessions I am neither worthy nor permitted to make. I am in love with you. There is so little I have to offer you, nothing that approaches what you deserve, but all of me is yours.

Gods, I miss you.

With all my love,

Caleb.

[zauberdecke]

My beloved Chathtiu,

The evenings are so cold and there is no way to warm myself up.

I saw you at the ball this evening, and I wanted to be twirled around in your arms. You were so graceful and dancing with you made me forget myself-- I hope you noticed my eyes upon you, my gaze could not look away from you even as I had to suffer the attentions of Lord Tasithar.

He is not you.

What you have is enough, Caleb Widogast. It is you who I have fallen irrevocably in love with, you-- titles are tiresome, and wealth even more so but you've sparked something within in myself that transcends that; I wish I could feel your lips on mine, I would give anything for one more kiss.

There is supposed to be an announcement in the coming days, I have no choice in my future now-- the only thing I have is these letters which I cherish. I've created a pocket dimension just for them, a wristpocket if you will-- that way no one can take these missives away from me, not even my mother.

I've read all of them hundreds of time, and each time I read it your voice caresses my heart. Please keep yourself safe and well, my dearest.

Yours,

Essek.

[ausgebrannt]

My darling Sternenlicht,

I felt the caress of your gaze, yes, and wished it were more than that. For all the finery and jewels, the glitter and the shine, you are all I can see. You are beautiful, but I am sure you have heard those words before time and again. But as obvious as that beauty is, it only grew with each time we spoke, each precious second I spent in your presence, in knowing you. And it still grows.

Another kiss and another and another, I wish for this too. There is nothing I can imagine I would not do if I could hold you even once more.

Whatever announcement may come, it cannot change the fact that you are so well woven in my soul that nothing can ever remove those traces of my love for you, not without unraveling the entire fabric of my being. I treasure our letters as well, and hear your voice in these words. It is the only sustenance by which I am graced to survive these days.

With this letter, I have enclosed a small gift, for your wristpocket. I trust you will know how to make use of it. Call for me, my love, and I will always answer.

Yours hopefully,

Caleb.

[Enclosed with this letter -- and delivered by a now quite tired Frumpkin since this was a fair bit heavier than simple parchment -- was a small polished stone, engraved with familiar magic sigils.]

[zauberdecke]

[ After reading the letter, Essek took Frumpkin inside to give him a little bit of a rest, a nice little pillow to rest on while he observed the little stone with sigil, it was a Sending Stone, this he had determined. And what a treasure that it was, a beautiful sweet and treasure but one that could not be used unless he was sure that no one else would hear.

He doubted he was being monitored. His mother thought that her household was secured and he was not one who would disabuse her of the notion. And as long as he acted as normal outside of his bedroom, there would be no suspicion.

Be dutiful, that was what he needed to do. After an hour, he had a missive for Frumpkin. ]

My Dearest Flame,

I am thrilled by this treasure, such a boon I never thought I would be able to recieve. Give me a few hours upon reciept of this letter, I would like to make sure that all of the household is trancing before I use this-- but I will call you, tonight. I long to hear your voice whispering these very things into my ears-- it is not the physical feel of your arms around me or your lips against mine, but I am greedy and will take anything I may get.

Please know that I am in love with you and that no matter what happens or how my future plays out, you will have it.

Perhaps upon my impending marriage, I would be able to have enough freedom where I may take a lover, perhaps this time I will be more discreet-- there would be nothing worse then having you taken from me a second time, my heart could not stand it.

Yours forever,

Essek~

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb received the letter and read it immediately. Frumpkin was cuddled and praised for being the best of all cats-currently-shaped-like-owls and fed treats and set to rest.

And Caleb waited.

His own matching sending stone was set in front of him, and he sat by it like he was keeping vigil, waiting. He would hear his love's voice again tonight, and the thought echoed and ached through him.

And oh he waited.]

[zauberdecke]

[ After two hours had passed, the sending stone started to glow and Essek's voice came over, very uncertain as he'd never really had a sending stone of his own before. He was sitting cross-legged on his own bed and holding the stone in front of him as if it was an item meant to be worshipped. ]

Hello Chathtiu..

Can you hear me?

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb very nearly dropped the stone and sent it flying in his haste to scoop it up at the sound of that voice. He managed to keep hold of it though fingers cradling it gently as he took a breath to steady himself, eyes shutting. His Essek. His love.]

I can hear you, Sternenlicht. It is so good to hear your voice again. I have missed it, very much.

[He felt himself smiling, could feel the way his chest ached with the longing for more. But he could not be selfish.]

Are you well? Frumpkin has assured me he would tell me if you were unwell.

[zauberdecke]

Well I am not being starved if you must know; there has been no bookstore trips though I imagine I will need to go out soon as I am running out of books but I will be accompanied when that time comes. [ Oh he hears Caleb's voice and he settles back against the bed as he cradles the stone in his palm, as if he can feel the warmth there. ] How are you? How are you faring in society-- I hope that you have not been threatened by my mother further.

[ By his agreement, he sought to at the very least make Caleb untouchable; as long as he did what his mother said the other man would not face social ruination. ]

I miss you very much, I miss our mornings of tea and books.. I miss your smile, I miss everything. Please tell me you are well.

[ It was nearly disgusting how sentimental he had become in this week. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Your mother, I believe, is doing her best to forget that I exist. But do not worry about me, ja? I am well cloaked in the protection of insignificance. And I am not concerned with my own social standing. I am fortunate in my friends. They are few but true.

[If he were socially ruined and shunned, Jester would only make a larger show of being seen in public with him. The tiefling woman was stubborn and had a strong if occasionally peculiar sense of justice.]

I am well.

[He lied, ignoring the way Frumpkin fluffed up his feathers as if to say well people eat more than once every other day, but Caleb just waved a hand at the owl.]

...no that is a lie. I am lovesick, but it is an affliction of my own making. And I would not change it even if I could.

[zauberdecke]

I am not a healer, I do not know how to cure lovesickness.

[ Caleb would hear the edge of worry to that voice, there was a bit of concern there as well as he shifted to rest on his side with his back away from the door, holding it close. The house was silent and it was almost like Caleb was the only one who existed in the world right now. ]

Whatever affliction we have, we share-- I have not been eating but the bare minimum myself but that is perhaps no surprise, I have never been a profuse eater to begin with. If I were there though, I would coax you to eat-- would you eat morsels from my own fingertips if I offered them to you?

[ausgebrannt]

There is only one cure, Starlight.

[And it was not something that they were allowed. Caleb had settled back in his own bed, still holding the stone close, thumb tracing the rune etched into its smooth surface. He frowned at the knowledge that Essek was not eating well either. But his concern was momentarily derailed by that question and the extremely distracting image that it conjured up.

Unconsciously his tongue licked at his lips, wetting them while he tried to find his voice.]

Voraciously, my darling. But I would do anything you bid, with those clever fingers.

I doubt I could resist trying to steal a taste of them as well.

[zauberdecke]

[ The thought of Caleb nibbling his fingertips had his heart raising at a speed that he'd never encountered before, he imagined it-- those lips biting food from his fingers, licking and perhaps even sucking.. juices from a berry, tongue active and he found that he had a very active imagination indeed. ]

You could have as many tastes of my fingers as you want-- but the only fruit I would want is that between your lips, your reddened tongue against my own; I only had a nibble and I had wanted more.

[ He was starting to heat just as Caleb was, this was what happened when they were unsupervised, it was clear that this was dangerous but no one was listening.. everything was quiet. ]

What have you done to me? This is the first time I have had such thoughts--

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb had to swallow back a sound that was frankly indecent at those words. Because gods knew his imagination had taken flight as well.]

Even that taste was enough that I am addicted your lips, your mouth. I would make such a feast of all of you, Starlight.

[Clearly Essek was not the only one whose thoughts had taken this turn into the scandalous, to the unmistakably carnal. To hell with propriety and all of those trappings. His heart and mind and body knew their match and desired, yearned, for that missing piece of himself.]

I wonder how sweet you would sound for me as I learned the taste of every inch of your skin...

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek leaned back against the coverlet as he heard those words, impossibly throaty-- he could hear the faintest edge of want in those words and he was rather giddy with the thought that he bid that definite reaction to rise. He'd been known as the Ice Queen throughout the Ton but he felt a strange melting at those words.

And he said as much. ]

You are making me melt, Mister Widogast.. in fact I am quite sure that I would melt underneath your mouth wherever you kissed me.

[ Essek had a feeling he was approaching deep waters, but Caleb was there with him right? He wouldn't drown. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Would you? I would certainly enjoy finding out...

[A breathy sigh as if Caleb was indeed picturing it. His fingers ran over the smooth surface of the sending stone, clearly wishing it were something else he was touching, something warmer and softer and oh he was diving straight into the sinful thoughts tonight.]

I would find out what it takes to have you come undone for me entirely, if I could. And I would hold you in the wake of it, as long as I you allowed me to hold you.

[Forever would be nice, but these were all fantasies, and destined to be that.]

[zauberdecke]

[ How Essek found himself wanting to pursue this line of thought that Caleb spoke to of him so beautifully, it was hard not to trail his fingertips against the fabric covering his body, not quite committing it but feeling the touch where he wished to be melted thoroughly. ]

I think you would find that I would want to be held for along as you would wish to hold me.. but I am not familiar with much of this of what you describe, so I would place my trust in your hands; but I would do so willingly.

[ And then a whispered. ]

Because I am in love with you.

[ausgebrannt]

We would discover it together, ja?

[Caleb murmured the words like a promise, even if they were the impossibility that lay stretched out like an expanse between them. He shut his eyes to imagine the drow's face in this moment, to picture Essek relaxed and perhaps flushed just faintly, a smile playing on those lips that he still yearned to kiss.

His eyes opened when those words found his ears though, and he clutched the sending stone closer.]

I am in love with you too. [A hushed confession back.] So hopelessly, desperately in love with you.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek could have dreams, he could have fantasies. Here in this moment he could pretend that there was a future for the two of them-- and wasn't that a bit of a cruelty to the both of them. But he was impossibly drawn to Caleb's light, to the sound of his voice and the promise therein. He was only a little bit flushed from the words, made even more so by the tenor of his forbidden lover's words.

In another life, they could be married. He wanted to imagine that life with Caleb, wanted to imagine a life that was just their own. ]

I would like you to ah.. tell me more, about the things we could do together. [ If they were allowed, if they simply had the freedom. Already he could feel that aching within him that had recently swelled up within him-- like a man whom had found his mate and responded to only him.] I would like to know how the man I so ardently love would ah.. make his claim on me.

[ausgebrannt]

[They really were choosing pain for themselves in this, but Caleb couldn't seem to stop it either. Essek had him in his gravity, and Caleb belonged orbiting the blindingly brilliant star that was Essek Thelyss. So as forbidden as this was, Caleb wanted it all the more by the moment.

It would not be enough. Nothing but waking each morning with Essek wrapped into his arms would ever be enough, but it was something.]

Oh? Shall I tell you all about it then? I have so many ideas, my love.

[A low hum, meant to be thoughtful, but there's a hint of something approaching a growl in it, breathy and wanting.]

To start with though, we would have to set aside your pretty clothes. It would not do to have them rumpled or soiled, would it? So I would have to begin by unwrapping you like the beautiful present that you are.

[zauberdecke]

[ Why did that growl make Essek's toes curl ever so slightly, it was almost primal the way that he responded to it; as if he was Caleb's. He sighed and fingered the sending stone as he imagined the act of disrobing, the rustle of silk as his own bedclothes were gently pushed aside to reveal his skin, though his mind could not comprehend how that would go down.

He stretched on the bed, as if to do such would cause that tension to sift from his limbs, but it was still there, his teeth bit at his lower lip and then he continued. ]

I am wearing nothing underneath my nightrobes, you will find that my skin is humming with want for you, Chathtiu-- for your touch, to be worshipped by you.. loved by your lips.

[ausgebrannt]

And it will be. Starting from your own lips, to leave a prayer there before my hands and lips map out the rest of your body. You would have to forgive me the indiscretion of trying my teeth against your neck, though any marks I leave I'll be mindful of where... so only you and I will know they are there. But we will know, won't we?

[A small and hidden mark of possession, a claim staked that would be a secret between only the two of them.

Caleb shifted where he laid, trying to ignore the fact that his prick was also interested in this conversation.]

[zauberdecke]

[ They were two like-minded individuals for Essek's own cock was throbbing quite insistently with each syllable that came out of Caleb's mouth; his own voice-- he had to keep quiet and low but it certainly could not disguise the gasp that came from his mouth at the thought of Caleb's teeth biting into him.

For a drow who desired to be mated? That was a heady mental image, the likes of which he could not deny. ] Would you let me mark you too? Bite my teeth into your shoulder? After all it should be equal in all things, I would need to claim you too-- I would want to taste your skin as well.

[ He'd read a few romance books (Verin left then lying around) but this felt far filthier, far more depraved-- there was something instinctual about this. ] You would not deny me, would you?

[ausgebrannt]

I would deny you nothing, my love.

[He couldn't even conceive of denying him. Anything that Essek desired, were it in his power or beyond it, Caleb would find a way to see it done. He had fallen so hard that the rest of his life would be spent in the throes of that fall. And so be it.]

I would beg you for it, beg for you to mark me, to stake your claim on my skin, on all of me.

[One hand slipped down, just to unfasten his trousers, ease a bit of the pressure. Certainly not more than that. ...maybe a small brief touch. Ignore the hitch in his breath, Essek.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek heard the hitched breath, and his entire body heated at what that could mean. Was Caleb.. touching himself? He found himself curious and yet with no way of truly finding out. He was not going to broach that topic instead, so he decided to paint Caleb a pretty picture. He slid one hand beneath his robe, smoothing over his chest until he located one taut peak and the he gave it an experimental flick, a soft hiss of pleasure. ]

Tonight I am not a fine nobleman, Caleb-- tonight I am your lover; I want to feel your touch, I want you to spread my thighs, I want to spread your thighs in turn, I want to kiss you until you are breathless for me and I want to push your clothes off your body until I can feel your skin hum for me-- what will I find if I pull apart at the ties fastening your shirt?

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek heard the hitched breath, and his entire body heated at what that could mean. Was Caleb.. touching himself? He found himself curious and yet with no way of truly finding out. He was not going to broach that topic instead, so he decided to paint Caleb a pretty picture. He slid one hand beneath his robe, smoothing over his chest until he located one taut peak and the he gave it an experimental flick, a soft hiss of pleasure. ]

Tonight I am not a fine nobleman, Caleb-- tonight I am your lover; I want to feel your touch, I want you to spread my thighs, I want to spread your thighs in turn, I want to kiss you until you are breathless for me and I want to push your clothes off your body until I can feel your skin hum for me; most importantly I want your body pressed to mine.