"Broken Shards"

[zauberdecke]

"In the dark
I need to taste the blood
Go on, draw another line
We can cross this time."
- Blindfold by Sleeping Wolf

---



[ Essek Thelyss: Shadowhand to the Dynasty.

One who reached further then the Luxon would allow, who would do absolutely anything for knowledge. Oh no, the man did not care for power, not really. He wanted to cast himself into the portal of knowing, he wanted to surrender himself to books and learning without having to deal with the mundanities of socio-politics that all of the Kryn engaged in. It was tedious and it filled him with sickness even as he plastered on an urbane smile for all and sundry to see.

Within the Dynasty, it was customary to take pets of the Empire; they were brought in across the border of Asarius, across the mountains and into the Dynasty. There were Dynasty born pets on the other side, both lost to the ravages of the other's civilization, generally never to be seen again.

Essek had never really had an interest to begin with when it came to pets; at the market he carefully avoided the slave blocks where those not of the Dynasty were paraded around. However, it had come to this-- it had come to his trading of the Beacon, and in return he recieved a Volstrucker to serve him. And yet, for all of that, Essek Thelyss had not thought he would receive a broken Volstrucker.

In fair trade, he and recieved a dossier on the man in question and had perused it with only a small semblance of annoyance while Trent Ikithon had assured him that a man like him could be rebuilt, the honeyed words of a silken snake which Essek recognized.

After all did not a predator recognize another predator? So now he held in his household a man whom had to be guarded carefully, though Essek was not cruel despite how he imagined Dynasty pets were treated, the cage that he had placed this Volstrucker named Bren within, well it was comfortable-- he'd seen pictures of Vergossen so he supposed it must be far better than that place. But he had not precisely interacted with him-- most of his unseen servants were given the walking of him, the care and maintenance of him.

Perhaps because he did not precisely know what to do with him, or what use he had for something broken. Though he arguably did not know what manner of broken the Volstrucker was, but after a week-- he decided perhaps it was time to summon him and see for himself; acertain what sort of work was cut out for him.

If this man was worth putting back together again.

So it was one evening, he had the Empire man summoned to his chambers. ]

Comments

[ausgebrannt]

No, kind is not a word he understands. And I was blind to so much of it, for the chance to serve the Empire. Knowledge, power... they are seductive things in the right hands.

[He wandered closer to Essek as he spoke, though there was a far away note in his voice as the words slipped free.]

His training methods were painful. Deprived of sleep and food and warmth. Heads shaved and our clothing replaced with simple robes. There were three of us he chose that year. We were kept isolated from the rest of our peers. He experimented on us to augment our abilities...

[He unconsciously rubbed a hand over a forearm before he added, quieter.] But all of that... my own suffering is not important. I would not despise him for that. I deserve the consequences of my choices. Those are not the things that broke me.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek listened to this, but not only that but he percieved that which Bren communicated via gestures- the rubbing of the forearms, the way that the mind seemed to close in on itself and how it touched those features. It was trauma and he recognized it, he had felt it and could recognize at least the surface signs of damage even if he did not know how far down the iceberg ran.

There was a price outside of Bren's dignity, was the first thought that pierced through his psyche. A strong swirl of protectiveness filled him where he wanted to gather the other man up. Instead he clicked his tongue for Bren to come closer, to kneel down beside the chair.

The books were gathered and could be taken by the unseen servants. ]

There is always a price when you surrender yourself to others-- it is easier to face hubris when it is self-inflicted then if others do it to one. [ and he thought of those who looked down on him for not being consecuted ]

[ausgebrannt]

I am responsible for my own sins. I know this. My hands can never be clean.

[He did surrender to Ikithon. And he'd been a child. But that didn't matter. He should have known better, should have seen some sign, should have recognized the mistakes before it was too late.

Before the spark had been lit.

He was in motion at the first sound of that click of Essek's tongue, dropping to his knees beside where his master was seated, looking up to him, an uncertainty in his eyes that was rare when he interacted with the drow.]

I will tell you, if you wish to know. I will tell you the worst that I have done and how I was broken. I will not blame you if you choose to discard me.

[zauberdecke]

[ A indulgent smile of pleasure at how readily Bren moved in to obey his commands, his fingers moving to gently card through his Pet's hair as if it were finely spun threads of fire. Although, as those words came-- tumbled right out from those lips as if they were tripping over themselves.

He did not know what happened in the past, he was curious but one truth rang out above them all and he spoke them quiet plainly, the ones that felt right. ]

I will not lie and say that I am not curious, because I am but for all that I own your body, your mind is yours and I will not command you to speak something that you find painful unless you choose to speak them. [ His gestures were soft and gentle, a softly hypnotic pass through of fingers through hair. ] It is the one place that I will not claim ownership of--

[ So very unlike Trent Ikithon, of which no place was safe-- not even the mind. But here was Essek saying that he would never infiltrate that private space of Bren's, never twist it or warp it for his own nefarious purposes. What Bren thought, was his and his alone, and he would not gatekeep that. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Obeying -- especially when it was obeying that beck and call to his master's presence, when it was met with the reward of soft, gentle touch, that Bren could almost pretend was affection -- was a simple matter, and quickly becoming second nature. He tilted his head into that hand, Essek's touch-starved kitten seeking out more contact, more attention.

His breath caught as Essek spoke, as if the words themselves could steal the air from his lungs with the gravity of what his master was promising. The Shadowhand may have been caught up in working with Ikithon, but he was nothing like Bren's former mentor and tormentor.]

You are kinder than he was. Than he is.

[Maybe it was because Essek had not commanded him to speak it that it was easier to say, that he continued speaking, even if his voice had gone quieter, pain and fear in the memory roiling up and stealing any strength in his voice.]

He manipulated my mind, planted false memories and suggestions with magic. He fabricated a reality where my parents were traitors plotting against the Empire, and he told me that I knew what must be done with traitors.

[The only traitor had ever been Ikithon, the entire Cerebrus Assembly perhaps, interested in only their own fortunes and power and motivations.]

I barred the door to my family home while my mother and father were inside. I set the house to burning. The sound of their screaming made it through Ikithon's magical manipulations. But it was too late. I killed them. My mother and my father, who had committed no crime except to love and trust an unworthy son.

[And quieter still.] That is my last clear memory for a decade, until another inmate at the Sanitarium finally rid my mind of Trent Ikithon's magic and restored my sanity. I was caught in my attempt to escape.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek listened to this, something in his chest felt painful as he listened. He did not know what it was but he knew the gravity and seriousness of it; he never stopped his strokes against the locks of flashfire hair while he attempted to soothe even though he had not the faintest how to. It made him despise Ikithon just as much as Bren despised Adeen-- perhaps even moreso.

So you would want revenge against him?

[ And then his brows furrowed as he considered his next words. ]

Once he gives me what I need, he is expendable-- and the Dynasty would be none the wiser. [ Was this an offer to kill Ikithon for all the pain that he put a pet he suddenly grew so very attached to. It was an offer to handle him, to give vengeance to the voiceless. ] He is a old man filled with his own ego, with no thought toward the overaching narrative or the boundless knowledge attainable. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren wanted to say that the world would be a better place without Trent Ikithon in it. That more and more foolish children are broken until they become his perfect weapons, put through the old bastard's crucible of suffering and anguish. He wanted to say that he had higher ideals than simply vengeance. And all those things may also be true, but no truer than,]

Ja. I would. I want to see him dead. He deserves worse than death, but death would do.

[His eyes widen as his master continues, as Essek... was that an offer? Bren's heart slammed against his chest.]

He cares about power and his own vanities, this is true.

[Quieter, voice barely above a whisper.] You would... you would offer this? For me?

[zauberdecke]

I was not aware of how much of a problem Trent Ikithon truly was until you've told me all of the ways in which he has gross abused others underneath him. [ This was matter of fact as he spoke it, looking at the hope in those eyes, the faint sparkle in those eyes that shone like the Lucidian Sea. He wanted his Pet to smile, to be happy and he was never more aware of it then this moment as Bren sat there amid the stacks of tomes and shelves of leather-bound volumes; he would do this for Bren. ]

But he is also a problem for myself what with the knowledge that the Luxon possesses. His purpose is to unlock the Luxon in a way that escapes detection, in a way that does not draw the attention of the Priestesses of the Luxon.

[ His voice is calm and collected. ]

Once the Luxon is opened, I will need to claim it back before Trent is allowed too much scrutiny into it, he would use it for his own selfish purposes whereas I only wish to understand it and the secrets that it holds within it. I do not care for wars and weapons, I just want knowledge.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren had already let himself give in headlong to the loyalty and devotion for his mater, but now at the way his chest aches at Essek's touch, at his words, at being close to the drow and looking up at him, into those galaxy-bright eyes, he wondered if it wasn't becoming something more. He would, of course, be an utter idiot to fall in love with the man who owned him.

But here he was; he knew he was falling. A fool. He would not try to resist it though, couldn't have even if he wanted to. Bren shifted to lean forward, forehead against Essek's lap. It was a touch he'd apparently decided, generally, that he was bold enough for, that he might be permitted.]

You are clever and powerful, more than he could hope to be... but I do not want to see you hurt. He can be dangerous. And the Volstrucker are fanatically loyal to him. I do not know if there is anything I can offer, but if I can help... I want to be of use to you.

[zauberdecke]

[ There was sweet intimacy in this moment between then, like a knight pledging troth to his lady. The drow read that in the gestures, it felt strangely fairytale-like and almost whimsical-- something that he was not sure he wholly believed in. But the forehead against his knee was accepted and the words were studied carefully, after all who knew Trent Ikithon better than his 'broken' protege, a protege that he broke himself.

And yet Essek saw the possibility in him, saw the ways in which he could piece Bren back together even more beautifully, edging all of the cracks in golden starlight until it stood even more perfect than it had been.

And yet, Essek could not see a future in which he was hurt by Trent Ikithon, yes-- the man was clever but so was Essek. But likewise the drow would not make any attempt without a plan. ]

You have knowledge of him, that will provide assistance enough for me-- but it is all I will ask of you, is that knowledge because I do not want you hurt as well and ah, I am confident in my abilities; his mind is also weak and warped from years of his hubris.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren hummed a quiet sound of affirmation at that. He did have knowledge of the monster of a man, and he would share all of it with Essek. All that he knew was at his master's disposal. For a long moment he stayed where he was, eyes shut, head resting against his leg, even as his mind raced.

He knew Essek had every reason to be confident, that the Shadowhand to the Bright Queen had not gotten that position by accident or by any favor. No. The other man was a gifted wizard. Though Bren had only seen him cast mundane spells, there was no mistaking how elegantly and fluidly the Dunamancer wielded the arcane. It was poetry.

A moment later, he lifted his head to look up at his master. I do not want you hurt as well. Why were those words such a surprise? They were though, and Bren couldn't help the words that slipped from his lips next.]

I was meant to be a weapon. I could still be one. For you.

[That unrelenting need to be worth the kindness and trouble. To be of use for this complicated, beautiful, brilliant man. What was the point of him without some use, without some way of atoning for all he'd done.]

[zauberdecke]

[ The look in those eyes, they spoke volumes in sincerity and he was once again overtaken by how Bren could look at him with those eyes, as if he was worth defending.. protecting. There were parts of him that held value, but he had grasped that value for himself and proven to those around that he did not need to be consecuted.

The damage had already been done though and bitterness still festered because he knew that without all of that, he was worth nothing. A truly harsh pill to swallow for himself-- and it was what kept that pain within, kept him looking out only for himself. ]

You could be my weapon....?

[ Now he wanted to know what this man was capable of. The fact that Bren had the limiter off his neck and yet still he remained docile was a wonder in and of itself. Bren had an opportunity, several with which to take him down and run for freedom and yet he did not.

Perhaps Essek had already known that he could trust the ex-Volstrucker; even more so after hearing the recounting of his past and the terrible things he had done, things that if he chose.. could do to him. ] You could, if you desire that.

[ Quietly though-- ] The time is not now, the Luxon is not so easy to crack up.. we likely have a few years left until that happens, there is much time to prepare but also much time to change your mind about your devotion toward me.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would show him, now that he'd been freed from that collar. He'd refrained from any magic save that one small demonstration at their first meeting. He hadn't wanted to give Essek any cause to think that removing that awful silencing collar had been a mistake. With each day that passed, each moment that went by, it grew even more inconceivable that he'd ever consider trying to run away or ever raise a finger against his master.

No, Essek had it right. Here was Bren on his knees in front of him, pledging fealty and loyalty, devotion and protection. Whatever Essek wanted of him, if it were in his power, Bren would willingly lay it at his master's feet.

A surprised lift of his eyebrows at the idea of somehow changing his mind. Did Essek not understand that he had already indelibly carved himself into Bren's battered, broken little heart? The failed Volstrucker would quite literally walk through fire for the drow. It defied logic perhaps, but maybe it was fate, an unseen string that had pulled them together bound them in this strange but undeniable connection.

Another moment of boldness, before he could think better of it, Bren reached out to take one of his master's hands in both of his own, gentle and reverent, leaning in to press his lips to the back of his knuckles. A promise.]

I will not change my mind. And even if I did... there will be no changing my heart, I'm afraid, Master. It's far more stubborn.

[zauberdecke]

[ There had been that moment of flustering the last time that Bren had done something that had been indelibly sweet and full of earnest tribute, this time he knew to better expect it, to better compose himself. But there was still the barest hint of a sparkle of gold in his eyes, as if the eyes recognized his mate. He did not think of that in such terms, he did not normally ascribe to the concept of mate as he found it rather archaic held within stories of the Underdark and the mating rituals that defined a species near far removed from the drow.

Save for special cases.

The glow at the touch of lips to the back of his palm, the meeting of the eyes that caused his own heartbeat to quicken underneath his fine clothing, even further underneath ripcage where it rang out something that filled his senses. ]

Then you will be my weapon however I promise to take care of you properly in a way that respects the power and beauty of your very being. [ That was a promise just as Bren had made his own-- and to punctuate that, his fingers tucked a lock of hair behind Bren's ear after the sweetness of smoothing the hair backwards. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Even if Bren were aware that was a possibility, it never would have crossed his mind. He could be a pet, yes. A curiosity and a diversion. A weapon. A tool for pleasure. Whatever Essek would like him to be. But at the end of the day, still a broken possession, and that would be enough for Bren.

His heart was racing too, and he let his touch linger, holding that hand -- fingers so smooth and soft and cool in his own warmer, calloused fingers.

The gravity of those words spoken in turn, they catch his breath in his throat and throw his heart into disarray.]

I will be whatever you wish me to be... whatever I may be.

[So long as he was allowed to stay by him.]

[zauberdecke]

[ they both were utterly oblivious to the red threads that bound them together irrevocably, especially Essek who did not know nor understand the heart's call. What he did know was that there was something that being Bren's master that spoke to him, made him content in a way that felt surprising.

His fingers cupped a cheek, felt the prickle of facial hair there and stroked lightly-- as if Bren needed another reason to fall. ] Let us talk no more of sacrifice, hopefully that time is far and away.

[ The unseen servants were already scooping the books up to whisk back toward Essek's room
]

My wing is my sanctuary so I hope you feel the same about it-- further good behavior will earn more visits...[ and also being lavished tender affection upon, such as he was doing right now-- soft and rhythmeic with the most loving touch of fingers while he reveled in the fact that this was his pet to touch and caress. ]

Shall we retire to bed then?

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren melted into that touch, eyes dropping mostly shut, a slow-motion blink like he'd been possessed by the spirit of the cats he'd always been fond of, content and feeling safe in a way he as still not used to. No, he did not need more reasons to fall, but they kept appearing and making his plummet all the more certain.

A slight nod of agreement, not enough to dislodge that touch if he could avoid it. Essek was right. There was time between now and that eventually then.

Bed, however, sounded like the most incredible idea that he had ever heard. He'd dozed briefly against his master's leg in his office, but that had not made up for the utter lack of sleep the night before.]

Yes please, Master. Sleep would be very welcome.

[Though he'd also be very happy to fall asleep just like this with Essek's fingers petting against his skin.]

no lie, random gave me this icon

[zauberdecke]

[ They were both falling irrevocably. For Essek it was that flip in his stomach, the tenderness that he felt overwhelmingly as he looked up Bren, as he heard him speak-- as he wanted to make Trent Ikithon rue every single thing that he had done to his Pet, as if he had owned him even before they had met.

And maybe? He had--

Instead, Essek would be such a good Master and that would evidence itself in the way that he quietly arranged Bren's life to be as comfortable and as pampered as possible, though with a healthy amount of punishment as was needed to assuage Bren's own overriding guilt issues. He slowly got up and then he grasped that had that was entwined with his own and slowly tugged Bren upward but it was perhaps a bit closer, and far more intimate than he had anticipated.

But a single breath between them and their bodies would become flush. ]

Ah sleep, yes... you did not sleep well last night because of--

random icon button clearly ships it

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren was no believer in fate or destiny, but fate seldom cared whether or not it was believed in anyway when it decided whose lives to play in anyway. Maybe someday he'd try to piece together the odd twists of chance and event that had brought him here, to where this moment where he felt so strangely as if he were where he belonged.

With the man he belonged to.

That tug at his hand was enough to have him rising to his feet. He hadn't expected to be so close either though, found himself frozen as if caught once more by the magical spell that was Essek Thelyss. His eyes went wide, a near silent hitch in his breath. Then Essek spoke and Bren's expression softened into a smile, that spark of playfulness lighting up in his eyes ever so faintly.]

I did not. Because of... [Well. Because of his own vivid imagination and the fact that his Master had bewitched him fully, body and soul. Bren melted in closer, taking that last breadth of the breath between them.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Because of thoughts of.. of him.

Heat was radiating between the two of them and Essek had never felt more powerless in his life to stop this gravity. He, who had studied gravity his entire life, was suddenly caught up in its tides despite all of his best observational behaviors, his fingers moved upward but only so that he could clench in the fabric of Bren's sleep shirt and then his eyes cast upwards to a mouth curved ever so playfully, a mouth that was in near tasting distance.

He had never wanted to kiss someone before quite like he did with Bren.

And that was a Pandora's box in which he was not quite certain what would be released. This box could hold something or nothing, but it was a gamble that he was attempting to weigh the costs or benefits of resisting. ]

I've never been with another and actually enjoyed it.

[ Thus giving Bren all the window that he needed into the direction of Essek's mind, that he to felt that pull and attraction. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[That hand gripped at his sleep shirt and Bren could feel the way his heart tried to leap through his chest as if it could reach those fingers physically. It was hard to remember to breathe in any sort of regular rhythm, and it all had to do with that wild and inappropriate surge of hope that seemed to find him with every new sliver of touch and proximity.

Essek was not the only one thinking of kissing, or whose attention was stolen by the idea. Bren watched his master's lips form those words as if he had to see their shape to truly believe they'd been spoken, not for what they said exactly so much as what they admitted without speaking.

His hand lifted as well, fingertips brushing along the inside of Essek's wrist, where those fingers gripped at fabric.]

Perhaps they weren't the right persons.

[Not that he was special, but he was smitten, and perhaps that mattered.]

I would not want to do anything you did not enjoy.

[zauberdecke]

I do not believe you would--

[ He'd seen firsthand his Pet's eagerness to please him in whatever manner he was allowed; he'd heard the words and seen the way that the other man built his entire being on being good for him. He closed his eyes for a moment as he considered the paths before him, as if he could use Fortune's Favor to see the possibility, but he could not look in the future but a few moments so perhaps it would've been a moot point.

There was the slightest bit of a gulp and then very quietly, Essek raised himself on tiptoe and then he very carefully brushed his lips against Bren's in a contact that was nearly tangible in how it pulsed with a current of attraction. Something raw that set off a spark within him, as if he was being transmuted by the merest chaste contact.

And yet there was all the hesitancy of someone who had not the experience of kissing-- kissing with the reckoning of waves as they washed through him akin to arcs of energy that surged between them. If this electricity existed between them, what would happen when they approached the lowest common denominator? ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Such a small, chaste brush of lips, but it pulsed through Bren like the foundations of his existence were affected, reshaping themselves as if understanding some greater truth of reality for that one, blissful moment that he felt his master's lips on his own. A soft catch of breath, and Bren shifted just enough to prolong that contact, not pushing for any more than he was being freely given, but oh it was better than he had been brave enough to dream.

His hand found its way until he could graze the back of his knuckles along the line of the drow's jaw, thumb caressing at the point of his chin.

Perhaps this was a dream. Perhaps sleep deprivation had won out, and he'd fallen into some fantasy-filled slumber. It felt real though, exquisite but fragile in the way of a newly formed thing, still defining its shape.]

[zauberdecke]

[ There was no internal debate about it; he had thought he would have some conundrum where he had to decide in further detail if he liked what was happening with their lips together. Come to find out, there was no thought involved-- he enjoyed it and he wanted more of those kisses; he wasn't even entirely sure if one kissed their Pets.. on the lips.

At this moment, he was not inclined to spare a care nor thought to that rumination.

His mouth drew back a second for breath before finally he wedged his lips against Bren's-- this time far more firmly and with a hint of seeking. But there was no one to see this and what happened between the two of them only concerned the two of them and there was no chance that Adeen could come in and spoil it as those wards had been put into place years ago. Taste, yes-- taste.. he wanted taste and so his mouth parted and the barest graze of tongue assaulted Bren's lower lip.

Permission.

He was asking permission, when he could've demanded. It would've been wihtin his right to do so. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[The first kiss broke and Bren was missing it already. Then his master's lips were back on his own, less tentative, that unmistakable spark of something like heat and hunger, and Bren lost a soft, grateful noise into that kiss. No, there wasn't a great deal of thought for Bren either. Instinct and desire had the upper hand, and he saw no sense in trying to pretend he could resist either of those inner drives.

Or that he could resist Essek, in any way. Still, he recognized that seeking permission for what it was, and he was happy to give it, eager to yield and give the other man anything that he had in him to give. Lips parted in entreaty, another low murmur that sounded suspiciously like please though there was no real conscious language there.

He wanted more. He wanted to know the taste of his master's mouth, to know what it felt like to be tasted in turn.]