Baby, it's cold outsid

[ausgebrannt]

[It was Caleb's first Winter's Crest in Rexxentrum, in the small cottage that he had taken to calling home now that the Nein had taken a step back from the more intense part of their adventuring. Lucien and Cognouza were dealt with. Trent Ikithon was imprisoned. The war between the Dynasty and the Empire ended. Jobs well done, he supposed.

He had Essek had plans to travel back to Aeor, to seek out the T-Dock and the other mysteries of magic that lingered there, but the trip had not yet been undertaken. After all, Caleb knew that the drow had to be careful. The eyes of the Dynasty and the Bright Queen would eventually fall on him in regards to the stolen beacon. But that didn't mean he didn't look forward to the evenings that Essek managed to drop by to spend time.

He treasured those times, when they'd discuss magic and theory. He'd make tea -- or sometimes break out something a bit stronger -- and they'd talk until all hours.

All that talking but some thing still remained unsaid, unspoken, and lingering on the tip of Caleb's tongue where he could taste the bittersweetness of it, of a longing and a desire that he genuinely believed he did not truly deserve to ever really satisfy. How could he? He was a tainted thing, hands still blood-covered, despite his continued attempts to atone.

But he was still too selfish not to want.

Tonight he was seated in his chair, glancing at the door with an undisguised anxious hope. It had been a while since Essek had come, and Caleb missed him. And with Winter's Crest upon them, well, he wanted to share that with the drow, to show him the traditions he had grown up with.]

Comments

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb was trying to keep his heart from beating out of his chest while he waited, though how could it do anything but race when it had been turned inside out and spilled out here in the light, confessions made and truth told. His arms tightened around the drow reflexively, holding him close as Essek went and hid his face.]

I will wait as long as you need me to wait.

[And then those words, that were too sweet to be meant for him. Was he really allowed to have something so incalculably precious? His breath caught in his throat and he had to take a moment to try to find his voice once more so he could properly answer.]

I am in love with you too. So completely.

[zauberdecke]

I know that you do not think yourself worthy of ne, but the secret is that I feel the same way that you do, except that I do not think that I am worthy of you.

[ A soft kiss to the pulse of neck before finally he leaned backward so that he could look into Caleb's eyes. ] So perhaps we shall work at being worthy of each other? Hand in hand?

[ it was an offer, because they both had their insecurities and their mutual traumas, their past sins that plagued them. But Essek thought that perhaps one day he could be the man worthy of the love of this bright and wonderfully caring man. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[A momentary surprise at the fact that Essek shared that insecurity, but really it was not entirely shocking. They'd both been defined in many ways, in their own minds, by their worst mistakes.]

Ja. Together. We will become better men together, ja? I am already better than I was, for having known you.

[He set a hand against Essek's cheek, thumb tracing along that sharp cheekbone. The affection was clear in his gaze, no attempt made to disguise even a scintilla of it.]

[zauberdecke]

Likewise, Caleb.

[ There was no mistletoe but now? There did not need to be an excuse to kiss him. He realized with sharpened clarity that he could kiss Caleb whenever he desired and wasn't that something to think about? A tilt upward to capture their lips together once again, this time the kiss was questing and seeking while his fingers combed through Caleb's hair, massaging against scalp-- all of those things that he would've been looked askance at if he was still a son of the Dynasty.

But he was not.

He was now a man who could live life on his own terms, and right now he was basking in the gift of what this night had given him, pressing kiss upon kiss on that mouth and with such startling clarity, he would not hide it either; this affection he felt in his heart for the other man. They would go to Aeor now, not just as colleagues, but something more. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb would most assuredly be a fan of this new found permission and ability to kiss Essek when he wished. And when the Dunamancer wished. He leaned into those lips this time, chasing the kiss deeper, a hunger in him but also an unmistakable tenderness. Essek who had become someone he trusted without reservation, who had met him on an intellectual level, who understood some of the worst of the darkness in him.

Those fingers in his hair were deliciously distracting, and Caleb was very clearly remembering just how long it had been since he'd been with anyone. Ages. A lifetime ago. He probably ought to consider taking things slow, but they had been orbiting one another in this cautious dance a long while now.]

I... ah... had prepared a room for you, but I am wondering if perhaps you would consider sharing mine tonight?

so I was reading through this.. and it's christmas.. so....

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek was also a fan of the kisses, they were tender just as he had imagined them to be but also there was that underlying vein of heat, spice that he could taste upon Caleb's mouth and the warmth of those arms. They had made a decision here this day, and it meant that the world had opened up before them, even if that world was just their own hearts.

There was still possibility there.

He looked at Caleb rather consideringly, with those lashes that had no real right to be so soft and long, framing those violet eyes flecked with gold and how they appeared to be knowing. ] I think there would be no harm in that, though I know that I only require four hours of sleep, and I would not want to inadvertently wake you up but I suppose I could be very quiet and there are books in your room for me to read I would imagine.

[ Though Essek had proved to be a rather big fan of kissing up and to the point where he tried to manipulate the system. Maybe he would feel shame over how brazenly he acted, but he had been invited and well.. Caleb enjoyed it, he enjoyed it. So there was a mutual enjoyment and that was fine.. ]

Perhaps that was a roundabout way of saying that I would be honoured to share your room with you, Chathtiu.. [ Essek's bright firefly. ]

YAY CRIMMAS SHADOWGAST

[ausgebrannt]

[There was still part of Caleb that questioned whether or not he deserved something quite so good as love, but that voice had grown quiet -- or perhaps the voice of desire and rightness he felt having Essek in his arms had grown loud -- enough to not question it or doubt it. Life was too short for allowing that sort of doubt in any longer than it had already existed.

Besides, how could he ever resist those violet eyes and the gold scattered galaxies that swirled within them.]

There are few places in this tower where a book or three are not within immediate reach.

[Nerds. Gonna nerd. But. Arms around Essek, he les his hand slide up along the Dunamancer's spine.]

Good. I'm very glad. And honored too. [Though he was, unsurprisingly, also curious.]

Chathtiu. [He echoed quietly, trying out the word.] Will you tell me what this means or must I cast Tongues?

[zauberdecke]

[ As was expected, books easily accessed-- Essek thought that was perfect, to have both Caleb as well as an interesting tome within reach. But he rather thought, and he did not quite know why he was so sure, that this man and him might not get very much sleep when it ultimately came down to it. ]

You could cast Tongues, but I shall not tease you-- after all you were helpful in telling me what the affectionate word in Zemnian meant, so I will return the favor in good faith. [ A tilt of his head upward, how he managed to look up at Caleb in a slightly imperious way, as if he was in fact taller than Caleb (when he was not) was a marvel. ]

It means firefly, in the Undercommon tongue, it means that I consider you something warm and bright in the darkness... you are an eye catch for me, and always have been.

[ Because Essek had seen the beauty within Caleb and he wanted to revel in it, for he was but a moth who desired such warmth; he'd not felt it in such a very long time.. until the Nein, and Caleb ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Yeah there may not be too much reading or sleeping time tonight, given the growing electric energy in the air around them, as long held desire was finally being allowed to come out into the light.

As Essek answered, Caleb was certain that he was blushing. He'd never been called something quite so sweet. Warm and bright? Was that how Essek saw him? It was a thought that had his heart feeling fit to burst from his chest as if determined to make its way directly to Essek.]

I am not accustomed to hearing such sweet things... I fear you have me blushing.

[zauberdecke]

[ And Essek was not precisely frightened of it; perhaps he had been wary in the past of growing close to anyone, but the fact of the matter was that he trusted Caleb Widogast. There was no one that he trusted more than him, and knew that the other man understood everything about him and still accepted him.

They were two sides of the same coin.

And he wished that he could show Caleb how beautiful he truly was; Essek could see that the other man was still reluctant to believe it even as he wanted to believe it. ]

I think you deserve to blush a little bit, it brings out the freckles.

[ And perhaps a bit more carefully, maybe even with a hint of a smile. ] Makes them look like golden sundrops across your nose, and well everywhere really... I wonder how many stars I could chart against them?

[ausgebrannt]

[They'd seen the darkest pieces of each other, hadn't they? And Caleb found that he loved Essek for those dark places as much as the light ones, loved him all the more for the scars he'd carried from his past that had led him along the path to being this brilliant, beautiful, flawed, perfect man.

Except here was Essek continuing to say sweet things to him that had Caleb -- pale ass ginger that he was -- turning an even more noticeable shade of red.

So Essek would have to forgive him for tipping his head forward to hide it against the drow's shoulder before murmuring.]

I have told you that I'm in love with you already, ja?

[He felt like he was being wooed okay? And it was super effective and he liked it but also hearing someone say good things about him was not his strong suit and he didn't entirely know how to properly handle it. Never mind good things that were so achingly romantic like charting stars in his freckles.]

[zauberdecke]

Yes, that did come up in conversation.. I recall.

[ Essek said this quite matter-of-factly, even as he felt the forehead against his shoulder, could feel the heated blush as well as the complete and utter emotional wreck that he was making of Caleb. Good, very good; Essek found that he enjoyed that entirely too much.

Now that he knew, now that he understood that his feelings were reciprocated; there was very little he would not do for this man who promised to 'leave the light on' for him, who told him that he would wait for Essek's life to get settled. And now, Essek had something to return to, something to live for and to remind him that he could have a life full of this perhaps-- if he worked hard enough to deserve it. ]

You are not allowed to argue with me about how I perceive you, you are also not allowed to tell me I am wrong.

[ausgebrannt]

I was unaware there were rules.

[Caleb quipped, lifting his head to look at Essek with a smile that ran the strange border between mischievous and shy. The flush still lingering nudged it more towards the latter, even if the tone of his voice tried to tug it back to the former.]

Are there others I should be aware of? I'd hate to find myself in trouble unintentionally.

[Now, finding himself in trouble intentionally? Well. That might be fun.]

[zauberdecke]

Well not too many rules, I have had enough of too many needless rules but...

[ His arms were still wound around those shoulders, and he managed to give the other man a raised eye brow though those eyes held such quiet and pleased mirth-- the ex-shadowhand was enjoying himself, those smiles had become far more used to being on his lips and he looked far different from the slightly dead-eyed drow that held far more secrets then the Nein had been aware of. ]

There are a few rules, only a few.. and one of them is that how I see you may not be what you see.. but it is my truth. [ A fingertip just against the bottom of that chin, tilting it so that he could peer upwards, the tip of the elongated nail only just a little bit biting into bearded skin. ]

And did you not encourage me to live my truth and walk away from lies?

[ Oh yes, he was getting Caleb Widogast on a technicality now. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[See, this was the problem with falling in love with beautiful, staggeringly brilliant wizards; you often got trapped by logic that you couldn't possibly wiggle your way out of when it came to debates. And here he was with Essek handing him back his own words.

Yup. Well played.]

I suppose I did do exactly that, didn't I?

[There was a note of amusement in his voice still, as if he was fully aware of what Essek was doing. There was a note of something else entirely there too, inspired as he lifted his chin at the sharp pressure of that nail because wow holy crap why was that so much a turn on?]

[zauberdecke]

[ Very carefully, Essek leaned upward and pressed a full-mouthed kiss against that lower lip that was encased by the ginger of Caleb's beard, something that Essek was very much enamored of-- yes, Caleb had been very handsome clean-shaven and he had a feeling that was to impress him-- but he rather liked the beard more.

So he allowed his spare palm to move upward until his digits could run through the hair at jawline. ]

You are very very pretty, did you know that?

[ He was testing the other man, to dispute it.

Perhaps he was showing that deep down inside, he was still a little bit calculating and maybe just a little bit evil-- but only in the nice way. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb was quite content to sink into that kiss. He had not picked up on Essek's fondness for his facial hair yet, but he'd be terribly pleased about it when he did. ...he'd likely discover it at some point when the drow stole away his razor when he next got it into his head to go fresh faced again.]

I am--

[He was going to dispute it, Essek. But he saw what the Drow was doing here and his mouth snapped shut.]

That is not something I have ever been made aware of before, no.

[But he did find that he very much liked the idea of Essek finding him pretty, or any other flavor of attractive.]

[zauberdecke]

[ That was when Essek pulled Caleb's head down to fully kiss him, this time without the call of the mistletoe; because at this point in time he did not think that he needed an excuse, not anymore-- not when Caleb found it pleasant; he kissed that snapped shut mouth to soften it while his palm felt the bristle of beard.

Perhaps he even licked at the soft crease between the lips to further the endeavors. ] Good boy...

[ He breathed like a reverent praise against Caleb, before he parted his mouth just underneath the other man's; giving the other man a reward in the form of a deeper hotter kiss, the bare essence of Essek's tongue a distraction while he nuzzled as best as he was able. ] You are.. very much so-- to me, like a zemnian kitten.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb did not resist that pull, sinking all too willingly into those lips. No, no excuses were needed any longer. They'd both discovered how perfectly their lips slotted together, and Caleb was quite certain he was already addicted to the taste of the Dunamancer. He started to part his lips to welcome the kiss deeper when those two words derailed every thought he'd had in his life to this point.

The simple praise rushed straight through him, infiltrating his bloodstream and siphoning almost all of said blood directly downward. Oh. He liked that. Should he like that quite so much?

He would consider this question as he took that reward of more kissing, a soft unintended sound that approached being a full on moan, entirely distracted and spun up. Well done, Essek.]

A kitten?

[zauberdecke]

Yes...

[ He breathed, no expounding upon it even as he pressed himself closer, their bodies flush against each other while they kissed each other into another demiplane, one that was created between the two of them-- along with heat and warmth, all intrinsic and almost primal.

That too Essek liked; he'd never thought that something like this could cause nearly riotous emotions to flow through him, but here he was in the circle of Caleb's arms while he enjoyed the fruits of their mouths, the kiss reddened lips and the hum of breath that expelled right into his mouth.

Essek was also feeling the effects of their prolonged kissing in a very visceral way; and he managed to get his fingers into the abundant ginger locks of hair, to curl in them softly and carefully. Not with intended urge to tug but he could if he so wished. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[The cats in the Tower had, quite wisely, withdrawn to give the wizards their privacy -- smug in the way only cats could be at their little nudges of matchmaking having clearly been so successful. Not that Caleb noticed their absence at the moment. How could he have, when all of his senses were wrapped up in Essek Thelyss?

He stepped that much closer, arms wound around the slender drow to pull them flush to each other. Essek would, inevitably, feel the effects of the kissing on Caleb too, in the form of the growing bulge in Caleb's trousers.

There was a soft murmur of approval mostly lost to Essek's mouth as those clever fingers buried in his hair. Yes, that was lovely. More of that would be wonderful. More of everything or anything so long as it was Essek would be wonderful.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Sliding upward, sliding both their bodies together in a movement that sizzled like electricity throughout the two of them; there had always been chemistry and well, magic between them, but there was also fire and gravity as well-- both their elements, and both which they had borrowed between them back and forth as unspoken affection that they had not really wanted to admit to until now.

Essek ran a bit colder than humans, but oh goodness he could feel a fire siphon through him-- intense and hot.

He parted their lips, forehead to forehead and then spoken in a manner that was most breathless. ] You mentioned something.. about, and I hope I am not being too forward, a bedroom?

[ Because Essek was polite, and this was still new and he did not want to make demands-- but as he had dragged their clothed erections together, he had felt a jolt of awareness at the pleasure and wondered if Caleb had felt it as well. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Oh no, not too forward at all. We should... ja. Yes. The bedroom.

[Sorry, Essek. He was normally smarter than this. Really. But his entire brain had been put on standby mode so that resources could be allocated elsewhere. Because yup, oh yes, he had absolutely felt the press of Essek's prick against his own, nearly dizzied in the realization that they were both in this state.

He did his best to summon up enough wherewithal to navigate, reluctantly stepping back from the drow. Caleb couldn't quite make himself give up contact fully though, and caught Essek's hands in his own.]

This way then. We must head upwards...

[zauberdecke]

Ah yes, auf...

[ Truth of the matter, Essek held on to every single bit of knowledge to him taught by Caleb. Despite the delicate flush to his cheeks, he certainly did have the wherewithal enough to keep that contact with fingers twining within fingers. The lack of warmth was immediately noticeable as well as the beguiling flush that also rose high on the other man's cheeks.

Then he started toward the other man and pressed close to the side. ] Take me there then, yes?

[ It was cold outside, and Essek would not mind being warmed by a man like a furnace-- in fact if given the opportunity he could be quite snuggly with just the right person, and that right person? Well he was standing but a few inches away. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Auf indeed. But mm. This way, Schatz.

[Caleb couldn't help the smile at hearing Essek remembering the key word to the little trick of movement in the center of the tower. His fingers tightened securely around the drow's, leading them both to that center circle so they could make their way up to the level where Caleb had crafted sleeping arrangements.

Even when he summoned the tower for only Essek and himself, he tended to keep the general configuration he'd first crafted, with spaces carved out for each of his dearest friends so that they would feel as much a part of his temporary demiplane as they were a part of his heart. What this meant, after they'd alit on the correct tier, and he moved to lead Essek to his room, the door would open to the very sparse and severe space that he'd left for himself. There was a bed, yes, and a desk, but in so many ways it was a bit of a cell, as if a reminder to himself of what he'd done and that he hardly deserved the vibrant new family that he'd found his way into.

Perhaps, if he expected to be sharing this with Essek more often, he ought to reconsider the decoration of the room, a fact he noted as he stepped inside with his dear friend and soon to be lover.]