"Broken Shards"

[zauberdecke]

"In the dark
I need to taste the blood
Go on, draw another line
We can cross this time."
- Blindfold by Sleeping Wolf

---



[ Essek Thelyss: Shadowhand to the Dynasty.

One who reached further then the Luxon would allow, who would do absolutely anything for knowledge. Oh no, the man did not care for power, not really. He wanted to cast himself into the portal of knowing, he wanted to surrender himself to books and learning without having to deal with the mundanities of socio-politics that all of the Kryn engaged in. It was tedious and it filled him with sickness even as he plastered on an urbane smile for all and sundry to see.

Within the Dynasty, it was customary to take pets of the Empire; they were brought in across the border of Asarius, across the mountains and into the Dynasty. There were Dynasty born pets on the other side, both lost to the ravages of the other's civilization, generally never to be seen again.

Essek had never really had an interest to begin with when it came to pets; at the market he carefully avoided the slave blocks where those not of the Dynasty were paraded around. However, it had come to this-- it had come to his trading of the Beacon, and in return he recieved a Volstrucker to serve him. And yet, for all of that, Essek Thelyss had not thought he would receive a broken Volstrucker.

In fair trade, he and recieved a dossier on the man in question and had perused it with only a small semblance of annoyance while Trent Ikithon had assured him that a man like him could be rebuilt, the honeyed words of a silken snake which Essek recognized.

After all did not a predator recognize another predator? So now he held in his household a man whom had to be guarded carefully, though Essek was not cruel despite how he imagined Dynasty pets were treated, the cage that he had placed this Volstrucker named Bren within, well it was comfortable-- he'd seen pictures of Vergossen so he supposed it must be far better than that place. But he had not precisely interacted with him-- most of his unseen servants were given the walking of him, the care and maintenance of him.

Perhaps because he did not precisely know what to do with him, or what use he had for something broken. Though he arguably did not know what manner of broken the Volstrucker was, but after a week-- he decided perhaps it was time to summon him and see for himself; acertain what sort of work was cut out for him.

If this man was worth putting back together again.

So it was one evening, he had the Empire man summoned to his chambers. ]

Comments

[ausgebrannt]

[Oh Essek did not have to worry about being quiet. Bren was awake. Bren had been awake. All night. By now he was sulking about this face, flat on his back and staring up at the ceiling as if it personally had done him wrong.

He wanted to sleep. He wanted nothing more than to slip into dreams, but gods help him he was certain that thoughts of his Master were waiting for him there too. If he'd known a spell that could have plunged him into unconsciousness he would have cast half a dozen times over the past few hours.

It would be a sleepy, exhausted pet that Essek would find when morning came, dark circles prominent and obvious in pale skin, likely making him look all the more pathetic.]

[zauberdecke]

[ When Essek stepped out of bed to ring for breakfast, that was when he noticed Bren flopped there on the little cot, curled up in a little ball and looking a bit bleary. For a moment, Essek did not notice the dark circles underneath those eyes nor any other testament that the other man had been sorely inconvenienced with no sleep all night.

He leaned down and started to scritch through those locks of hair in a gesture that said clearly good morning. Was it the same hand that Essek used to touch himself with? Probably. ]

Good morning, Pet. Are you hungry? I was just going to ring for breakfast to be brought up and will make sure to have them provide some bites for you as well. [ Yesterday, he'd had a much earlier breakfast and Bren's own repast had been brought up a few hours later. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren turned his gaze towards Essek as he heard the drow rising from his bed, and some of the night's tension and frustration eased away with that casual little touch through his hair. Damn it he was such a lost cause, and he knew it. A soft hum of sound -- as if he'd forgotten how to censor himself in some small ways when he hadn't had a voice to worry about silencing.

It took him a moment to parse the words as he looked up at him, moving to sit up. Even if he hadn't slept, he was disheveled by the night, copper hair falling in disarray about his shoulders. Rumpled.]

Good morning, Master.

[His voice was bleary too. But it was not lost on him that the hand currently in his hair had most certainly been other places a few hours ago.]

Breakfast would be very much appreciated yes. [A pause and then a hopeful -- or was that desperate -- little inquiry.] Coffee?

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek chuckled softly, his lips forming a wry and almost enigmatic smile before he moved to ring the bell by the hearth. There was a little ping and then an slight infracted echo before he spoke into that noise-beam. ] Breakfast for both myself and my Pet. Also, extra coffee.

[ His unseen servants knew what he enjoyed, his customary yogurt drink, a few slices of flax toast spread with a softened cheese and blackberry-lavender jam.. and coffee.

Once he had his robe in place, he walked over to kneel down beside Bren. ] You look tired? Did you sleep alright, Pet? Nightmares?

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren found himself soothed by that chuckle, that smile, wry as they were. He liked to see Essek like this, relaxed and at ease, so different than the tension in the carriage ride the night before, different than the sharp and icy facade he'd watched the other man slip into at the event.

He offered a tired smile of his own at the extra coffee. Good. Perhaps he could survive the day after all.

Cerulean eyes widened as Essek settled beside him, blinking at having his master suddenly on his level.]

I... [What were words? Bren had never met them.] No, not nightmares... [There had been no screaming, so certainly not that.] Sleep eluded me entirely, so there was no real chance to dream, I suppose. My mind was very loud and would not be quieted.

[zauberdecke]

I will not pry, your mind is your own.

[ Essek was now sitting on the edge of the cot, perched there while he regarded the other man, his fingers slipping underneath chin and then he tilted it upward just a shadow's kiss so that he could inspect his Pet. There was something inherently intimate to it that transcended the sexual, he treated him like a cherished beat who deserved such things like care and respect.

Trent Ikithon who had broken Bren's mind.

Essek Thelyss who respected the privacy of those thoughts and would not enter them unless implicitly allowed. Perhaps Essek Thelyss would do much in terms of unscrupulous things, but as far as Bren was concerned-- there was no true danger. ] But if you wish to nap a bit, I will go on my walk alone; you are not required to walk with me in the pavilion gardens.

[ausgebrannt]

I... thank you.

[There was a trembling in his voice as he formed the words, as if the weight of what Essek was saying was so tremendous he could not bear it. Or perhaps just the opposite, the relief of knowing that his mind could remain his own. It meant more than he could really express.

And that touch, soft and gentle and yes, surprisingly intimate. Was it any wonder that he'd fallen so far and fast into loyalty and devotion to this man. He lifted his chin at the urging, eyes meeting Essek's and overflowing with that devotion, reflecting it back to the man who was the genesis of it.]

I would rather come with you, please. I enjoyed it yesterday. [Even being led about on a leash. It had still been very pleasant, and he liked Essek's company.]

[zauberdecke]

[ There was a fondness as he saw the devotion there; it was almost humbling that he could be worthy of this sort of affection-- he who had known very little of it. What had compelled him to treat Bren as far more deserving of something beyond his ice, he could not say-- it was like instinct. Perhaps it was something deeper, like red strings ruining lines through his veins as they came in contact with Bren's skin.

Seeking to come back into each other, to tie and tangle as if inevitability bound them together. ]

Very well, eat up like a Good Boy and then we will get dressed and then you leashed so that we may promenade a bit in the morning air.

[ While dim, still was pleasant-- and the morning blooms were especially fragrant. ] I may also buy you another ice cream--

[ The platters were brought into the room, a quiet little huff of door that creaked before finally one of the platters rested on the bed (where Essek took his morning breakfast), the other plate was filled with food that it was thought that Empire pets liked-- a standard breakfast of potatoes sliced up, a cheese omelet and rounded sausage. A breakfast that lacked appeal for Essek but he did not judge other's food generally. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren, broken as he was, tainted and ruined as he was, he was the sort of creature who wanted to love, who had so much love in himself to give -- even if he would not have recognized that in himself. But recognized or not, it was there, and it had been years with no outlet except grief and memory, and now it was given a chance to breathe once more, and it had latched onto it tightly. Maybe some tangle of fate indeed had caught both of them in its web, unseen strands and strings woven and tugged and pulled into this strange and unexpected arrangement, a meeting that by all rights should never have happened. But here they were.

He smiled at like a good boy and ducked his head in acknowledgment. That was right, yes. He'd eat his breakfast. No sense earning that punishment again for the moment where the lingering effects of obeying offset the self loathing that would have set him up to fail.

Sitting up straighter, he started in on his breakfast. It was reminiscent of what he was used to, of what one would find within the Empire -- though far more robust than anything he'd had access to for many years. His mother had a habit of trying to stuff him full with food, explained with comments that his brain burned too intensely and needed to be fed. That as a lifetime ago, and currently Bren was still growing accustomed to eating more than bare minimum for survival.

That didn't mean he didn't perk up at the mention of ice cream though. Spoiled. A spoiled pet.]

I would like that too. Thank you. ...you are kinder to me than I deserve. In far more ways than ice cream treats.

[zauberdecke]

[ Perhaps a spoiled pet, but Essek was inclined to be indulgent with Bren.

Do not think for even one second that Essek was not carefully watching to make sure that there was no neglect of food and sustenance; he watched the Pet tuck into the food while he attended to his own meal, perhaps a bit more sparse, and pickier.

If Bren were to pay close attention, he would perhaps clock that Essek did not eat 'as much' and perhaps that had everything to do with stressors, works or the whatnot. He reliably ate his breakfast but then after that things got a bit sketchy as he grew moreso distracted as the day went on and social servings were added to his plate. ] You are under my protection, it would be remiss of myself if I did not see to your safety and well-being.

[ Essek was not neglectful, though at the beginning he thought about having his unseen servants tend to the Pet forever while he not acknowledge it-- but his curiousity had won out. ] I may not be the most empathetic person, however if you have concerns.. you may bring them to me, Pet. And I will endeavor to address them with due seriousness.

[ausgebrannt]

You gave me back my voice and have been more than generous in providing for my comfort. And in discipline... you've also been more than fair. As it is, the only concern I have is fulfilling my end of this... contract, so to speak.

[Not that he'd had a choice in the arrangement, but he still wanted to be worth the fairness and kindness that Essek visited upon him. ...hells more than that, he wanted to earn his favor and his praise, wanted to please him, with a desire that had welled up from the very core of him. Bren would have withered away under the care of unseen magical beings, would have retreated back into himself in his silence and perhaps eventually slipped away from reality once more.

Instead, he felt alive in a way that surprised him, felt a sort of safe that he didn't think was even possible. Trent Ikithon could not touch him here, as much as the old mage probably thought he could, probably counted Bren as one of his tools still.

He hesitated, more or less moving food around his plate by now -- though he'd eaten a fair bit -- before looking up at the other man.]

I enjoy speaking with you. It is... it's very nice.

[zauberdecke]

[ Ah, so it came down to being 'worth' something-- he knew that the Pet had some deep seated issues with worth; he understood that as he possessed very similar issues that he did not voice to others, and did not feel comfortable expressing to Bren for the exact reason that it was a private sort of feeling that he held close to his chest. It couldn't be easy to exist in this world where you had very little autonomy, though that was something that Essek did not feel comfortable allowing Bren at this point in time.

He took a careful sip of his own yogurt drink and then after delicately wiping the corner of his mouth with his napkin, he continued. ]

A pet's value is subjective to the owner, if I believe that you hold value then that is where those questions must cease, yes? The use of pets vary from Owner to Owner, the Bright Queen's Pet acts as her secretary, and the Pet of Quana, a glorified Aide de'Camp-- whereas Adeen uses his as.. [ There was a faint sneer, not because he objected to what Adeen did with his Pet but rather the thought of Adeen which brought to mind other things that he did not wish to focus on.

Things that drew closer than he would've liked. ]

There is no contract, you are mine to do with as I please. You have nothing to uphold or fulfill, what you must do is continue to be a clever and obedient Pet, if I ask you a question you should answer it promptly and if I give you a directive I will expect it to be followed to the letter-- your obedience is the only thing that is required.

[ausgebrannt]

[To be in the possession of his mind, his sanity, that was more autonomy than Bren had the luxury of for a decade. Essek's word that he would not try to force his way into his thoughts or manipulate his mind were the sort of relief that was still washing through him in waves even days after they had been uttered. Bren turned his attention to his coffee, sipping at it just tentatively enough to assure that it would not scald his mouth too badly before drinking half the cup in one go. Gods help him he was going to survive this day one way or another.

He hummed thoughtfully in response to Essek's explanation. It made sense yes, that Pets could be of whatever use their owners decided to make of them, decided that they were best suited for.]

Yes, Master.

[Obedient he could do, would in fact do to the fullest extent he could, despite his baser instincts tending to betray him. Another more sedate sip of the coffee and he looked from the cup back to the drow.]

I would be of use, however that may come about.

[Though it was not lost on him the way that Essek's expression changed at the mention of Adeen and his choices in using his own pet. Was that same revulsion what Essek thought of when his own filthy desires made themselves known? He did not want to consider that, would try to be better than that, for fear of disgusting the Shadowhand to the point here he might be discarded, despite Essek's mercy. Though that did not stop him from commenting, a frown tugging at his lips.]

I do not like your husband. He'd shadow all your light if he could... but I do not think he is anywhere near equal to that task.

[zauberdecke]

[ Those words reached Essek and he had to linger on them for a little bit, his brows furrowing as he looked at somewhere not Bren, and then he spoke and it was consideringly. ] Love matches are not unheard of in the Kryn, but usually does not accompany marriage, those are purely for political power and gain with the ultimate purpose to make a trajectory upward.

[ He clasped his fingers together then, lightly cracking those knuckles though it did not reverberate and perhaps that was only due to soft muscles and tendons from those immaculately shaped fingers, that prevented such. ] I am born of House Thelyss but I am not consecuted, he is consecuted but not born of Den Thelyss-- however his advantage was that he had been in Den Thelyss in a previous life which necessitated the need to bring him back into the house.

[ A shrug that lifted his shoulders, accompanied by a sigh of weariness ] Which is why I am his husband, it is not by any strong desire... my strong desires are of the more cerebral bent.

[ausgebrannt]

It is different where I am from. ...at least, it was different for my family. Mother and father loved each other very much. But my family name is not one that anyone would ever know or speak of. Not a house or a den or anyone we were just... we were a family. That was enough, ja? That should have been enough.

[Bren trailed off, shaking his head and turning his gaze back to what remained of his coffee. He tried to stuff that guilt back down before it overwhelmed him and swallowed him whole. But it never really subsided, it never really went away, always clawing at him from the inside out, burning him up like a slow motion immolation.]

You are a wizard, ja? That desire for knowledge is a strong pull. I know it very well. Or I used to.

[zauberdecke]

Yes, it is a strong pull-- it has been for over 100 years. [ Essek said this before finally he gathered up the rest of his plates, empty with but a few crumbs and then he effortlessly floated it toward the little table near the door where the Unseen Servants would collect it and take it down for attending.

He was beginning to learn fondness, but there was still a ways to go before he understood truly what it would mean to truly love. But perhaps that would start with the surge of protectiveness that he felt when he looked into those sad blue eyes. ] I suspect that you will learn quite a bit about our customs before long, you pick up things quickly.. you are very clever, after all.

[ Another praise, perhaps timed because for a moment he caught the glimmer of a sadness there in those eyes and it was his way of attempting to assuage it so that it lost some of it's potency. ]

Shall we get ready for our walk then? And then a visit to my office? [ It would merely be a repeat of yesterday's routine, nothing truly special-- but the shine of being a new pet at the park would wear off a little bit more, and Bren would come underneath less scrutiny. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Elves...

[Bren murmured with a shake of his head. One hundred years. Of course, and looking like a man in the full flush of his youth and prime. Young for an elf, especially for a drow with such a high position of esteem as Shadowhand to the Bright Queen.]

Three times my age and unagingly beautiful.

[A flicker of a smile at the praise, and he looked to his master.]

Clever enough to get myself in trouble. That has proven to be true.

[It worked though, easing some of that melancholy for the moment, a little ripple of pleasure at the praise. He nodded.]

Of course, ja. I won't delay us.

[zauberdecke]

[ Oh no--

He certainly had not expected the flush to come to his cheeks at being called beautiful and yet there it was, so much that he had to get up from the bed, turn himself away toward his own wardrobe so that he could set out clothing for himself, and then for Bren as well. It was a good masking technique and allowed him to focus on something so that his cheeks may cool even sllightly.

Many called him beautiful and normally he could accept it with an incline of his head, they were fools and easily swayed by a pretty face.. easily manipulated too. But he could not quite say that about his Pet.

The two of them got ready for the day and it was true that one would have a far more tiring day the the other, it remained to be seen how Bren would evidence that tiredness and how it would factor into the interactions of the day. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren noticed that rise in color, the faint staining of lavender skin. For a moment he didn't know what he was witnessing, and even when Essek turned away and it occurred to Bren that his master was blushing, he didn't entirely understand why. Something he'd said?

He was still considering that as he dressed, made certain that he looked neat enough not to embarrass his master as they were seen out in public. While he'd never been one to concern himself about his appearance, he did take a moment to make certain that his hair was properly detangled.

And then out into the day. Bren did well, keeping up as if he weren't fighting with exhaustion the whole way. Right up until it finally caught up with him, probably at an inopportune time all said. In his master's office, kneeling at his feet while Essek conducted his business, he could feel himself start to drift.

Essek would know when he nodded off entirely, because his pet would tip into him, resting his head against his master's lap, exhaling a soft relieved sigh as he surrendered (albeit unwillingly) to exhaustion, to sleep.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek had been sitting at his desk, writing out his correspondences and wrapping up the very last of his duties before he focused on the dossier that he was writing for the Bright Queen, something he was to present to her eventually. When of course he felt the weight of a body, warm and langurous tipping against his thigh, and then the weight of a head with the cheek centered against sweet smelling lavender.

He paused within his writing and looked down for a long moment at the Pet who lingered there, could see the ginger lashes rest against the tops of freckled cheeks, the smooth peach hued skin which allayed the base of tone.

And a dark auburn lock curled against a cheek, all the way til it curled just downward upon jawline. For a moment Essek was caught up in the beauty and peace of the tableaux, there was a twitching within his fingertips as he endeavored not to touch, not wanting to wake the other man.

But ultimately? It was too large of a feat and his fingers found the soft hair at the forehead line and then he started to stroke gently, in a soothing back and forth motion-- he allowed himself this touch and cherished each little nuance of it, fragile and delicate that it was. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren had slipped to sleep quite suddenly, and deeply. Perhaps it was a testament to just how safe he felt that he was able to. The anxiety and fear that have tormented him, that still do flow through his veins thicker than his blood, but in this moment, his sleep was peaceful.

His eyes flutter faintly at the first brush of those fingers, but he did not stir to waking. Not yet. If anything, the few remaining furrows of his forehead smoothed at the touch, a soft sigh slipping past parted lips. This was not really the place to take a nap, was it?

A moment later and his eyes opened just enough to allow a sliver of sky blue to peek up at the drow from beneath ginger lashes. He was still mostly asleep, and a soft smile found his lips before his eyes fell shut again. Safe. Safe and basking in that soft, gentle touch.]

Sorry, Master. I'm... mm. I'm awake.

[He lied with another soft, sleepy sigh.]

[zauberdecke]

You do not need to worry about staying awake for me, you know that you could have stayed at my residence to sleep; you would not have disappointed. [ He murmured as he very casually twirled a lock of that fire-kissed hair around his fingertip, watching how it lightly curled in place-- he had this morning brushed Bren's hair until it had shone burnished in the light and had taken a distinct form of pleasure within that.

At that moment a secretary walked in to announce someone come to visit him however he raised his other hand, a single finger raised as if to silence the person, then a soft shooh'ing motion. The servant immediately left, likely to tell the visitor to come back later.

Honestly? None of Essek's mind was focused on that at the moment. ]

Surely there is somewhere comfortable than my leg however, I could make you a nice cot on the little chaise so that you can sleep. [ He couldn't know of course that would be unusual for a Pet Owner to offer, there were after all pallets and cots meant to hold the Pet's rest, and not actual furniture that was used by the Kryn. Not that would've mattered, it was probably unclear that Bren would even want to make the move from against leg to anywhere else. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren was drowsy enough that he did not notice the presence of the secretary in the room at first, but as Essek shooed them out, his eyes opened as if realizing. He half started to sit up straight, to try to act like he wasn't an utter sleepy disgrace of a pet, but when the secretary turned to leave and he realized that Essek had deliberately dismissed the servant, that his master was still playing with his hair.

So he saw no reason to actually go about moving, after all.

Bren had no idea about what was proper and not proper for a Pet either, after all, save for what Essek had told him. So the offer of the chaise was only met with a little shake of his head.]

No sense troubling over me. This is very comfortable.

[Especially with the hair petting. Gods he really was pathetically touch starved, Bren realized, but couldn't summon up the appropriate level of shame to accompany that thought as tired as he was. A thought did occur to him, and his eyes opened to gaze up at the Shadowhand.]

Unless I am in the way.

[zauberdecke]

If you were in the way, you simply would be dismissed-- like my secretary.

[ Essek said this as if it was the most natural thing in the world, his fingers sliding through fire locks without fear of being burned from them; it comforted him too in an almost wistful way-- how he could comb through those locks as if they were made of water, the soft light of the office catching highlights within. Ah, yes the hair had much improved since he'd been put into the personal keeping of him.

A hum as he considered.

A sound that likely Bren would grow used to, the precursor to thought.. that soft hum-sigh that denoted an exercise of thought. ]

Are you bored, Pet? Do you desire occupation of your own? [ Perhaps that would combat the sleepiness. ] If you are not then I have no strong desire that you exert yourself if you do not desire-- I do not consider you a trick Pet who must constantly amuse me, but I have to admit that I do enjoy your companionship.

[ausgebrannt]

Yes, Master.

[Bren expected that day would come before too long. He couldn't possibly hope to hold Essek's interest for all that long, could he? Not with what he was, at heart. But he would treasure the attention so long as Essek was generous enough to give it, before he eventually bored him or Essek saw the true brokenness in him, or worse tired of what a filthy, uncontrolled thing he was.

If self loathing were an Olympic sport -- and if Exandria had the Olympics -- Bren would take gold medal.

His eyes opened wider at the question of boredom. It was true he wasn't used to his mind being idle, well, okay, he quite literally had disappeared into catatonia for a decade, but not counting that.]

Occupation?

[But oh he was interested, intrigued even, by what Essek could mean by that?]