"Broken Shards"

[zauberdecke]

"In the dark
I need to taste the blood
Go on, draw another line
We can cross this time."
- Blindfold by Sleeping Wolf

---



[ Essek Thelyss: Shadowhand to the Dynasty.

One who reached further then the Luxon would allow, who would do absolutely anything for knowledge. Oh no, the man did not care for power, not really. He wanted to cast himself into the portal of knowing, he wanted to surrender himself to books and learning without having to deal with the mundanities of socio-politics that all of the Kryn engaged in. It was tedious and it filled him with sickness even as he plastered on an urbane smile for all and sundry to see.

Within the Dynasty, it was customary to take pets of the Empire; they were brought in across the border of Asarius, across the mountains and into the Dynasty. There were Dynasty born pets on the other side, both lost to the ravages of the other's civilization, generally never to be seen again.

Essek had never really had an interest to begin with when it came to pets; at the market he carefully avoided the slave blocks where those not of the Dynasty were paraded around. However, it had come to this-- it had come to his trading of the Beacon, and in return he recieved a Volstrucker to serve him. And yet, for all of that, Essek Thelyss had not thought he would receive a broken Volstrucker.

In fair trade, he and recieved a dossier on the man in question and had perused it with only a small semblance of annoyance while Trent Ikithon had assured him that a man like him could be rebuilt, the honeyed words of a silken snake which Essek recognized.

After all did not a predator recognize another predator? So now he held in his household a man whom had to be guarded carefully, though Essek was not cruel despite how he imagined Dynasty pets were treated, the cage that he had placed this Volstrucker named Bren within, well it was comfortable-- he'd seen pictures of Vergossen so he supposed it must be far better than that place. But he had not precisely interacted with him-- most of his unseen servants were given the walking of him, the care and maintenance of him.

Perhaps because he did not precisely know what to do with him, or what use he had for something broken. Though he arguably did not know what manner of broken the Volstrucker was, but after a week-- he decided perhaps it was time to summon him and see for himself; acertain what sort of work was cut out for him.

If this man was worth putting back together again.

So it was one evening, he had the Empire man summoned to his chambers. ]

Comments

[zauberdecke]

[ There was something decidedly wrong and the moment that Bren looked up with unfocused eyes to stare at him, Essek knew-- could see it in the blue-cold lips and the skin that was so pale that it retained no warmth. His heart went as cold as his Pet looked and then he started.

His hand went reflexively to his stomach, a subconscious gesture. ] You need a healer, I will have one sent for immediately.

[ The drow did not want to leave Bren though so he crawled underneath the covers, and lamented the fact that body was not a furnace. ] Hold on to me, Bren-- maybe I can make you warmer love.

[ He called out a command in Undercommon which was promptly followed. ] When did you start feeling like this? [ Essek wanted to determine what it was because he was a problem solver. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[A healer was probably a good idea. Essek was here now. It was comfort, just the presence of his Master. It washed over him, softer than the cold, and he curled into Essek. His Master calling him by his name caught his attention too, the note of worry in the drow's voice.

He didn't want to worry him.

But something was wrong, and he knew it. He was not a stupid man, and he could feel himself slipping away.]

This... this afternoon. [A frown, and a soft whimper he tried to stifle back.] After lunch.

[zauberdecke]

[ Oh, how Essek worried especially when Bren was so very cold; and he wished desperately for the healer to get here now, in fact the healer needed to be here five minutes ago as far as the drow was concerned. He shifted so that he could wrap his arms tightly around him, as if the gravity of his embrace could stop the shivers from going out of control.

His mind thought of just before lunch, but he found it hard to focus because of Bren right here and now-- his mind wanted to focus on the other man, his Mate. Inside him surged an almost violent protective streak as he held the Empire Man close. ] Bren, you cannot close your eyes-- keep looking at me alright?

[ Essek was also not stupid and the tone of Bren had shifted, that fire of warmth gone, estinguished and he felt the world grow colder; damn it he could not warm him? How could he warm him when he was not a creature of flames? A nearly potent twist of desperation settled in his stomach while he held him, he buried his lips in hair and it was instinctually intimate. ]

The healer will he here soon, Bren? What will make you warmer? Should I have a fire lit? [ If Essek could've lit himself on fire to provide that vital warmth, he would've-- and gladly ]

[ausgebrannt]

Yes, Master...

[A soft mumble of the words, even as he tried to force his lips to form the sounds. The shivering was not abating but there was comfort in those arms wrapped so securely around him.]

I will try.

[Gods would he try. He found with a sort of startled surprise that he genuinely wanted to live, did not want to die and leave Essek. Not here and not now and not like this. He'd half wished for death after what he'd done to his family, had been certain he did not deserve each breath he took. But oh he wanted to stay.

It just didn't seem like that was going to happen.]

I do not think a fire will help.

[A trembling hand with ice cold fingers reached up to brush along Essek's cheek.]

Just stay close? I do not want to be alone when I... [A pause and he added, quieter.] I do not want to be alone.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek heard what Bren did not say, and that was the most heartrending thing in the world, he could feel the tears start the moment the cold translated into a brush against his skin-- and the look in those eyes.

Desperation seized him, wild and unbidden as his fingers caught his Pets. ] I command you to keep your eyes open, you would not dare, you would not dare leave me--

[ Punishment, he could not punish him for this-- instead his own heart would bear that and he would be left to clean up the mess of it as it shattered. If he could not hold him any tighter, he tried anyways. ] You are M'hrandii, my mate-- you cannot...

[ Tears started and they would not stop, a soft sprinkling as he continued. ] I love you... you have to hold on for me, please. A healer will be here soon.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren could feel a sharp pang in his chest where his slowing heart ached at the sight of those tears. He would have brushed them away with icy fingertips, but then his hand was caught up in Essek's and he curled his own fingers through the drow's, holding with as much strength as he could muster.

Bluish lips twitched into an attempt at a smile, though it didn't entirely make it into those eyes, blue eyes that seemed to be gazing farther into the distance with each shaking breath. A silent sob at those words, and tears rose and fell, but they turned to trails of ice, like frost spreading over glass windows on a winter morning.]

I do not want to leave you...I do not want to...

[He did not want to let go, but he knew his body was succumbing to whatever had a hold of him, whatever had been done to him.]

I want to stay with you. Always.. I want... I love you too, so much... I love...

[Silence stole the rest of the words from his lips, no breath left in his lungs to bear them out into the wider world. He went still, too still, no breath, heart frozen in between beats. His eyes stared off into something beyond this world, open and unblinking, the last of the light gone out of them.]

[zauberdecke]

[ In slow motion he watched the only man he had ever cared about draw his last breath, and his heart seized a sort of panic that threatened to tsunami through him. His fingers tightened and he brought the man close to him, the cold body, the frozen man which he buried his face in those locks of hair as rough and absolutely desolate sobs rolled through him.

No, this could not be-- his Mate-- what would he do without his mate? He could not, not after just figuring out that they were mates. A drow's lifespan was long, and two months was but a drop in the bucket-- too soon.

His fingers curled tightly into unfeeling skin and he sat there and whimpered, a harsh flurry of sobs as he held on and wouldn't let go. He was there thirty minutes when the healer came, and when she entered-- he looked up sharply, frozen tears upon his cheek as he growled. ]

Fix him, make him better.

[ The healer looked to the rigid man in the Shadowhands arms and and said with a trembling breath. ] ~It is against the laws of the Luxon, it is forbidden to resurrect an Outlander~

[ The growl grew even more intense. ]

Bring him back, or I swear to whatever gods above that I will destroy the world and everything in it, I command it as Shadowhand of the Bright Queen.

[ The Healer still seemed hesitant to which point Essek placed his free hand on his stomach and continued on. ] I will take responsibility for it, you were clearly coerced.

[ For a moment the Healer looked to Essek's stomach, as if considering and then she stepped forward and said quietly. ] ~I will ressurect him... if anyone were to suspect..~

I will keep my word--

~Please step back then-- [ And so Essek did, reluctantly letting go so that the Healer could start her ritual. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren slipped into darkness, into cold, but the last thing he knew, the last thought in his mind was that he was in Essek's arms, and it was unfair that he had to leave them. He didn't want to go. His Master looked so sad...

Eventually cold faded to nothing.

Beyond eventually the nothingness gave way to the start of something warm, a soft light, a gentle crepuscular glow. Then the sound of someone humming, light and quiet and familiar. Bren's eyes opened and he found himself looking at a face he had not seen since he was a boy. Una Ermendrud smiled and pulled Bren into her arms.]

Oh Bren. You're here too soon, little spark.

[Bren heard himself sob, wrapping his arms around her and clinging tightly.] Mother... Mother I'm so sorry, I... I missed you... I didn't mean...

[A soft shushing sound and Bren found himself being urger closer.] Shh... it's all right. We've missed you too. Our darling boy. You've grown up so much. Look at you. But now isn't the right time. You have so much more to do. So much more to be.

[Bren started to shake his head. He knew he was dead. He remembered. But he remembered Essek too, remembered the pain on his Master's face, remembered the ache of hearing those words. He... gods help him he didn't want to leave him.] I can't...

I know. He needs you. And you need him. [And her granddaughter would need both of them. Another smile and his mother pressed a kiss to his forehead.] Listen. He's calling.

[A faintly confused furrow of his brow, but there it was. Through the stillness and silence. A voice. A pull, the tether between him and the world of the living not quite severed entirely. Not yet.]

[zauberdecke]

[ The ritual was the Healer calling upon the Light of the Luxon, a swirling mass. Essek who did not believe in gods, did not believe in the Luxon understood that there was a power, but he was not precisely certain that it was the gods that spoke, he watched with one hand over his stomach protectively and without knowing.

A swirl of light wrapped around the other man and he watched with baited breath.

A thaw started as the burning light engulfed and swirled around Bren, starting at the heart, a thawing of heat and light that rippled outwards to fall backwards toward limbs and ever outward, placing a trail of heat to slowly unfrost the man and to strengthen the tether and to cement it. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[The scene around him began to fade, and for a moment he looked at his mother frantically. He had so much left to say, but he knew he had to go back. He wanted to go back, to see those tears dried from his Master's -- his mate's -- eyes. Una seemed to know, embracing her son one last, lingering moment before releasing him.]

Go. Little spark. Be happy.

[Darkness found him again, but it was kinder this time, and he woke once more to warmth, a spring thaw that slowly dissipated the ice. Skin gone cold and pale and tinged with blue began to warm, a slow flush taking the place of the deathly cold. He fell back into himself, and lips parted around a gasp of breath before blue eyes opened in bleary confusion, like rising from the middle of a vivid dream.]

[zauberdecke]

[ The moment that Bren drew his very first breath, Essek felt his entire heart settle back in his body; he could not help the mere frantic way that he scrambled to Bren's side, his body falling against his pet as he wrapped his arms around those shoulders and then buried his face in that neck.

A rough sob that felt like a cataclysm as he wrapped around the other man as tightly as would allow. His hands moving to stroke through locks of red hair and his own whispered sobs over and over. ] Love you, love you.. love you.

[ It was a litany, a desperate litany as he endeavored to hold on and never let go; he felt glowing like a star shower and his heart full of possibility. ]

[ The Healer stood back to watch this reunion. ] ~The child within you will grow with both mother and father~

[ausgebrannt]

[The world came back into view, and the Zemnian wizard focused on the only part of it that mattered. Essek was there and those arms were around him, and his second breath was full of his Master's familiar scent, and his arms moved to clutch at him, to shut his eyes and turn to bury his face against the side of Essek's head.

Alive. And those fingers were in his hair and those sweet words were falling with those sobs into his shoulder. His arms tightened around him, murmuring softly.]

I am here. I have you. It is all right. My love...

[When the healer spoke, Bren looked up startled. The words drawing a flicker of confusion in his eyes.]

The... child?

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek barely noticed it, of course he did not. He was too busy soaking in the feeling of Bren within his arms, his lover-- his dearest warm heart, who was now once again vital and filled with the light of fires within him. His forehead resting against the other man's temples as he had already crawled onto that lap.

The Shadowhand did not notice those words from the Healer, because the one important person was right here, though at the question-- he looked up in confusion as well. ] Child?

[ The Healer smiled, albeit a bit enigmatically. ] ~The child, created of your mating. It is after all not uncommon for a male to bare child once they find their Mate, if they find their mate. It is rare, but not unheard of.~

[ Essek's jaw dropped only a little bit as he fell forward into Bren's arms, and then this time his hand went to his abdomen despite itself-- but now knowingly. ]

~I noticed it when you wrapped your arm protectively about it when I entered the room, that is instinctual-- you wish to protect your child just as you wish to protect your Mate.~

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren's eyes went wide as if the world had decided to flip itself on its axis, up turning swiftly to down and down to up and he clung all the tighter to Essek, shifting as if he could enfold the other man more fully into his embrace.

The child, created of your mating.

Essek was going to have a baby? Essek was going to have his baby? His heart hammered its way against his ribcage in a desperate beating.]

We are... having a baby...

[Give him a moment to try to wrap his mind around this being real. A baby. A child. His mate. A... a family? The tears started rising in his eyes and he blinked them back as best he could, but they kept rising, eventually falling.] My love.

[zauberdecke]

You shall have enough gold for three resurrections, I shall see it so.

[ One for his mate, one for him and one for the child that right now settled like a seed. And now that he knew it was there, he could feel it like a small little flutter, a thoroughly unplanned but no less wanted little seed that now was growing within him.

He had never thought of such a thing.

Into his Mate's arms he settled while he rested his nose against that jawline. ] Well, I cannot think of anyone else who would've had the opportunity within the last month-- it must be you that is the father, it can only be you.

[ Adeen was not his M'hrandii but he knew that this man was. ]

~Thank you, Shadowhand-- I will leave you now, though I will visit you if you will allow, to make sure that all is going according to plan.~

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would love any child that was Essek's, even if he had not been the father. But to know that it was him, that this was something they had created together -- an unintentional but no less miraculous for that bit of magic that was so much greater than any spell he had ever crafted before.

His hands moved in soothing, simple touches over Essek, needing to feel him, however he could, to ground himself back to this world. This life. He turned his gaze to the healer with a grateful smile.]

Thank you.

[His mind was still swimming. A child.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Once the Healer had left, the door shut behind-- Essek put up the ward in place so that no one could enter. And then he wrapped his arms and buried his face in that neck, to breath him in. Against his own chest, he could hear the steady breathing of his lover, the sweetness of life that was now Bren's-- he cherished each precious rise and fall.

His only wish was to hold him close. ] I lost you, I lost you and then you came back.

[ He would not talk about the fact that it was forbidden, it was not something that Bren had to understand the severity of except for. ] Tell no one of this, they do not need to know that you were ressurected-- though you were very sick and the Healer was able to get to you in time.

[ His fingertip sent to Bren's mouth to rest the digit against those lips. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would not make any attempt to move from where he was, wrapped up in a tangle of limbs and desperation with the other man. He couldn't let him go right now, not after losing him. Or rather, after being lost. He was dead. Gods he was dead and he remembered it, remembered slipping away despite how desperately he had tried to hold on to his Master, how much he wanted to stay, to ease those tears.

He remembered seeing his mother, remembered the fact that only love and forgiveness had been in her eyes, not the hatred and betrayal he'd feared. He remembered her telling him it wasn't time yet. He had more to do. He had this.

Another tightening of his arms around Essek.]

You brought me back. I needed to come back to you. I couldn't leave you.

[He would stay by his side as long as his mortal body held out. He fell silent as that fingertip pressed to his lips, nodding his understanding.]

[zauberdecke]

[ And then Essek's lips sought Bren's, it was a tender kiss full of relief and gratitude; it was true, he would've burned the world if he had been deprived of his Mate. All would've suffered for it, and he would've had no regrets nor remorse, but Bren was living and breathing in his arms and they had a future. He twined Bren's fingers with his own and then he brought it to his stomach, the only one who would be allowed to touch.

He was protective of what was underneath, but he would share this with his Mate gladly. Not only his Pet but his Mate, who deserved this-- and who was therefore equal to him (though he would still enjoy those dynamics, ultimately if they were to be fathers together, they would have to be level with each other. ]

We are moving out of here [ He spoke this in between heat-smouldered kisses, tasting the lips that were once again intensely bright and like fragrance on his- tongue. ] We cannot stay here; it is my duty to protect you and I cannot protect you as suitably
here with Adeen in the same house.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren met that kiss with a quiet rush of desperation, mingled with relief and that giddy rush of being alive and in love and starting a family. He let his hand be guided to rest against Essek stomach, resting it there, just above where that tiny miracle had taken seed. His touch was warm now, as it usually was, the fire relit inside him and burning brighter somehow, some small piece of his guilt had died with him and been left with the quiet dead, a small touch of forgiveness that made him feel like he had a second chance.

Gods, a second chance and a man that he loved beyond words and reason.

He hung on Essek's lips, on every kiss and every word and every breath.]

I will go with you, wherever it is.

[His free hand moved to settle against Essek's cheek.] I love you. I love you so much I ache with it.

[zauberdecke]

[ The Wizard realized that he had almost lost this man, the spark that had gone out but had been re-ignited, he found himself utterly bereft of words and instead he allowed his actions to do the talking. The cards had been laid out on the table and there was absolutely no doubt that they were mates, now he was slowly leaning against that chest and then forward even more so that he could carry his lover back on the bed with him.

To prove that Bren was alive.

He was attempting to get at clothing with his fingertips, curling in fabric and pushing it aside until he could get to heated skin, all the while his tongue dived into that mouth, to sink into the slick warmth that had been offered to him; there was love in his actions and affection in the aura that wrapped around him.

But only for Bren, ever only for him. ]

I could not live without you.

[ Their souls were tied now, there was no help for that. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren was all too happy to be drawn with him, to settle back on the bed and stay as close to the drow as he could. He was shaken still, the memory of dying still fresh in his memory, but it was soothed by the rush of being alive and in love and loved in return.

He met each kiss with an echo of that need, that quiet desperation to prove it as well. He was alive, and this was real.

A breathless murmur at those words.]

I am here. You have me. I promise.

[He would let Essek out of his arms just enough to slip free of his shirt since the drow seemed quite intent on getting beneath it. Then his fingers would move to see about loosening some of Essek's clothes as well.]

[zauberdecke]

[ A fierce little growl of possession rumbled in between their lips, and then his teeth tugged at the lower lip before finally he had that shirt fully open, and then he broke away so that he could lean down and rubbed his face against that chest hair that he got so much serotonin from.

His.

This was his and no one elses.

And thus he was cradling the back of that neck with the palm of his head, stroking with his thumb while he settled between those thighs, tucked in between them to ascertain that his Mate would not get away. And then he was biting a trail from chest to collarbone, to leave his mark there as well. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren could not stop the way his body reacted to that growl, a shiver that raced over the surface of his skin and a sharp gasp that was exhaled in a low whimper of sound that spoke fluently of desire. His head fell back against the pillow, fingers finding their way blindly into Essek's hair as that mouth went wandering.]

Ah... Master, please...

[More. He needed his touch as much as he needed each breath he took, needed to remind the both of them that he was alive and here. That they were together and belonged to each other.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek purred in acknowledgement, it was almost as if Bren knew the exact right noise to make that would set his own mind at ease and soothe the territorial beast within; he found a nipple and then he was sucking and biting against it with the most gentle brush of teeth, alternating.

It was true that he was proving to the both of them that Bren was alive, that he was moored in the here and now, and Essek would fight tooth and nail to keep him there.

His Mate, the father of his child.

His other hand drifted downward, to cup the arousal caught within the linen trousers, feeling the curve of it against his palm-- separated only by the sheer inconvenience of Bren's clothing, he gave it a possessive squeeze while he teethed and nipped. This was a claiming, though he'd claimed Bren before-- this was different because there was spoken emotion between them and it was acknowledged. Poignant because the both of them knew now what they stood to lose within each other.

But this was truly the first time that Essek had ever been found within anyone as well. ]