Saintsmourn

[giveanything]

"Bless me father, for I have sinned," the words tumbled past his lips, ingrained in the well worn pathways of his memory from the years he'd spent in catechism and as an altar boy. Not that Liam was devout anymore -- how could he be, given what he'd become, given what he did and continued to do. The confessional booth was small and dark, light filtering in only dimly through the door and its screen that kept him hidden from the sanctuary beyond and from the priest he assumed would be on the other side.

"It has been... a very long time since my last confession."

What was he doing here? This was ridiculous. He couldn't possibly expect forgiveness and absolution. There had to be true repentance for that, real contrition, and Liam knew he couldn't manage either. He hated what he did, despised every moment of it, but he wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop. The price for disobeying was far too severe, and he would not be the one to pay it. The price for his disobedience and his failure would be paid by his brother, and he couldn't live with that.

So William had made his choice, made it again and again, putting that one life ahead of so many others. And oh he was good at what he did, talented at ruining people, in shattering whatever it was in a human being that kept their souls in place, until they were ready to throw it away. His watcher commended him for it, in a sick and sadistic sort of amusement.

Today's lost soul had been... fuck. It had been hard. She was young, barely nineteen, and her road had already been a hard one. He'd played the game with her for the past few weeks, insinuating darkness and doubt into the cracks of that already-battered soul. Today. Today she'd shattered, and there would be no recovering from it. Another soul for the demon who owned him.

He could feel the panic rising up in his chest, cold and hard and threatening to freeze his lungs so he couldn't draw in enough breath. In the dimness and silence of the confessional, all the carefully constructed walls and facades trembled and fell away. Gone were the easy smiles and quite literal devil-may-care attitude, all the charisma and charm that he relied on in his cursed excuse for a job. It was him and his breathing and the silence and the faceless priest in the chamber beside him. Liam wondered if he could hear the panic in his breathing.

"I... sorry. This was a mistake. I should go. I'm sorry, Father, for wasting your time."

Comments

[giveanything]

Liam had been so long in the dark that any light at all felt near blinding, but he still wanted to bask in the glow of Riley, wanted to follow it home indeed, a lighthouse to lead him out of the storm that he'd been lost in for years. Could he be saved? From Gregory? From himself? He wasn't brave enough to give into hope just yet, but despite that a seed had been planted, had started to take root in the very depths of him.

He let his fingers curl into that waistband. "You haven't. But that's very easy to fix." And Liam would fix it here like he was opening the most thrilling gift that he'd ever been given. He tugged at those pants until he could slide them from Riley's hips, freeing the other man's arousal and letting his eyes take him in. Oh he was right. Thoroughly beautiful, all of him.

Liam could not resist letting his hand palm at the priest's prick, letting the head of his arousal drag along his palm, a smear of slick precome making the slide effortless. But he was surprised by those words, looking up at Riley in surprise that he couldn't quite hide. Liam was good at selling the lie, that everything was fine, a mask of charm and affability, as if he didn't even know the meaning of the word worry. But Riley had seen straight through him again and again.

Stepping in closer, he brushed his lips along a collarbone. "This is the happiest I've been in a long while." It was remarkable how feeling like he wasn't entirely alone, even for one night, could help.

[eblouissant]

He pressed a kiss to Liam's hand, making sure that it was a very felt tribute-- and strangely enough, for this he did not feel guilty. It felt right, like what he was meant to do, as if every single step he'd ever taken was only to lead to this.

Nothing like that camping trip before seminary, that had ladled him with guilt. There was a difference here which he was not prepared to focus on just yet.

His eyes fell shut at the reverent touch while he listened to Liam, the shivers that erupted through his body, though he tried to get himself together enough to step out of the loaned sweatpants, then he moved to sit down on the edge of Liam's bed, his hand moving to reach for it's partner.

"You... come here." He breathed with more than a bit of lovely shyness. His heart swelling with the beauty of the moment. "Though maybe you should take your pants off first..."

[giveanything]

How unfair that Riley could be so sweet and shy at the same time he was devastatingly attractive and ruining Liam's ability to think of anything that wasn't the handsome face and gentle voice of the man in front of him.

"Maybe?" A gentle teasing of his own even as he was shimmying his way out of his pants, stepping out of them and leaving where they lay to reaching out and catch Riley's hand with his, slowly and deliberately lacing their fingers together securely. Another step and he was standing between Riley's legs. His free hand found its way to brush the priest's hair back from his face so he could see him better.

He smiled then, and there was a genuine glow to it that was absent from so many of his usual expression, reaching his eyes. "You're amazing, Riley. I hope you know that."

[eblouissant]

This was near holy, the moment between the two of them-- not something carnal but almost like a religious experience-- because to Riley, it was not so much about the sex but rather the connection that they were forging together. The sex was a means to that end and to illustrate that, Riley leaned in to press a kiss against Liam's heart-- the soft tickling of chest hair that caused a glimmer to come to his eyes.

And then ceremoniously he tugged Liam to come straddle his lap, this time far more naked, where they could be thigh to thigh and chest to chest. "I am just myself and I have been myself for far longer than I can remmember." He said with a chuckle. "Do not put me on a pedestal, I would not be comfortable up there I don't think."

[giveanything]

How exactly did Riley expect Liam not to fall completely and irrevocably in love with him, doing things like that? Those lips touched his chest, and he swore he could feel the warmth from that kiss suffuse straight through him and pool in his chest, enveloping his cracked and wounded heart and reminding it how to beat.

Then he was in Riley's lap, and that was a wonderful development. Far more naked, nothing between them and he wanted to disappear entirely into the other man, as if he could wrap himself in the feeling of being wanted by someone good and gentle and kind, in the feeling of being warm and close and alive. Oh god for the first time in as far back as he could be remember, he felt alive and was grateful for it.

A low laugh of his own and he let his hands run up Riley's chest, up until he could wind his arms around his neck. "No pedestals then. I'm not really a fan of heights anyway." Riley might well be an angel, but even angels could fall. And he wouldn't want that for the other man. "And I like you right here, on the ground with me."

[eblouissant]

"Good.." he was resolved now. No guilt, not when he felt as if Liam needed this-- he wanted to touch him and kiss him tenderly, to treat his heart right. It was the most beautiful way to join like this; it was just one night but perhaps it would act as a balm between the two of them, spread over so that perhaps it would stay and it would last.

If there was anything perhaps more spellbinding than Riley resolved?

"I like it here on the ground with you as well.." he did not want to be a Priest right now, he was just a man and he loved this quirky and fractured man who answered to the same sort of speak he did, who gave he thoughtful things such as a bookcase for his cramped space, who he could see the light slowly coming back within that gaze, another soft kiss before he used is very strong swimmers legs and arms to cajole Liam onto his back, then he was perched on his side looking down at him, his own fingers sliding over pale skin.

"Not that you don't possess walking on air talents, I am sure you do." with the way that at times his heart fluttered when Liam looked at him full of adoration, leaving him to wonder if he was actually worthy of it.

[giveanything]

Just one night. Liam could not possibly grasp the extent of his own hubris in thinking that would satisfy him, that it wouldn't instead ignite something that would burn through him for the rest of his life, like an underground coal seam caught flame and left to smolder and burn until it burned itself out entirely. But he'd come to that realization and the weight of it later, somehow. One way or another.

Right now he was busier with far more immediately distracting things, with finding himself tumbled down to the bed beside the most absurdly beautiful man that he'd ever met in his life.

His fingers played slowly up Riley's forearm, over bicep and up to his shoulder, the sort of touch that was for the sake of touch alone, soft and unhurried and affectionate. A laugh escaped at that. "I possess many talents., but defying gravity isn't one of them." No wings or halo here. In fact, given that when he did eventually meet his end in this life, he was fully aware he had a pre-booked ticket on the express ride straight down to the depths of hell.

[eblouissant]

Riley could hear the rain patter on the window, the wind blow through the trees just outside. But inside it was warm and cozy, and there was the soft touch of calloused hands, of which he slowly pressed a soft kiss to once again, though he had to turn his head to graze-- and then came the soft mouth against wrist. Once they were cuddled up like this, his hand moved against the flat of chest and then downward still until he reached navel.

"This is alright?" he was checking in, even though they knew what they wanted to do.. he still had to check in to make sure everything was alright. A tip of finger started to stroke the snaking trail going downward though not yet touching intimately.

[giveanything]

There was Riley being tender and gentle again, and Liam soaked up that softness like a sun-starved flower turning towards the light as clouds finally broke. Of course, as lovely as soft was, Liam was also very interested in something hard right now.

The question was unexpected, and the surprise on Liam's face was probably obvious before he realized how far his usual mask had slipped. Something about Riley was disarming, the surety and safety of him perhaps. His stomach caved ticklishly as that finger teased just at the start of that trail of dark hair, and it took him too long to find his voice. So to start with, he nodded.

"Yeah... more than all right. I want you, Riley."

[eblouissant]

A hum underneath his breath, his eyes closed as he decided to allow his touch to paint the picture for him.

And so he did exactly that, sliding his fingers through the slightly springed hair, and then finally flesh came in contact with flesh, velvet heat that throbbed deliciously, and his thumb brushed over the flesh cockhead as it was the first thing to graze, he merely touched and did not look down.

Perhaps a part of himself was also listening for the other man's reactions, the heart-quickening.. all of those things that would draw between then like a tight tenuous line of pleasure. Ah, he knew though that the very pads of his fingers were coming back slightly slick from the moisture that lingered against the top slit.

[giveanything]

"A...ah..." Liam's voice was a breathless rush as he felt that touch at his arousal. His head fell back, eyes shut as he let himself take it all in, the way Riley's hands felt as they moved over his body, the way the other man touched him with such tenderness. It was at the border of overwhelming, but oh he wanted to leap straight across that line, to let everything about Riley -- this gorgeous, gentle, sweet man -- rush over him and overwhelm him.

His own hands were not still, fingers tracing up along Riley's chest, up to trace down along a strong shoulder. His pretty swimmer.

"Your hands are warm..." Liam purred the words, softly, even as his own fingers slipped into Riley's hair.

[eblouissant]

It made Riley quite happy that Liam was letting himself go, that he was allowing himself to be cared for after the day that he had been having. Though his hand did not lighten on shaft, rather it spread precome liberally with his fingers. And all the while he was watching the expressions dance across those features.

A smile that may have been soft even as he quickened his pace. "Well I am glad that they are warm, and that you like the touch-- I enjoy touching you like this." just one night between them, surely only one night in which they'd have to fit in everything that they wanted to do-- one night would have to be enough.

"Do you happen to have?"

Condoms, oil.. unfortunately Riley had neither on him for clearly obvious purposes.

[giveanything]

Liam's hips arched towards that touch, almost infuriating in its gentleness right now, but blissfully so. "I like it so much..." Just one night. Another whisper of that mantra in the silence at the back of his mind. One perfect, beautiful night that he'd cling to as a shield against so much, surely.

His fingers tightened in that soft blond hair before loosening, running through carefully. It took a moment for the question to filter through to his conscious mind, but he nodded. "Nightstand drawer, sweetheart."

It wouldn't be hard to find at least. Though Liam was quite bent on being distracting, leaning up to brush his lips along Riley's jaw, the point of his chin, down his neck. God he'd never wanted someone so purely and thoroughly, like some small still-shining thing at the very center of the shadows that were strangling the hope and light out of him, was pulsing and calling for this, for Riley, like the priest really could save any part of Liam from his own darkness.

[eblouissant]

A husky chuckle came from Riley's lips, especially when Liam nodded his assent; and so Riley decided to pursue that line while he shifted only a little so that he could open up the drawer; his fingers hit the lube bottle as well as protection. Alright that was excellent though he was temporarly distracted by the way that Liam was kissing against his neck-- he let out a soft little gasp at the touch.

"You are distracting me from my calling, Liam."

He meant the condom and oils, not the fact that he was straying off the path. No, he was not going to think about that at all, and he would not feel guilty about it either; he had resolved himself even as he came back and leaned over the other man, catching mouth to mouth in a searingly hot kiss that held depth within it.

[giveanything]

God Riley sounded good that husky chuckle, the gasps and those playful words. The priest shedding his priesthood and letting his guard down was an unfairly sexy state for him. Liam, at the back of his mind, realized that it was something he could very quickly become addicted to.

It was Liam's turn to laugh, just as breathy. "Mmhmm... and I'm not even sorry about it." He was enjoying his distracting quite a bit. He punctuated this with a graze of his teeth against the skin he'd just kissed. His hand wound further down now, dying to touch more, and his fingers sought out the other man's prick deliberately, quite eager to discover what he was getting himself into here, and rather hoping that he could have Riley make more pretty noises for him.

Though it was Liam who was moaning as those lips claimed his own and stole breath from him lungs and thought from his mind.

[eblouissant]

The falling upon the bed had been a very good idea, for he did not think that he had the knees to do anything that required extending walking, standing, etc. It had been easy to give up sex when it had never really been too much of big-deal for him, but he had never truly met someone that he was so very attracted to like Liam where just the laugh alone had him melting nearly between those legs.

Liam's fingers absolutely wrapped around a long and slender length, not very girth but clearly very streamlined if one was thinking pervertedly about a swimmer's body.

And it was all for Liam. At the very least Liam did not have to worry about the other man deliberating seeking experiences like this out-- it would be treated as a moment in time, precious and treasured. In response to the ministrations, he was attempting to uncap the oil bottle and promptly fumbled, getting some all over Liam's stomach. "Ack!" came the prompt muffled reply, so evidentally you had to look while you were doing things like this?

[giveanything]

Liam, in fact, was thinking pervertedly about a swimmer's body at this very moment. One particular swimmer with the prettiest eyes and sweetest smile he'd ever seen and likely would ever find in this world. He let his fingers drag down the length of that prick, palm cupping around the head, quite distracted himself at the moment.

Right until Riley ack'd and he felt the cool puddle of lube one his stomach. He drew back from the kiss just long enough to glance down. Another laugh and he leaned up to catch Riley's mouth with his own, finding it hard not to smile right into the kiss. "How the hell can you be simultaneously devastatingly sexy and fucking adorable?" It was clearly some innate talent that the priest had been given.

Fuck him he was in so much trouble.

[eblouissant]

This was something special, for some reason Riley could not get it out of his head that this was-- and despite all vows of chastity, a dynamic like this did not materialize just out of the blue; he rested his forehead against Liam's. "Well, that was an accident first of all and secondly I was attempting to uncap it so that I could.. well you know." a scandalized hiss that managed to also catch a laugh, like he was attempting to plea for his very failure.

He rose up then and settled himself on his knees before the other man, spreading a knee lightly. "Alright, let me see if I can remember how to do this." he hummed under his breath before he ran a few fingers through the puddle of oil, and then he brought his hands together in order to rub them in.

[giveanything]

Liam just laughed again, the sound low and breathless, but no less delighted for it. His hand lifted to settle against Riley's cheek for a moment, soft and tender and purely affectionate in a way that he'd never had a chance to be with someone else, someone he wanted -- needed -- so fully and purely.

"Mmhmm. So you can fuck me with those gorgeous fingers, so I can have you inside me..." Like he needed so deeply that he thought he might go insane with it.

He shifted his thighs wider apart, smiling as he heard those words. He had some faith in Riley figuring it out.

[eblouissant]

Did that explicitly dirty talk make the good Father blush? Okay, a little bit-- he had never in his life been talked to like that, but he found that he was not nearly as scandalized and perhaps that was the delight and also perhaps that he felt something more with regards to Liam, his heart absolutely stuttering in his chest.

His fingers did graze against balls, very soft and light and each stroke caused the other man's skin to glisten suggestively, it was like painting.

With the human body. Then his hand found the sweet hole betwween legs and he with a fingertip started to rub against ridged flesh.

[giveanything]

Blushing Riley was adorable, and Liam was not at all discouraged from the dirty talk. In fact he might have looked a little too pleased with himself at the moment. One thing that would inevitably come to light was that Liam was far better at saying filthy things that he was at speaking about his actual feelings. Emotions were dangerous things to let a demon catch a glimpse of, and he'd learned quick to bury them down as deep as they could go lest he show a weakness that could be exploited.

Something about his priest though, did something to those carefully crafted defenses, sending them scattering like so many dandelion seeds on the wind.

His breath caught at the gentle touch of those fingers in such intimately sensitive places. "Riley... Please?"

[eblouissant]

And conversely it was perhaps the opposite for Riley, it was easier for him to speak of feelings then of sexual matters like these, perhaps because he was someone who survived upon feelings-- he did not care much for meaningless experiences but this.. this had meaning, he knew he cared deeply for this man and that? Well that made it okay.

A finger slipped in at the please, still pink but trying to work with assiduous focus. Deep his finger spread into Liam, digit carefully sliding up against walls. He chanced a glance down at Liam, to check in for any sort of discomfort-- or even more importantly making sure that the other man's experience remained pleasurable with no memories coming into play of an earlier point in the evening.

[giveanything]

Liam had never been in love, so maybe it wasn't surprising that he didn't have that word to put to this, to what this feeling of being pulled into the priest's aura, straight into the heart of him, wanting to burrow into that warmth and light -- or well, wanting to but being certain that he'd only taint him if he allowed himself to get too close.

One night. That was all it could be. That mantra again, still trying to convince himself, to ignore the pang of loss at the thought.

It was easier to sink into the moment, into the way it felt as Riley's fingers worked him open. His eyes fluttered half shut, lips parting around a soft, encouraging sound. There was no discomfort, and everything about this was so different than Gregory, another universe away from it entirely. The demon was never concerned with Liam's comfort or pleasure -- well except when he wanted to make a point that he could make Liam 'enjoy' it -- only his own, was never careful or gentle with him.

He noticed Riley looking though, and smiled a hazy little smile at him. "It feels good."

[eblouissant]

The feeling was mutual, except Riley knew that it was love that he felt-- it felt delicate and beautiful; it was in those glimmering eyes that managed to speak to every part of his soul. So he allowed himself the opportunity to savor-- perhaps Liam may have wanted him more and more but Riley thought that this would be the only time so he desired to savor it. It was not just about making the other man fell pleasure, though it was also his main goal.

Deeper his finger surged within, and then another to join it.. starting to fuck him in earnest while he pressed opened mouth kisses against that smile, he wanted to inhale him until he came apart.

No confessions of love, but he felt it and it radiated deep within even as he angled his fingers to press upon that spot.

[giveanything]

Liam would figure it out. He was a reasonably intelligent man, and he'd fallen so completely for Riley that it would be painfully obvious when he allowed himself to consider it. Right now though thinking beyond the immediate moment was impossible. His entire world had been distilled down to the space that existed between him and his priest.

His back arched as those fingers went questing and found their quarry. He moaned a husky, breathy sound to that kiss, his hands sinking into Riley's hair, gripping at soft blond tresses as he leaned up to try to devour his lips entirely.