"Broken Shards"

[zauberdecke]

"In the dark
I need to taste the blood
Go on, draw another line
We can cross this time."
- Blindfold by Sleeping Wolf

---



[ Essek Thelyss: Shadowhand to the Dynasty.

One who reached further then the Luxon would allow, who would do absolutely anything for knowledge. Oh no, the man did not care for power, not really. He wanted to cast himself into the portal of knowing, he wanted to surrender himself to books and learning without having to deal with the mundanities of socio-politics that all of the Kryn engaged in. It was tedious and it filled him with sickness even as he plastered on an urbane smile for all and sundry to see.

Within the Dynasty, it was customary to take pets of the Empire; they were brought in across the border of Asarius, across the mountains and into the Dynasty. There were Dynasty born pets on the other side, both lost to the ravages of the other's civilization, generally never to be seen again.

Essek had never really had an interest to begin with when it came to pets; at the market he carefully avoided the slave blocks where those not of the Dynasty were paraded around. However, it had come to this-- it had come to his trading of the Beacon, and in return he recieved a Volstrucker to serve him. And yet, for all of that, Essek Thelyss had not thought he would receive a broken Volstrucker.

In fair trade, he and recieved a dossier on the man in question and had perused it with only a small semblance of annoyance while Trent Ikithon had assured him that a man like him could be rebuilt, the honeyed words of a silken snake which Essek recognized.

After all did not a predator recognize another predator? So now he held in his household a man whom had to be guarded carefully, though Essek was not cruel despite how he imagined Dynasty pets were treated, the cage that he had placed this Volstrucker named Bren within, well it was comfortable-- he'd seen pictures of Vergossen so he supposed it must be far better than that place. But he had not precisely interacted with him-- most of his unseen servants were given the walking of him, the care and maintenance of him.

Perhaps because he did not precisely know what to do with him, or what use he had for something broken. Though he arguably did not know what manner of broken the Volstrucker was, but after a week-- he decided perhaps it was time to summon him and see for himself; acertain what sort of work was cut out for him.

If this man was worth putting back together again.

So it was one evening, he had the Empire man summoned to his chambers. ]

Comments

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren lets his fingers run carefully through that beautiful white hair, to make sure that it was fully saturated. He set down the pitcher and reached instead for the shampoo, fingers finding their way back into his hair once more, this time working up a lather carefully. A gentle massage against that scalp, and he hummed softly. He barely realized he was doing it, an old tune coming to mind, something that his mother would sing to him when he was young and hurt.

Eventually he would urge his Master to lean back once more so that he could work to rinse the lather from his hair, careful to keep form getting soap in his eyes -- those eyes are teary enough.]

There...

[Another quiet murmur, voice low and gentle.]

That's better. And here...

[He found the scented oil meant for keeping hair soft, the one that he was very familiar with being what Essek used by scent alone and began to work that through short strands carefully.]

Your hair is beautiful. Like starlight.

[All of Essek was beautiful. And oh Bren realized, not for the first time, but perhaps for the first time he'd allow himself to admit it even in the silence of his own mind, he loved him, was in love with him. More the fool he, but there was no help for it. Essek Thelyss had his heart, and Bren could imagine no other person it could ever belong to.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek found himself relaxing under Bren's tending, allowing himself to focus on the feeling of fingers moving through his wet strands, soaping them and cleansing them of Adeen's violating touch. The fact that he allowed Bren to touch his locks of hair said everything about the truth of his feelings-- it meant that he considered his Pet safe in a way that was far deeper than what one should traditionally allow of their pets. The tenderness was sweet and he leaned into it much like a cat would, adoring and lapping up the affection as if he was starving for it.

There were no words for the sweetness that came out of Bren's mouth, he opened his eyes after he'd leaned back and all the soap had been washed out of his strands and the oils had been applied. He softened a bit in only a shadow of vulnerability-- once the tears had subsided to only a memory on his cheeks. ]

He wanted to propose an.. interaction between the three of us, I responded that would only be the case if I wanted my Pet diseased. That made him a bit angry. [ Essek's voice was like ice dulled, though no less deadly, even as he regarded the waters that wrapped around him ]

I feel dirty, I always do-- perhaps dirtier now that I.. that we.. that I know how-- [ Now that he understands that sex can be something that is enjoyed, that it is not what he had always believed it to be. It could be a form of control but it could also be a form of freedom.

He did not want Adeen to ruin that little happiness that he'd managed to find for himself within Bren's company; he did not want it tainted by whatever had happened this night-- and yet he still weakly leaned forward so that he could rest his forehead against Bren's shoulder, and he dripped against the other man. ] I have to endure it.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would happily lavish affection on Essek, so long as he were allowed to. He understood the level of trust that was being shown here, the quiet intimacy that he was being granted here, and he would not take it for granted. He could not resist leaning closer to press a kiss to Essek's cheek, the faint lingering taste of salt and tears catching on his lips.

A faint flicker of surprise in his expression as he heard that. Adeen suggested a threesome? He frowned, even if he huffed a brief amused breath at hearing Essek's retort. But yes, he could imagine that would not have sat well with Adeen from what he knew of the man's ego.

But more importantly was what Essek said after that, the words that continued to tear at his heart, to stoke that burning anger he felt for his Master's spouse. His arms slid around Essek to hold him as the other man leaned into him, not caring about drips or water.]

You should not have to.

[Bren murmured, low and fervent. Essek should not have to go through this, should not have to survive this every month. Or ever.]

You are back now. Away from him. And I have you.

[zauberdecke]

There was much written into the contract that I had no say in; and it was with a fight that I managed to escape all evenings but once a month; it was with the codicle that we share a residence.

[ He was sure that his mother thought that it would encapsulate the ability to work together and at least a familiarity; but that has up to this point only bred a certain sort of contempt. He slipped his arms around as much of that torso as he was able, with his arms damp. ]

You have me.. [ He repeated this as best as he was able, what it meant. He did not feel very much like a Master right now, he did not feel very much in control of anything. Varying feelings of such was normal, but it never had felt so despondent and wrong then it did now. Never until he had tasted what true companionship felt like.

His voice came out in a whisper. ]

He said that he knew that we were ah.. [ He alluded this delicately. ] Will you help me comb over my side of the residence with detect magic? [ He needed to spot anything that could be used to survey him; he needed to eradicate anything that stood to violate his privacy. ] I cannot have him spying on him, or us-- I do not want him sullying the one thing that brings me happiness.

[ausgebrannt]

[This contract was a problem, Bren thought. The fact that Essek had been bargained away in something that he did not want, to someone who so emphatically did not deserve him in the least, it continued to fester into something furious and protective in him. It was not fair, and it was not right, and his Master deserved so much better.]

Could you send me in your place? Perhaps the novelty would be enough to placate...

[Perhaps that could spare Essek for a while?

Bren's attention snapped to that next question in alarm. Did Essek believe that Adeen had some hidden scry in this place to spy on him?]

Of course I will help. [A pause and he admitted softly.] ...there is nothing in your bedchambers, at least. I have... periodically checked when I am left here to my own devices. The magic here is only yours. Your wards, the few magical tomes and items you keep, but nothing divination in nature. I am... paranoid, I think is the kindest way to put it. Though my concern was Ikithon or Da'Leth, not your husband.

[Bren fell quiet at that last part, hesitating a moment before asking, soft and tentative and hopeful.] I make you happy?

[zauberdecke]

No!

[ Even the suggestion was meant with emphatic; he would rather go to Adeen than have Bren there, the very thought turned his stomach in a way that had everything to do with a fierce protectiveness. It was huffed and utterly adamant in nature. ] He cannot harm me too much, but he could harm you and claim it an 'accident' -- or you could retaliate against him and then he could seek recourse and it would open up an entire can of worms, so to speak.

[ He was starting to find animation again, starting to find his voice within the protective circle of Bren's arms ] You do make me incredibly so.. [ Essek admitted in the softest, most gentle voice. ] It is something I want to protect, and thus I do not want him spying on us. He alluded to the fact that he had, and I would rather check to make sure that there is nothing there; if he knows he knows but I would not have him viewing our interactions unless it is on my terms.

[ And staged in such a way to enrage him in such a way ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren found himself surprised by the adamance of the reply, but perhaps he should not have. Since the first time they had met, Essek had treated him with kindness and fairness, had protected him in a way that Bren was still certain he did not deserve, could not possible deserve.

He would not argue, even if he was not worried about any harm that might come to him if it were to save his Master the pain and trauma. Bren would concede though that it was entirely possible he might not be able to keep himself from retaliating, so perhaps that was a fair point.

More importantly was that answer, in that soft, sweet tone. Bren's arms tightened around the other man. He made Essek happy. Then maybe there was some purpose for him after all.]

I am... glad. I am very very glad.

[The understatement felt so far from how he truly felt, but what words could encompass that feeling, at least what words that he was allowed to speak?]

Then we will check. And if he has planted spells to spy, we will root them out. We will make sure these rooms are a sanctuary for you, safe from his prying.

[zauberdecke]

[ No one would hurt his Pet, especially not Adeen.

There would be no arguing with Essek on that matter or score, he would guard Bren and moreso protect him from everything that could serve to hurt him-- and he was grateful that there were no further arguing from the Pet; such a route taken would've made him extremly unhappy. The tightening of arms served to comfort him, the same words that they would go through and check the rooms just in case would assist in easing his worries.

He finally shifted, feeling far more steady so that he could get out of the bathtub; he was clean now.

Unfortunately for Bren (or perhaps fortunately), Essek was still needy so as soon as he was out of the tub and betoweled, he would be glued to Bren's side once again; as if for this singular moment Bren became his rock, that balm that would soothe that which had happened within the past five hours. ] Thank you, Chathtiu.

[ It did not need to be words, not when the care that the other man wrapped him up with felt like affection. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would not dream of complaining about his Master being attached to him. Ever. Especially not tonight. He turned to press a kiss to Essek's cheek once more before reluctantly releasing him from his arms enough to step back and gather up the towel, opening it up and holding it out so that the drow could step into it -- and coincidentally right back into Bren's arms.]

Come, Master. We will get you dried off, and if you'll let me, I'll get the salve and see to those... abrasions.

[The bruises. The bitemarks. He was a wizard, and healing was entirely beyond him. Normally this was not something he fretted over, but in this moment he wished he knew some spell that could erase those reminders. He would have to rely on the old fashioned way. Salve and rest and perhaps kissing them better.

His expression softened as he added.]

There is nothing to thank me for. I am a very selfish Pet, and I am doing exactly what I wish to right now.

[zauberdecke]

I would allow you to tend to me tonight.

[ Tonight was especially what mattered most, it was all of the helplessness and vulnerability he had locked inside and now in Bren's arms, he could let himself be-- he could externalize, he'd never had that opportunity before because he had never been gifted this unique boon of someone on his side. In his life, he'd had precious little of that where he'd had to struggle upstream, continued to make that struggle because the tides were continually fighting against him.

Confusion in his eyes as he looked up at Bren, those hazed indigo eyes sinking into puzzled thought. ] How is that selfish? You are serving me in your capabilities as a Pet-- I do not find it selfish at all, in fact-- it would be the opposite of selfish.

[ Because he did not understand the very concept of love or being in love. It was at its core because he had never been given love at its purest sense; even though at this moment love was in the softness of the towel or the whispered promise of balm on his delicate skin ]

[ausgebrannt]

Good.

[Bren smiled, grateful that Essek would allow him to take care of him. It was all that he desired right now, to see that sadness and hurt soothed away as best as it can be. He wrapped the towel around Essek and went about gently drying his Master before leaving it draped over his shoulders to go retrieve the salve.

He hummed softly at the question, not interrupting his ministrations as he considered that question.]

I suppose I am serving you, ja...

[A pause to press a kiss to the edge of the drow's shoulder.]

If you say so, then it must be, mm? But I am still doing precisely what I wish.

[Dried off, ministered to, and then Bren would guide Essek back to the bedroom to get him into his bedclothes.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek's own skin tingled underneath the warmth of Bren's palms, he wanted that warmth and he wanted to inhale it and savor it-- it felt like he could go trance underneath these conditions.. almost. There was a part of him where he was still uncertain if he would be able to fall asleep-- but his limbs felt heavy regardless.

The salve had a cooling affected on skin that felt somewhat burning. It was a strange sensation, he was not used to being overly warm but it was likely due to a combination of the hot bath and the salve working together.

The drow donned his lounge clothing, getting himself comfortable with the fresh clean scent of freshly washed clothing. Though there was a bit of silence after he'd clothed himself, his hands clasped together before he started to wring them in a manner that felt a bit nervous. When he spoke, it was to voice something that would come as a surprise to Bren. ]

Would you sleep with me tonight? In my bed? [ And then it came out in a rush ] I do not want be alone tonight.. and you feel safe to me.

[ausgebrannt]

[Oh yes a very surprising thing to hear. His eyes went wide, and he had to scold his own heart for the way that skips over itself. This wasn't time for him to be excited about spending the night with Essek in his arms.

Even if he was.

The fact that his Master had phrased it as a request though, and the admission that Essek felt safe with him, melted something in Bren. His broken, tattered little heart could barely take it. He wanted that, wanted to be a haven for his Master, a comfort. He loved this man, complicated as that was. He flushed only faintly at the path his thoughts had tripped down.]

Of course. I will stay as close as you want me. Always.

[He would keep him safe, from anything that might try to come.]

[zauberdecke]

[ He had not expected a rejection, but he had phrased it as a request and not a demand all the same because it was well within his right to refuse; it also was not done he imagined-- to sleep in the same bed as your Pet, but he was not too worried about being proper. Instead he offered Bren a very real (if tentative) smile and then he walked over to the bed then to draw back the coverlet, and then he slipped inside before he waited for Bren to come in and join him.

And he was ready to curl up into Bren's side when the other man slipped underneath to join him under the covers, as if there was a gravitational pull to Bren's center of warmth. ]

I should stop saying thank you when you've already told me that there is nothing to be thanked for.

[ Every little bit of affection at this point, especially when he was so very hungry for it, was siphoned up in a manner that was new; perhaps he was always this broken after his times with Adeen but he had been forced to internalize it, never allowing it to be free but only fester. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Ja, that is true. This is the same... sleeping beside you seems to be a reward.

[That smile though, tentative as it was, that was the true reward, something that set that warm thrumming in Bren's chest all the stronger. He watched as his Master situated himself in the bed before moving to join him.

It was strange to be allowed, but he was not questioning it. Essek needed him, and he would be whatever the other man needed him to be.

The moment Essek settled against him, the drow would find himself enveloped in Bren's arms, as the ginger wizard turned onto his side to curl around him.]

May I kiss you?

[zauberdecke]

[ Settled in against Bren, he had nearly a faceful of chest hair which was not unpleasant in the slightest; however, he did shift upward to put himself more in level with his pet as he burrowed into an embrace that felt like heaven. Something about Bren carefully gaining permission for each touch seemed to endear the Pet even further to Essek.

It was acknowledgement that perhaps all touch may not be accepted, and he was grateful for that check in. ]

Please... you may kiss me.

[ He tilted his head on the pillow as if to prepare his lips for Bren's tribute, lips parted slightly as he slipped his leg between Bren's. All the while his free hand found its way against a hip that was bony but not as piercing as it had been over two weeks ago.

Still there was a way to go though before Essek would be content with Bren's weight. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren wanted to be certain, did not want to push Essek for something he did not wish. Especially now, especially after the evening his Master had had. If the drow needed to be held and nothing more, then Bren's arms were ready and willing. But he smiled at the permission, ducking his head to press a kiss to those lips.

It was a soft, tender contact, a tribute indeed, all affection that did not bother to disguise itself as anything else. It was brief, barely a touch at all, but it was followed on by a second contact, the same gentle touch but lingering this time.

His legs shifted to welcome the tangling of their limbs. One hand splayed against the small of his Master's back, holding them close together.]

[zauberdecke]

[ It was an intimacies that Essek was still getting used to, the soft touch of lips to lips-- but likewise it was also one that he had an inherent craving for, that contact of mouth that tasted like his Pet-- a sweet golden flavor that combined with the firelight in the hair and the deepest blue of those eyes.

He was fond, despite himself-- he was fond.

And also, this was preferable to what he'd had with Adeen, there was no way in which he felt unsafe or threatened, certainly not even a touch of violation in the contact. If he said 'stop' he knew that Bren would back away, and give him such sad guilty 'I did not mean to' eyes that would break his heart perhaps a little bit in that Essek never liked to see the other man frown or unhappy in any way. And even when Essek punished him, he could see that it gave him a purpose and a strange sort of twisted joy.

Essek would do whatever it took to make sure that the soft gentle look stayed on that visage. So he sank in the kiss, lips parting and tongue searching while he attempted to snuggle in closer, as if he could climb inside the other man in a purely emotional way and make himself one with him. That was the core, wasn't it? That Essek wanted to be emotionally as tight with Bren as it was possible to be. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Gods but he loved kissing this man, and he could lose himself in it so very easily. But he would not let himself be lost tonight, paying close attention to Essek and how he reacted, to make sure that his Master was at ease. He wanted to be that comfort for him.

He also wanted to find a way to get rid of Adeen, but that plotting could wait for another time.

He did take that invitation of parted lips though, letting his tongue find a slow slide along Essek's. His arms tightened around the other man, pulling the two of them closer. This was his first time joining his Master in his bed, and oh he liked it. The knowledge that he would be able to fall asleep with the drow wrapped up in his arms, that was beautiful. Thrilling. He would likely yearn to be exactly here from now on. So much for sleeping in his cot.]

[zauberdecke]

[ It was likely that between the two of them, they could get rid of the thorns in their sides, but for right now Essek did not want to think of anyone save for the comfort and safety of Bren, of that warm mouth that made him nearly unseasonably warm in return-- but not uncomfortably so. Right now he was at a nice cozy setting, with Bren's arms around him and that mouth speaking silent kisses against his own mouth.

It was like unvoiced poetry to him.

And Essek had never been one for poetry or romance.

But he was starting to come around to the concept of it, of companionship and embraces- and while he still did not believe in happily ever afters.. at the very least he could be comfortable here in this space that he and his Pet shared. Also, it was alright to become spoiled-- Essek was growing quite accustomed to Bren's presence, and his admittance to bed was an unlooked for treasure trove of safety.

At the moment though, he wanted cuddling and the intimacy that came with that-- slow langurous kisses until the two of them fell asleep. Though he did allow himself the luxury of his fingers curling through Bren's unbound hair, filling that fire ripple through him. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren murmured a soft, wordless sound to Essek's lips. Though they had proven time and again that they were certainly able to spark an intense desire between one another, that they were compatible on a carnal level, this was different. The desire was there, yes, would always be, but stronger now was the emotional connection, the desire to be close in a way that was warmth and safety and belonging.

He'd been given to his Master by one of the worst people that he had ever known, and perhaps he should have resented that. But no, Essek had proven to be so much more than Bren could have ever imagined, ever had hoped. This was where he belonged.

He broke from that kiss to rest his forehead against the other man's.]

You should rest, ja? It has been a long night.

[And then, pushing his luck, perhaps.]

Tomorrow, do you have engagements? Or can we have a quiet day? Another bath, perhaps, some time in the library?

[zauberdecke]

[ He had not taken a day off in a while. In the two plush weeks that Bren had known Essek, he had gone to the office every day, and while he had quiet evenings spent reading, there was never a real day of rest for the Drow.. and it was hard to say how long that had been going on. He heard that simple request, and he furrowed his brows in thought for a moment as he mentally calculated exactly what he had to do tomorrow. If he had any pressing appointments with key members of the Queen's court, well he'd have to go in.. but he realized he did not.

It was true that Bren was getting spoiled, for the words that came out of Essek's mouth was quiet and perhaps unexpected but clear. ]

I do not see a problem with that, it's been years since I've given myself a.. whole day off. [ There had been too much too prove, expectations to surpass.. his own and his mother's. Everyone took days off in the city, except for himself so perhaps he could allow himself a little holiday as a treat.

And perhaps he may extend it past a day and into two-- he was so very tired and worn down by everything and maybe he needed a bit of a recharge. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Ja? Good. Very good.

[Bren was thrilled with this idea, knowing that Essek would actually allow himself to relax. After what he'd been through tonight, Bren thought it would do him good. And it would give the broken Volstrucker the chance to see what he could do to pamper and relax his Master.

It was time that Essek was taken care of, was cared for in the way that his owner had been caring for him all this time. Bren had decided that this would be his mission now.

He smiled and stole another kiss.]

Then we will have a quiet day. It will be nice. I am glad.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek settled into those arms, suddenly feeling a great deal of weight drop from his shoulders. He rested his head within the crook of Bren's neck. His body started to hum-- and this time Bren would be able to hear it close up, the rumble of it, the way that Essek's body denoted that it was to start it's trance soon. Often times it was a switch that he could turn on and off, but not this night.

This night, his body was not giving him any choice.

Sleep was regenerative, and perhaps this night's trance would be a dreamless affair that mimiced sleep more than it did his need to go into his Mind Palace. At this moment they were twined at key points and with little to separate them.

It was a blessing and he could feel himself drift off to the soft breath of Bren against his cheek. ] Me too.. I.. do not want any other Pet but you.

[ It was high praise, it meant that Essek would not go searching for another. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[It was high praise, and it had that ache starting in Bren's chest again, that wash of relief that Essek did indeed want him, that he would not be discarded or replaced. His arms tightened around him reflexively, and he turned to brush his lips against his temple.]

I am yours, Master. Only yours. I will never belong to anyone else.

[A quiet vow. And perhaps one day Essek would tire of him, would grow bored of him -- and Bren would never fault him for it. But he'd gone and lost his heart to the drow, and there was no help for it. Then again he wouldn't change it if he could.]

Rest now.