: Regency AU :

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek Thelyss was used to being primped and petted.

He was a Lord and the Heir, but not an ideal one, after all Dynasty protocol favored women over men and always had. He had no real power and he would never have minded too terribly much if not for the fact that he was ultimately treated like a pawn by the Duchess Thelyss-- and with Essek desiring his studies more than society, he knew how to play the game albeit that he did not enjoy it and wished for the moments where he was left to his own devices.

There was a betrothal being brooked between himself and Lord Tasithar, handled by his mother.

It was not one that he particularly desired, but he had little say in the matter-- he merely had to be seen allowing the Lord to woo him, whereas the idea of it appeared distasteful to him. But as he stood there underneath the glimmering lights of the ballroom, holding his mask to his face, he found that there was a strange hollowness to this evening.

All of these people, they all meant very little to him.

Not that he did not have his share of dance partners, he would dance with them. But this was not something that he was well versed in, he did not enjoy the frivolous empty flirtations that was expected of him; cool politeness was the only thing that he could give and even that was as sparse as snow in the marquesian desert. And so he stood there in the corner, waiting for those to sign his dance card and ultimately realizing that he was nothing more than chattel for them.

He raised a glass of wine to his lips, and then ducked behind a potted plant once he saw Adeen approach. ]

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[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb was aware of the drow thoughts and customs on the touching of hair. He'd always been a reader, a studier, and his parents had encouraged him to know the history and cultures of their neighbors and countrymen. It would make him a better caretaker of his family's name, when that was still a thing not lost to him.

So he knew at least some of the significance of that request.]

I would like that very much. To lay my head in your lap, to feel your fingers in my hair.

[His touch lingered at Essek's cheek a moment more.]

I would like any touch from your hands. Or your lips.

[Or anything else. He hesitated a moment and reached back to pull the tie loose from where it held his hair back at the nape of his neck, sending copper strands falling free about his shoulders. Essek may as well have full access.

And with that he shifted so that he could lay back, could rest his head in Essek's lap, looping up at him with adoration-filled blue eyes.]

[zauberdecke]

[ This felt like a sweet dream to Essek; something out of a fairytale. He rested one hand against Caleb's chest, right above waistcoat, and then the other started to thread against those ginger strands; he was aware of those intense eyes on him and perhaps there was a bit self consciousness within it, but soon he understood why this was forbidden. The touch of hair was like silk to his fingers, the way that they seemed to ripple in the breeze, and it was but a single gesture more and then he was sliding his hand, curling a lock around his finger and watching it unwind.

And then there was the temple, where the hair met scalp, and his carefully manicured nails got in there and started to rub, stroking like one would a cat.

It was a near sensual experience, and it was clear that it meant something to Essek because of the way that he seemed to swallow at certain points. A delicate exploratioin that was thorough. ]

You have very beautiful hair, Caleb Widogast.

[ausgebrannt]

You have very dangerous hands, Essek Thelyss.

[Caleb informed him. But it was very clear that it was not a complaint. Each touch of those fingers through his hair had a content sigh slipping from his lips, eyes falling half shut so that he watched Essek through a fringe of ginger lashes.

He could get used to this, and there was no mistaking the way that Caleb's entire body seemed to ease, tension evaporating with Essek's touch, with being close to him.]

[zauberdecke]

Of course I have dangerous hands, I am a wizard after all.

[ He was quiet about this, it was an ambition that was only useful if it benefited his mother; the moment it ceased to be useful was certainly the moment that he was commanded to stop. And Adeen did not seem the sort that would condone anyone's scholarly pursuits. Essek did not want to think about that too much, the curtailing of something that he enjoyed. ]

But, my hands would never hurt you.

[ He all but felt the hum of contentment vibrating off of Caleb. ] You have had a rough life, I can tell.. I do not know much of suffering, only of being caged-- but if I can provide you some succor, it would give me much happiness.

[ It was of course a thinly veiled offer that Caleb may confide in him if he wish, but only as much as he desired. ]

[ausgebrannt]

This is true... and a brilliant one.

[That had become clear in their morning talks over tea, over traded demonstrations of what small spells they could safely cast without calling too much attention to themselves. Essek's mind was sharp and always a storm of connection and seeking and creation.]

I know they would not. You are a sanctuary. If the world were a kinder place, I would call you my home, and strive to be the same for you.

[He recognized that offer for what it was though, and began, carefully.] It has been many years since I have had a home. It was taken from me, violently, by a terrible man. He was the reason I came to find myself interacting with Ton to start with... I intend to avenge my family.

[zauberdecke]

[ Ah, a story of vengenance, it was something that Essek understood well. Very carefully he stroked those brows, following the line of them while he considered it. ] Is there anything I may do to help you? Information I may gather? I can... [ He was usually wary of giving out favors to people, for fear they may make it mean too much, a sign of favor.

But Caleb was different. ] For all that I am caged within the Ton, I still do have venues that I may pursue and I do not mind pulling a few strings if you require it.

[ It was an offer of Essek that he would gladly help Caleb, that he would put whatever tools in his hands as were necessary. It was the least that he could do, yes? ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb shook his head at the offer, eyes opening to look up at him with a soft, sad expression.]

I know you can. I know you are capable and connected, and I'm grateful for the offer. But... he is a terrible, dangerous monster of a man. I would not be able to live with myself, if anything drew his attention your way. If you suffered at his hand. Especially for my sake.

[Ikithon had taken too much from him already; he would not survive losing Essek too. It would destroy what battered bits of himself he had pieced back together. He reached up from where he lay, fingertips brushing along Essek's chin, along his lower lip.]

You've already given me the gift of finding a reason to love this world once more so long as you are in it.

[zauberdecke]

[ The drow saw that sad soft smile, there was that infinite sadness about him and he longed to kiss it away, instead he pressed a kiss to that fingertip that lightly grazed against his lower lip, closing his eyes as he did so. ]

If there is anything I may do...

[ Perhaps in a way it was best that Ikithon did not know that Caleb and Essek were connected, for there was much that could be used to the other wizards ruination. But still Essek did not like feeling helpless. ] Then I shall endeavor to make this month delightful, I will not accept a single day that goes by where I do not see you.

[ And was he pondering roping his brother into this? Roping him into saying that Essek was going hunting with him, just an excuse perhaps to steal a week or so of time uninterrupted with Caleb. Hunting has been known to go on for a solid week if not a fortnight. The wheels in his head were turning. ]

[ausgebrannt]

I cannot imagine a better month.

[One where he could see and speak with Essek without anyone forcing them apart. He wanted it, in a greedy, yearning way. He wanted to hold the other man close, to be the embrace that Essek would return to again and again. Even if it were only for this brief respite before reality reclaimed them.]

I am happy, to be here, with you. My Starlight.

[Even if their eventual parting would feel like losing some intrinsic piece of himself, carving his heart from his chest and allowing it to be married away to a pompous, power-hungry man who did not deserve it, and could not even begin to conceive of the treasure he was being granted.]

[zauberdecke]

Very well then, we shall make the most of these days that we have, if you can believe-- I am attempting to figure out ways in which we very rarely have to leave each other's sides.

[ Since his mother was rarely at the country estate, she did not have as much loyalty as she did in town, so it would be easy to manipulate the situation, the caretaker was someone who Essek trusted, Uraya. She had all but raised him and his brother though she was not of the Den, almost like a nursemaid. ]

[ Essek's fingertips lightly played with the buttons of Caleb's waistcoat, could see the informality of the other man's attire, the way that the button parted at the throat.. and the few sprigs of hair he could see peeking out. ]

My mother rarely comes to the country except for house parties so the servants are not as loyal as they ought to be.

[ausgebrannt]

Ah that is good, then we will hopefully raise no suspicions among them that they will report back to her. We will still be careful, ja?

[Clever and cautious so none of this precious time was taken from them. If it was to be all they had, he would not want to waste a moment of it.

But he was relaxed in this moment, no fear of being discovered or interrupted. He was looking up at the drow from where he still rested in his lap. He reached out to take Essek's hand in his carefully, lifting it so he could press a kiss first to the inside of his wrist, then the back of his hand gently.]

Jester has offered to help in any way we need. She has decided that she will be the champion of our secret romance. I think she believes it is a romance novel.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek remembered the way that Caleb touched his wrist and he had dreamed of further touches; the graze of lips was a bit scandalous and edged on the brink of proprietary but not there was noone who could see this now, it was clandestine and furtive and he could feel his cheeks heat.

The thought of someone championing their romance? He knew their romance would not a happily ever after-- but perhaps a happy right now would be perfect. ]

Oh yes? Does she have plans for us?

[ he was already wondering if he should mention quite yet Verin's intention to say they were going hunting together which would free him of staying at the estate for at least a week. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb laughed quietly at the question, looking faintly sheepish. He laces their fingers together, thumb caressing along Essek's in a soft, gentle sort of touch. Yes, propriety had gone out the window, and Caleb did not care. There was no script for this, they would have to write the story as they went along.]

I'm sure, ja. She has offered us the cottage on the estate's grounds, for whatever we may need to use it for. In case the weather does not cooperate for a picnic.

[A small sanctuary for the both of them. He would not tell Essek that Jester was in favor of them running off and eloping to live together happily ever after.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Eloping had not occurred to Essek as an option however even if it had; he knew his mother was intimidating and imposing-- he would not force anyone to deal with her wrath and her ire; he was not precisely content with his lot in life but he would attempt to power through it with grace and dignity.

He enjoyed slipping their fingers together and those eyes were soft and violet with the flecks of gold being caught warmly like falling leaves within his eyes. ]

I am well aware of that cottage, both Verin and I used to sneak to the cottage to play like we were grown ups though I have not been there in years. [ He realized now that he just admitted to trespassing, but hindsight. ] From my memories it has a fireplace, a cozy kitchen, a roof that doesn't leak and...

[ he pauses, of course he does because this is a matter of speaking it into being. ]

A bed. [ You know, the important thing. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb could not help the smile that settled over his lips at the little peek into Essek's childhood mischief. That was frankly adorable to picture, and he wished he could have truly seen it. It also made him curious about Essek's brother -- not the first time. The drow seemed to speak of his sibling with a genuine fondness, which made Verin a very interesting figure so far as Caleb was concerned.]

It is very cozy, ja. And...

[Oh well. Yes, there was indeed a bed.]

There is that too, yes.

[He pressed another kiss to that hand.] Would you let me take you to bed?

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek felt his breath catch in all the right ways, his fingers slipping downward to sink into locks of Caleb's hair; the idea of going to bed with Caleb; they'd discussed it over sending stone, all of the ways in which they'd have each other but it came down to this moment where they admitted it to each other's face and presence. ]

Ah yes, I would let you take me to bed Caleb Widogast.

[ Because he could not bear to think of his first time being with Adeen; no-- let the other drow have the leftovers, the crumbs-- that was all that he deserved. ] Gladly...

[ausgebrannt]

[It was making it very real all of a sudden, those fantasies traded in hushed whispers over sending stone. Now he was looking up at those beautiful features, feeling those elegant fingers moving through his hair. Bracing himself on one arm, he sat up just enough so that his other hand could reach out to brush along Essek's jaw, catching his chin as he leaned in to press a kiss to those lips.]

Then I will take you to bed as if you were my husband, as if it were our wedding.

[Like it should be, in a kinder world. But to hell with Adeen and everything about him. He did not deserve Essek in the slightest.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Caleb Widogast, making him want things that he should not want; dreaming dreams that he'd never even contemplated before. Once upon a time, his dreams had been books, peace, and quiet but now it had turned into something warm-- the companionship of another man and the shared space that entailed. Oh how he would love to be married to this man, but it wasn't practical.. it was not practical and it was dangerous.

But perhaps he could pretend for just a little while.

He wanted to weave the most beautiful dream for this incandescent wizard. ] Right now I can believe that I am not the station that I am, that we are two men lounging about in the grass, with nothing to seperate us-- betrothed and ready to settle in a little cottage, full of books and cats.

[ausgebrannt]

[If his parents were alive, if he were still Lord Bren Ermendrud, would they have met? Would that same spart have leapt to life between them? Or would they have passed by like well-dressed ships in the night, orbits never quite coinciding? Would he have had the chance to properly court Essek Thelyss as he deserved?

All the what ifs were meaningless. This was the reality of their lives, and for all the horrors of his life, this was a beautifully bright piece of it, knowing and loving the drow.]

A warm fire and cooking dinner together in the cozy kitchen. We can imagine it, ja?

[Wistful and soft.] And pretend it is ours. ...though what is not pretense is how I feel for you. That part is true, will always be true.

[zauberdecke]

No, there is no pretense in the feelings that we share, if there was-- it would not have been nearly so painful to be parted from you.

[ And there was the truth of it, that they were ingrained in each other's souls and that any stolen moment would still not be enough-- but Essek could not stop following the fire, wanting to be burned by this man.

He hummed and then leaned in to capture those lips, same as when Caleb sought his own claim. Their lips made contact and there were sparks there so deep underneath the surface. He wanted to sink against the other and never surface. ]

Just by knowing you exist, you have made my world brighter. [ But there was an assignation to plan, wasn't there. ] I should tell you about my plan, I may have gotten my brother to say that I am going to go on a week-long hunting trip with him, my brother is spontaneous so it can happen whenever you wish it to.

[ausgebrannt]

Ah... that is a very good plan. And I will be indebted to your brother for his assistance in this.

[Extremely indebted. Verin was clearly a good one. Caleb's brain was abuzz with all the possibilities. Another softly stolen kiss and he smiled, a quiet and oddly breathless thing.]

I am very fond of the idea of not letting you out of my arms for days and nights. I have dreamed of holding you, you know. They are very sweet dreams.

[Sweeter than the usual night terrors that plagued his sleep. Even in the thought of Essek he found sanctuary.]

But dreams of you pale in comparison to the reality of you, Essek Thelyss.

[zauberdecke]

[ His fingers stroke up that chest, against that collar where he grazes against ginger hair that is peeking out of the top of the shirt, no cravat and slightly undone at the first few buttons. And here he was wearing a proper cravat and waistcoat but he certainly would not mind a bit of dishevelment. He could claim that his ride was vigorous and his cravat had come undone as he urged his horse into a gallop.

So easy to spin untruths so that others do not find out.

Finally his palm cups the side of Caleb's neck and he looks up into those eyes, catching the breathlessness of that smile, the tenderness. ] I have had the same dreams, I have missed you so much-- so much that I ache for you; a simple sending stone is not enough, it will never be enough for me.

[ He was eager to set a time, and he was decidedly not patient when it came to Caleb Widoagst, he wanted him as soon as possible. Wanted Caleb to take them to their wedding bed, however illusionary it was. ] Day after tomorrow, I will go 'hunting' with my brother but I will meet you at this cottage, would that be enough time? [ Time enough to stock it with everything they would require for a week long assignation. ] If you require more time, I understand of course.

[ausgebrannt]

[Even such a small, innocent touch had Caleb feeling like he had been set ablaze, a heat that started in the center of his chest as something far more dangerous than simple lust. No, lust he could have managed. It was the love that felt like it was replacing the air in his lungs and the blood in his veins that would be the end of him. He'd shatter worlds to see this beautiful, brilliant, guarded, lonely man smile. What he wouldn't do to make him happy. It should have been terrifying, but there was a lightness to it, a break from gravity that made fear impossible -- even for someone as talented with being afraid as Caleb Widogast.

So maybe he could be forgiven for the audacity of reaching up and running the backs of his knuckles along Essek's cheek, down and following the graceful curve of his neck, stopping where fingers met the fine soft fabric of that cravat and slowly beginning to work it loose.]

That will be more than enough time. I will make sure we have whatever we might need.

[And slowly he tugged the cravat free, fingertips brushing along the revealed hollow of the drow's throat, the contour along his collarbone.]

I do not want to wait any longer than we have already, ja?

[zauberdecke]

Kiss me right there...

[ Essek was entranced by the feeling of Caleb slowly unworking the folds of his cravat, revealing his throat and the soft sprinkle of star freckles. In fact this would be the first time that he had not glamoured them away, so there was a solar system of light stars dancing over skin, begging to be kissed. But they did not stop there, a light dusting against the high of his cheekbones, across the bridge of his nose.

He nearly caught his breath at the look in those eyes. ] I do not want to wait either, I want you so desperately that even waiting a few days will be all but painful but I will make arrangements with my brother and.. [ He tugged at his lower lip with teeth ] I would still like to meet you tomorrow at this same time, if your schedule would allow.

[ausgebrannt]

[The words were as good as a command, and Caleb was eager and quick to obey. He leaned close, lips mapping that star-kissed skin as if intent on memorizing the landscape of him entirely, starting here exactly. Kiss after kiss fell, down to the edge of his collarbone where he couldn't resist a soft scrape of teeth.]

I did not notice before... your freckles. I would like to chart them, find all the constellations on your skin.

[He leaned back to meet the other man's gaze with his own, to dare to steal another kiss from plush plum lips.]

You are my schedule, Sternenlicht. I will be here tomorrow for you.