: Saintsmourn - Nicholas & Patrick :

[dangernerd]

Nicholas Kirkland (Nicky to those who he considered friends) was at this moment finishing up the last of his reading for his college classes. In the little dorm-room that himself and Patrick shared, it was a muddle of books and random objects that they'd collected. Not only that but also bits and bobs of their friendship tied into neat little nostalgic notes.

The last rays of the sun was streaming in through the window and he was poised, feet crossed on desk and balancing barely on the back two legs-- precarious yes, and honestly he knew that he should not really be doing this. Coordination be damned, he'd never worried about it before despite the bumps and bruises he regularly got because he was perennially distracted.

It was almost time for Patrick to come home from his late evening classes and then they'd start their foraging for dinner.

After that, well the evening was still young and there was trouble to be had. All of which he looked forward to, after all Patrick had for as long as he remembered, been his favorite partner in crime.. they had grown up together and they had a special bond.

As close as brothers, except not quite-- and honestly? Nicholas was glad for that.

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[dangernerd]

The thought of stealing away with his Knight was something only to be dreamed of, and so as those fingers reached for his-- he aligned them perfectly so that their fingers were twining together. And then they started to steal through the palace while the sounds of fighting seemed to diminish only so slightly. If the King had been overly concerned about his own position or Kingdom, well he would have thought that perhaps it was all clear.

But he wasn't, all he wanted was to escape and with his Knight.

To bring reality to the painted life that he had only alluded to. Perhaps that caused him to press closer to his Knight, could scent sweat and blood and something that was particularly his own-- he wanted to kiss him, something that he'd really always wanted to do but had never had the luxury.. perhaps had even been too frightened of.

They were almost home free, walking down the steps into the servants quarters-- quietly. The King stepped to the side, not seeing the soldier that had been wounded, leaning against the wall in the shadows of the dimly lit kitchen. There was a glimmer in the soldier's eyes, acknowledgement that who he was looking at was the King, and if he killed him it would mean a rise in station for him. Sword came up and then came the charge, the only thing to herald it was the barest clink of armor.

The King looked up to see that the soldier was coming at him with sword brandished.

[giveeverything]

They were so close. They were so close, but the Knight could not let his guard down, could not allow himself to slip for even a moment until the palace was far on the distant horizon.

But oh they'd never get there.

He saw the movement in that instant, heard the telltale sound of armor, and the Knight oved without thinking, slipping himself into the place he was meant to be, between the threat and the man who had his devotion and all of his heart. The assailant's sword found purchase, but not in its target. No. Instead, the blade plunged straight into the Knight's chest, effortlessly, like it had not been real at all.

His own weapon came up, adrenaline bringing it down in a quick, brutal arch, knocking free that sword, which fell from the soldier's hand then slowly slipped from the gash it had torn in the Knight. One more thrust of his own sword and the assailant fell.

The Knight could feel the heat of blood that surged from the wound torn in his chest. He'd been a knight long enough to know that it was a mortal would. It would spell the end of him, but his purpose was not fulfilled yet. "We are nearly there, my Lord. We need to keep going. Quickly."

[dangernerd]

It had happened so fast, the way that the other man pushed him aside to parry the blow-- it had been nothing more than a shove and it had knocked him against the wall so he only caught the barest hint of what had happened. He saw the blade go through his Knight but it was dim and so it was barely percieved. He knew that the other man was hurt but he did not know the extent of it.

"Can you make it?" he said as he surveyed the other man with a look, but the tabard that bore the royal insignia was red, the House was crimson like blood. He did not see the welling of blood there, did not see the way that it spread all over the fabric. "He caught you, I saw that.." but he did not know it was mortal.

If he knew, he would never leave this place. Both of them knew that.

[giveeverything]

"I'll make it, my Lord. As far as I need to." He summoned a smile, soft and reassuring. And gods help him, by sheer stubborn will alone he'd stay on his feet until he was certain that his King was truly safe. That desperation to make sure that the man he cared for above everything else was protected, was taken care of. His time to continue that mission was short though, and he had to banish the way something in him ached at the thought of what he almost had, the confessions almost spoken.

The Knight held out his hand to his king once more. "We're not far from the exit now." the clandestine path that precious few knew of, that led from the palace through a secret passage dug through the earth that led to the forest beyond. They would be safer there, free from the walls and the mayhem happening in the castle. That hand securely in his own, and he would force his feet to move him in that direction, step after step even as his vision began to swim, as his breathing grew labored as blood escaped both outside his body and slowly into his lungs.

[dangernerd]

One foot in front of the other.

Yet, the King was unaware of that hourglass that drained down slowly their time together. His hand gripped tightly in the other man's though the palms started to feel clammy, the sweat touching against his own palm. "We will get that wound tended to once we are clear." there was something hopeful and optimistic about the King, the freedom that he could almost taste as they hit the air around them, the scent of smoke but also trees.. nature.

Footsteps, one in front of the other. A deep breath as they started closer and closer to safety. And yet something deep inside, a part of him that was not normally intuitive that told him to keep hold of that hand until they were clear. Though he did notice how the steps started to flag and as they started up the rocky path, he turned to look at his knight and caught the heavy breathing.

"We are almost there, if we continue we will head to the caves we used to play in as children, do you remember? We can seek shelter there, surely-- until all is clear."

[giveeverything]

"I remember, my lord..." the Knight murmured softly, his voice lacking its usual strength, but he still managed a smile for his liege lord, an attempt at reassurance. So close. So close to safety, where he would know that the King would be all right. It was the only thought he could hold solidly in his mind for the moment, aside from trying to keep his feet steady beneath him. "We'd play hide and seek. I remember the time I thought I lost you and sat down and cried, and you came to find me..."

He remembered so many times, so much of his lived by the King's side, before they'd been sovereign and protector.

The familiar sight of the cave mouth in front of him had him sighing softly in relief. He wavered on his feet, stumbling before catching himself on one knee and forcing himself back up to his feet.

[dangernerd]

The King was not one who shied in the face of danger, it had been the primary reason why he had stolen away to find his Knight. There had never been any fear in him, and that had been a scary prospect for a ruler. And yet, he held onto his own fears and one of them was doing something that would ultimately drive the Knight away from him-- for as impulsive as he was, his heart remained cautious.

"It was because I wanted to see what was behind the next step, around the next corner."

The stumbling of the knight and he reached over to steady his palm against the red of tabard, and felt something wet and sticky underneath his hand. He pulled his hand back and glanced down at it-- in the moonlight it lay dark with viscous blood, the crimson finally assaulting his nose.

"You are not alright." he said this accusingly as he started to hurry his steps toward the cave and taking the Knight with him. "Fuck it, why did you not tell me?" We need to get you to a healer." he said this almost urgently. "I can leave you here and fetch one." the hope in his eyes would not be diminished, not now-- not yet.

[giveeverything]

"Always so brave, my King. Too brave for your own good perhaps." But that was part of what the Knight have loved about him so dearly, still loved about him and likely always would, until his last breath -- which he rather thought he could count the ones he had remaining -- and beyond that.

He looked to the other man, to what he could see of that handsome face in the moonlight. This time he let himself be led on towards the cave, no longer feeling the ground beneath his feet. The pain had ebbed away, but he was fairly certain that wasn't really a good sign.

"No..." he protested, voice soft but adamant, the faintest note of fear in his voice. "Do not leave me. Please. I..." he was a coward at the end, and he did not want to be alone in those final moments. And they were final. "It is too late for a healer. It has been too late for a healer since the sword struck true. I... I just needed to see you to safety. I needed you to be all right."

[dangernerd]

"No..."

As if the very force of his command could will it to not be true. But he saw it, the moonlight brought out the paleness of that face, the slight bit of cold perspiration that dotted the skin, he wiped his hand on his own raiment and then he reached up to touch his palm to cheek and felt how cold his Knight was.

Brows furrowed, those blue eyes intently fixed on the taller man. "I will not leave you." the fear, he heard the note of fear in the voice, almost as if the other man was frightened of the unknown. He wrapped his other arm around that waist to hold him steady. "I am alright, but.. it works the same way, that I want you to be alright, you are supposed to escape with me." his voice started to allow inside an edge of uncertainty. "We were supposed to find somewhere only we know.. we are supposed to be together and live a life free of worries and obligations."

Already those hopes and dreams were crumbling like the walls of Pompeii.

[giveeverything]

If the Knight could obey that command he would. Oh he'd do anything for his King, give him everything he had in him, in his heart, his soul. He leaned into that touch the warmth of that hand, and he leaned more heavily on the other man than he meant to. Those words eased some of that fear then, that he would not be left alone in his last moments, that he could leave this life gazing into the face of the man who had so long been his everything.

He reached a hand out blindly, groping for the cave wall so that he could let himself slide down to the ground, as his legs were no longer cooperating with supporting his weight.

"It sounds like a perfect dream, my Lord. ...to live a life with you, together. There is no priest here for it, so will you hear my confession instead?"

[dangernerd]

He was getting blood all over his dress clothing, but honestly that was the least of his concerns in that moment; everything had pinpointed sharply into something ultimately finite. And without conscious thought, he moved to sit beside the other man so that he could wrap his arms around his shoulder, the embrace would be a thing of warmth and life.

Oh no, there were tears.

He could feel them edge into the corners of his eyes, and while normally he managed to smile through tears as if they were nothing much, a way to reassure the Knight that he would be okay. Right now, he could not allow himself that because it would not be okay-- and he knew this just as surely as he knew the back of his own hand.

"What do you have to confess, you have always lived with such honour and nobility that I do not think that there is any sin that exists that could ever have touched you." he breathed this against his Knight's cheek, the scruff of his neatly trimmed beard brushing against skin in the process. "But if you feel you need to confess, then I will listen and never judge you."

[giveeverything]

The Knight leaned his King, taking what warmth the other man offered since so much of his own had seeped from his body with the blood that flowed from his wound. That flow had slowed, but it was not any sign of healing rather that there was less and less flowing, and his heartbeat was growing fainter, slower.

A weak laugh at that. "Only one sin, my Lord, but I have committed it over and over again, every day of for so many years." His one sin, his one secret, the one thing he could not truly repent of because he could not truly regret it, could not even bear think of stopping.

"I have loved you, far more than a knight should love his liege lord. I have been in love with you, with all of my heart and my soul. I desired things I had no right to desire, but I would have been content to simply remain by your side forever."

[dangernerd]

The tears flowed, painting his cheek wet, his beard damp as he squeezed the other man, as he buried his lips against that cheek, so cold and so pale. His Knight had been in love with him, in love with him, and yet the Knight had never guessed the trepidation in his heart over marrying because the only one who he had truly wanted was this man at his side. But he had never thought.. he had never dared guessed nor hoped that the other man could care for him as something more than someone to be protected because he symbolized the crown.

"Then it is a sin that we both share." The King spoke, and then his mouth shifted to cover his valiant and brave defender; he let out a sob against mouth, and his tears were but salted regrets as they seeped between their broken mouths. "I love you, I have always loved you and I always will love you-- I never wanted anything more to be with just you, to live my life with just you." he spoke quickly as his heart frantically beat, as if atttempting to use his heart to give power to his Knights.

But bodies did not simply work that way.

[giveeverything]

If anything could have kept his heart beating, it was those words. But this was not a fairy tale, and even if the way his King's lips on his sent his soul souring and certainly saved some part of him, they could not knit mortal wounds back together, could not stop a death that already had its fingers wrapped so tightly around him.

But the Knight could kiss back, could return that tear-flavored kiss as if it were the miracle and blessing that it felt like. He'd never been given a greater gift in his life than those words, than that kiss, than knowing that his King returned his feelings, loved him in return.

Tears had gathered in his own eyes, even as the edges of his vision had begun to go hazy. "My heart will always be yours. My Lord... my love." Words were growing harder, and each breath he took felt like an ordeal, but he willed his body to cooperate enough to lift a hand, to touch his fingertips along the King's cheek. "I love you..."

Fitting perhaps that those would be his last words, when they were the clearest simplest truth that had guided his whole life, to this moment. His hand fell away, the light flickering and fading from tear-filled blue eyes.

[dangernerd]

He knew the exact moment that his Knight passed through the veil, saw the glimmer of light flicker out and then move across the air like a rose petal; to somewhere better-- somewhere that there was no longer any pain. But there was pain here, it stabbed through his heart almost as surely and as physically as any sword would have done, it clutched at his throat even as he brought that lifeless form to his own chest and squeezed, burying his face in a pulseless neck.

Tears, gods the tears.

Pain, gods the pain.

He stayed there all night holding the body grown cold and rigid, stayed there until his own cries grew dim. He stayed there until the dawm rose in cold uncaring light. Blood dried on his clothes, on his body but he had no care nor awareness of where he was, only the still form that he kept trying to instill life into.

Sunset came, and by evening-- his own body grew cold in response.

[giveeverything]

There was no better place, not without that other soul that was so inextricably woven in with his own. It was only better when that other little flickering soul rose to join his own, lingering in that space, in that quiet cave, as if it knew that its other half would not be long in joining it. Until they found each other in another life, and then another, to try again.

And again. And again.

The man who had been a Knight, who had lived and died for his King -- who had worn too many faces and felt too many heartbreaks all for the very same heart -- woke in the dim light of a New England morning, filtered through the curtains of a dorm room. He sat up with a gasp and a start, and a sob that tore from him as tears gathered and fell from his eyes. For a moment Trick did not know who or where he was, and as he cast about, the only thing that stilled that pain and that panic was the warm, beautiful man still in his arms.

[dangernerd]

Nicholas was not having a sleep that was entirely dreamless, he still felt cold. It was so very real the way that he felt; the coldness and the way that he blinked back sleep as if fighting it.. the grogginess of realizing that you had pulled yourself from the talons of sleep, and then his eyes came into focus and he saw Trick looking down at him.

Those eyes.

He'd seen those same eyes in his dream.

Nicky did not know exactly what the dream meant, he was not the sort that could analyze it with any sort of emotion-- but he did understand that Trick was here and looking at him with a shimmer to those eyes. It was almost instinct for Nicholas to take those cheeks between his palm and bring him down to kiss him. While gentle, there was a bit of heat to it even as he could feel a very now-familiar hunger engulf him. "Trick... morning." he murmured against mouth.

[giveeverything]

The dream had been so viscerally really. Trick could feel the echo of the pain of that death blow, but worse still was the ache in his chest at not being able to stay in the arms of his beloved. Except, wasn't that exactly where he was?

He let himself be drawn close, meeting those lips with an overwhelming relief that this was real, not the dream. One hand shifted to bury into that thick dark hair, kissing him again and again, each brief and soft, but growing longer with each brush of their lips. "Morning, baby..."

Trick would be trying to shake that dream for who knew how long, but Nicky's lips helped settle him, and he was in no way ready to stop kissing him.

[dangernerd]

It was criminally unfair how Nicky felt when Trick called him 'Baby', how was that right? His best friend had called him that a handful of times and he was a decided fan of it-- so much that he all but forcefully pushed himself into the other man's arms-- to reassure himself but also it was morning and he did have a hardon that was making its presence known right against the other guy's thigh.

Kisses were sweet though and he rather thought he could grow accustomed to this.

"I have not had time to properly convey how turned on I am by you calling me 'baby' but here we are." And then Nicky's hand was pushing him onto his back so that he could drape across him quite as if he owned the place.

[giveeverything]

Trick just grinned at this bit of news, because well well. How about that. "Yeah? Well good, because I like it too. Feels right." Very right. Hell, he'd been crooning Baby to Nicky in all his fantasies for years, so really, life was imitating, er, art? Yeah, sure, art.

His smile only widened as he found himself pushed, settling onto his back and winding his arms around his best-friend-turned-lover as Nicky settled in. Oh he could get used to this. He would like to get used to this, to mornings starting this way. He did remember though that there was an incubus infestation they had to deal with.

And they were both still naked. Hmm. Yeah, okay, this was pretty excellent incubus issue or not.

[dangernerd]

Right now, Nicky was quite content where he was-- except not quite so content if the turn of his angles had anything to say about it; a lock of his curling red hair sleep tousled managed to tickle against the sharp line of Trick's cheek which was just as precious to him as anything could've been. Perhaps even more precious if he was being honest with himself, and he really hadn't been honest with himself had he?

"I don't think anything is getting done until I've had breakfast."

It appeared that he was calling it that now-- truth be told, Nicholas required three square meals a day now, and perhaps even a midnight snack. They needed to work within a specific time frame.

Guess now was a good time for Trick to start eating his fruits, his vegetables and also foods rich in healthy fats, and zinc.

[giveeverything]

"Yeah? Well let's get you a snack then. I think we have some protein bars. And I can get the coffee going if you--"

Trick paused, looking at the way that Nicky was looking at him. "...why are you looking at me like I'm the snack?" Was that what this was? Because Trick could get behind that sort of breakfast buffet, if Nicholas wanted. He reached up to brush back some of that messy ginger hair with a smile, finding one lock that he could twist around his finger.

"You're kind of beautiful all sleep-mussed like this..." Just in case Nicky was wondering.

[dangernerd]

As if there was any doubt whatsoever, he brought himself until both their cocks alighned, and then he undulated almost suggestively, even as he leaned down so that he could capture that mouth with his own; his tongue sliding a slow trail against the plump lower-lipped flesh before diving inside as if he was thirsty and the only way to slake lingered with his grasp.

Nope, no food was desired.

Nicky pulls back but a centimeter and then spoke in that sleep husky voice. "You do look good enough to eat.." and then he rested his forehead against Tricks, "I could eat your ass.." he had never tried it before but he rather thought that Trick would look good with his hips up in the air, and making sweet noises over things that he was doing to him.

Listen, Nicky had viewed a lot of porn and each of those things he'd seen, he'd imagined doing to Trick.

[giveeverything]

Oh. Well. That certainly was something wasn't it? Floodgates were open and neither of them were playing coy with desires or feelings, and Trick thought he could happily get used to that. If he survived long enough. There was also the distinct possibility that Nicky was trying to kill him saying things like that.

He choked on a sound that was halfway into a whimper and halfway into an attempt at words, and mostly just manifested in his failing to breathe properly in the moment. His face flushed brightly even as he found himself arching up against the other man, seeking out that delicious feeling of Nicky's arousal rutting against his own.

"You ah... you could. If you wanted to."

[dangernerd]

"I want to." Nicky affirmed as he pulled his lips away but only so that he was kissing a very decided trail down that body, against the collarbone and then he very slowly and painstakingly tasted those nipples. There had been many times when Trick had been shirtless that he wanted to do just that, his tongue guiding out to lightly play with a stiffened peak.

It was true that Nicholas was clearly attempting to murder his best friend.

"Do you want me to?" another nudge of his tongue, glancing up at Trick with mischief in his eyes.