"Broken Shards"

[zauberdecke]

"In the dark
I need to taste the blood
Go on, draw another line
We can cross this time."
- Blindfold by Sleeping Wolf

---



[ Essek Thelyss: Shadowhand to the Dynasty.

One who reached further then the Luxon would allow, who would do absolutely anything for knowledge. Oh no, the man did not care for power, not really. He wanted to cast himself into the portal of knowing, he wanted to surrender himself to books and learning without having to deal with the mundanities of socio-politics that all of the Kryn engaged in. It was tedious and it filled him with sickness even as he plastered on an urbane smile for all and sundry to see.

Within the Dynasty, it was customary to take pets of the Empire; they were brought in across the border of Asarius, across the mountains and into the Dynasty. There were Dynasty born pets on the other side, both lost to the ravages of the other's civilization, generally never to be seen again.

Essek had never really had an interest to begin with when it came to pets; at the market he carefully avoided the slave blocks where those not of the Dynasty were paraded around. However, it had come to this-- it had come to his trading of the Beacon, and in return he recieved a Volstrucker to serve him. And yet, for all of that, Essek Thelyss had not thought he would receive a broken Volstrucker.

In fair trade, he and recieved a dossier on the man in question and had perused it with only a small semblance of annoyance while Trent Ikithon had assured him that a man like him could be rebuilt, the honeyed words of a silken snake which Essek recognized.

After all did not a predator recognize another predator? So now he held in his household a man whom had to be guarded carefully, though Essek was not cruel despite how he imagined Dynasty pets were treated, the cage that he had placed this Volstrucker named Bren within, well it was comfortable-- he'd seen pictures of Vergossen so he supposed it must be far better than that place. But he had not precisely interacted with him-- most of his unseen servants were given the walking of him, the care and maintenance of him.

Perhaps because he did not precisely know what to do with him, or what use he had for something broken. Though he arguably did not know what manner of broken the Volstrucker was, but after a week-- he decided perhaps it was time to summon him and see for himself; acertain what sort of work was cut out for him.

If this man was worth putting back together again.

So it was one evening, he had the Empire man summoned to his chambers. ]

Comments

[ausgebrannt]

[Late or not, Bren was wide-awake and on his feet in an instant when that door opened. He'd had the bath ready to go and had a strange one-sided conversation with the unseen servant to make sure that the tub would start being filled the moment Essek showed any sign of return.

Bren meanwhile was headed to the door to meet his Master, though he pulled up short at the sight of him. He had never seen Essek look so small before, and even if he would have thought it impossible to despise Adeen more, here he was with a new and impressively strong surge of loathing.

Shaking himself out of it, he closed the rest of the distance between them.]

Master?

[Softly, reaching out slowly, cautiously in case Essek was totally averse to any touch at the moment, to take the drow's arm gently.]

Are you all right? Are you hurt? [Can Bren plot a way to murder Adeen? Too bad he was.] The bath is filling. Come?

[zauberdecke]

[ His eyes focused for a moment, very briefly. He looked up at Bren who was inching into his space carefully. There was a shudder of something at the touch though he relaxed as it was gentle, it was soothing and he reminded himself that he did not have to endure this for another month. The days would tick down though, they always did. ]

It's only once a month.

[ He repeated this carefully but he allowed himself be drawn toward the bathroom where he could hear the bathtub running.

He wanted to search the room, tear it apart and he dare not speak of this outloud, not yet. He would find a piece of paper and he would write it down-- but later, bath first then he could spend time tearing down wards and then rebuilding them up. ] I.. may have a few bruises, I think..?

[ausgebrannt]

Once ever is once too often.

[Bren half growled the words, but despite the tone in his voice, his touch was gentle, careful, hand settling against Essek's back softly, tenderly. He was here. And he had him.

And he would find a way to see that Adeen would no longer be a problem. Somehow.

To the bathroom where he set his hands gently at the fastenings of his Master's simple black clothing.]

May I?

[He would do nothing to cross a line that Essek was not comfortable with given the state that the other man seemed to be in. Bren longed to make it better, to take care of him, to soothe away the hurt that had been done to him.

The bath had been set up and scented with the oils that he knew were Essek's favorites, towels already set out for when he was finished, a gentle steam rising from the tub as the hot water filled it.]

[zauberdecke]

[ It was hard to remember things as his entire life had narrowed into the four hours; he had been about to say that it was never that long. Usually two hours, but then he nearly melted at the sight of the bath; it wasn't just the sight of it but it was the scent of it too-- the comforting rush of the water. His need to get into those waters had very little bearing on perceived modesty.

The drow nodded, a very brief soundless nod of permission for Bren to remove the robes.

When the robe slipped away, Bren would see places where Adeen had perhaps gripped too hard and left bruises, there were also angry teeth marks on the shoulder. If Bren were to check him in great detail, he would notice that Essek had blood under his fingernails that were decidedly Adeen's, he had absolutely taken a pound of flesh out in retaliation.

As for the other stuff? He had prestidigitated the worst of it away.

But he allowed Bren to care for him, to exhibit that delicate tenderness; there was no inclination in him to push his Pet away and he would allow for Bren in a switch of roles to gently attend to him. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[These particular robes were removed carefully and then tossed into a pile in the corner. No care afforded them, not for what they stood for. He would see that they were properly taken to be washed. Perhaps boiled.

He brushed his fingers feather-light over bruised skin, just beneath a bite mark.]

I despise him.

[In case there was any question lingering about that. But more important right now was the man in front of him, not the bastard who'd treated his Master this way. Bren stepped back, but took up Essek's hands to guide and help ease him into the waiting hot water.]

I will find the salve for the bruises.

[Quieter.]

May I wash you?

[zauberdecke]

[ Hatred was a powerful thing, it was what Essek had survived on for so long. It was not the fiery passionate angry that would typify Bren's entire existence-- no, this one was removed and cold, and it grew colder still with the time that passed. He understood despising Adeen, and those words registered-- a thread by which Essek clung to.

It was hard to speak, to show emotion however.

But it was clear that he was holding on by the narrowest of threads, it was in the way that his normally ramrod straight posture hunched just a little bit. After he was helped into the bath, he curled into himself so that he appeared smaller-- made himself smaller in the waters of the bath, like he was a speck of a drow floundering in a sea of suds.

And then he nodded in acknowledgement to the question, then he found his voice and spoke in as much of a dignified tone as he was able to. ] Siyo-- [ Yes... ]

[ Maybe Bren would teach him his language, he would like to converse in a way that would not be deciphered by Adeen, he would ask-- once he got his bearings about him. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Thank you.

[Soft and murmured gently, and Bren moved to take up the bath poof and the soap, pouring enough to create a lather, the soft scent of jasmine rising in the air. He paused briefly to lean in and press a kiss to Essek's shoulder, soft and sweet.]

Tell me if there is anything you need. I will get it, whatever it is.

[For now though he began washing Essek's back and shoulders, mindful of bite marks, wanting to cause no further pain, and to bring up no further reminder of any of it. He took his time, mindful, attentive and slow. He wanted to wash Adeen away entirely, even if he knew it was not possible.]

[zauberdecke]

[ He sat there in the waters, close to the edge.. to where Bren could get to him with the bath poof. He felt the softest tribute of a kiss, felt the warmth of the other man's words-- how he very carefully stepped in to be protective of him. Essek Thelyss had never had someone advocate for him like, had always had to be self-sufficient and reliant.

He'd born through so much of these months, ten years of them-- and each of them had been stored within him until this moment. For all that he had kept himself stoic, it was a prolonged act of gentleness that caused him to break.

Tears came to his eyes, barely shed as they caught in the white of his lashes. ]

Hair.. he gripped my hair, please.. wash it?

[ His hair was personal and despite his married state-- to have Adeen touch it always felt like the deepest violation. He was crying now but he'd blame it on the steam coming up from the bathtub even though it would be easily seen that was not the case ]

[ausgebrannt]

[And Bren was thorough with the washing, making a full check of Essek's body as he did, a catalogue of the sins that Adeen had committed that Bren would see him atone for. He saw the blood under those perfectly manicured fingers, and spent a moment massaging those hands gently too, to be certain they were clean.

His eyes widened briefly at the request for washing his hair. Essek had told him the sacrosanct nature of hair in Kryn culture, in one of their first meetings when his Master had justified the fact that as his Pet, Bren's hair was meant to be played with by his owner. Still he didn't let on at all any piece of that reaction now.

Nor did he react at the sight of those tears, though they tore at his heart, an ache that yearned to dry those tears and revive that smile that he loved so much on those pretty lips. He murmured a soft.]

Of course.

[Of course he would wash his Master's hair. And now he reached for the nearby pitcher to fill it with water. His other hand settled at the nape of Essek's neck.]

Lean back for me?

[zauberdecke]

[ There was a level of obedience to Essek as he followed the instruction and leaned back, being very docile in how he was accepting of the ministrations, of the water and the patient and gentle washing. The poof moving up and down his body and lathering him, cleaning him-- and then he prepared for the sluice of waters to roll through his locks of white.

It was true that hair was untouchable in the Dynasty; but he was allowing Bren to wash the hair; he was allowing this intimacy which was only reserved for people who were trusted, who were close.

In a way, it was showing Bren that the drow trusted him far more than he trusted anyone, that he could rely on Bren to be delicate with his normally pristine hair.

The thing was that Bren did not want sympathy; he wanted to be cared for but he did not want a fuss to be made over him aside from the nurturing ministrations of his Pet. It was because he still was a creature of pride and there was much that he was allowing in this moment to let the other man see him at such a vulnerable and weak state.

It strengthened that bond further. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren lets his fingers run carefully through that beautiful white hair, to make sure that it was fully saturated. He set down the pitcher and reached instead for the shampoo, fingers finding their way back into his hair once more, this time working up a lather carefully. A gentle massage against that scalp, and he hummed softly. He barely realized he was doing it, an old tune coming to mind, something that his mother would sing to him when he was young and hurt.

Eventually he would urge his Master to lean back once more so that he could work to rinse the lather from his hair, careful to keep form getting soap in his eyes -- those eyes are teary enough.]

There...

[Another quiet murmur, voice low and gentle.]

That's better. And here...

[He found the scented oil meant for keeping hair soft, the one that he was very familiar with being what Essek used by scent alone and began to work that through short strands carefully.]

Your hair is beautiful. Like starlight.

[All of Essek was beautiful. And oh Bren realized, not for the first time, but perhaps for the first time he'd allow himself to admit it even in the silence of his own mind, he loved him, was in love with him. More the fool he, but there was no help for it. Essek Thelyss had his heart, and Bren could imagine no other person it could ever belong to.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek found himself relaxing under Bren's tending, allowing himself to focus on the feeling of fingers moving through his wet strands, soaping them and cleansing them of Adeen's violating touch. The fact that he allowed Bren to touch his locks of hair said everything about the truth of his feelings-- it meant that he considered his Pet safe in a way that was far deeper than what one should traditionally allow of their pets. The tenderness was sweet and he leaned into it much like a cat would, adoring and lapping up the affection as if he was starving for it.

There were no words for the sweetness that came out of Bren's mouth, he opened his eyes after he'd leaned back and all the soap had been washed out of his strands and the oils had been applied. He softened a bit in only a shadow of vulnerability-- once the tears had subsided to only a memory on his cheeks. ]

He wanted to propose an.. interaction between the three of us, I responded that would only be the case if I wanted my Pet diseased. That made him a bit angry. [ Essek's voice was like ice dulled, though no less deadly, even as he regarded the waters that wrapped around him ]

I feel dirty, I always do-- perhaps dirtier now that I.. that we.. that I know how-- [ Now that he understands that sex can be something that is enjoyed, that it is not what he had always believed it to be. It could be a form of control but it could also be a form of freedom.

He did not want Adeen to ruin that little happiness that he'd managed to find for himself within Bren's company; he did not want it tainted by whatever had happened this night-- and yet he still weakly leaned forward so that he could rest his forehead against Bren's shoulder, and he dripped against the other man. ] I have to endure it.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would happily lavish affection on Essek, so long as he were allowed to. He understood the level of trust that was being shown here, the quiet intimacy that he was being granted here, and he would not take it for granted. He could not resist leaning closer to press a kiss to Essek's cheek, the faint lingering taste of salt and tears catching on his lips.

A faint flicker of surprise in his expression as he heard that. Adeen suggested a threesome? He frowned, even if he huffed a brief amused breath at hearing Essek's retort. But yes, he could imagine that would not have sat well with Adeen from what he knew of the man's ego.

But more importantly was what Essek said after that, the words that continued to tear at his heart, to stoke that burning anger he felt for his Master's spouse. His arms slid around Essek to hold him as the other man leaned into him, not caring about drips or water.]

You should not have to.

[Bren murmured, low and fervent. Essek should not have to go through this, should not have to survive this every month. Or ever.]

You are back now. Away from him. And I have you.

[zauberdecke]

There was much written into the contract that I had no say in; and it was with a fight that I managed to escape all evenings but once a month; it was with the codicle that we share a residence.

[ He was sure that his mother thought that it would encapsulate the ability to work together and at least a familiarity; but that has up to this point only bred a certain sort of contempt. He slipped his arms around as much of that torso as he was able, with his arms damp. ]

You have me.. [ He repeated this as best as he was able, what it meant. He did not feel very much like a Master right now, he did not feel very much in control of anything. Varying feelings of such was normal, but it never had felt so despondent and wrong then it did now. Never until he had tasted what true companionship felt like.

His voice came out in a whisper. ]

He said that he knew that we were ah.. [ He alluded this delicately. ] Will you help me comb over my side of the residence with detect magic? [ He needed to spot anything that could be used to survey him; he needed to eradicate anything that stood to violate his privacy. ] I cannot have him spying on him, or us-- I do not want him sullying the one thing that brings me happiness.

[ausgebrannt]

[This contract was a problem, Bren thought. The fact that Essek had been bargained away in something that he did not want, to someone who so emphatically did not deserve him in the least, it continued to fester into something furious and protective in him. It was not fair, and it was not right, and his Master deserved so much better.]

Could you send me in your place? Perhaps the novelty would be enough to placate...

[Perhaps that could spare Essek for a while?

Bren's attention snapped to that next question in alarm. Did Essek believe that Adeen had some hidden scry in this place to spy on him?]

Of course I will help. [A pause and he admitted softly.] ...there is nothing in your bedchambers, at least. I have... periodically checked when I am left here to my own devices. The magic here is only yours. Your wards, the few magical tomes and items you keep, but nothing divination in nature. I am... paranoid, I think is the kindest way to put it. Though my concern was Ikithon or Da'Leth, not your husband.

[Bren fell quiet at that last part, hesitating a moment before asking, soft and tentative and hopeful.] I make you happy?

[zauberdecke]

No!

[ Even the suggestion was meant with emphatic; he would rather go to Adeen than have Bren there, the very thought turned his stomach in a way that had everything to do with a fierce protectiveness. It was huffed and utterly adamant in nature. ] He cannot harm me too much, but he could harm you and claim it an 'accident' -- or you could retaliate against him and then he could seek recourse and it would open up an entire can of worms, so to speak.

[ He was starting to find animation again, starting to find his voice within the protective circle of Bren's arms ] You do make me incredibly so.. [ Essek admitted in the softest, most gentle voice. ] It is something I want to protect, and thus I do not want him spying on us. He alluded to the fact that he had, and I would rather check to make sure that there is nothing there; if he knows he knows but I would not have him viewing our interactions unless it is on my terms.

[ And staged in such a way to enrage him in such a way ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren found himself surprised by the adamance of the reply, but perhaps he should not have. Since the first time they had met, Essek had treated him with kindness and fairness, had protected him in a way that Bren was still certain he did not deserve, could not possible deserve.

He would not argue, even if he was not worried about any harm that might come to him if it were to save his Master the pain and trauma. Bren would concede though that it was entirely possible he might not be able to keep himself from retaliating, so perhaps that was a fair point.

More importantly was that answer, in that soft, sweet tone. Bren's arms tightened around the other man. He made Essek happy. Then maybe there was some purpose for him after all.]

I am... glad. I am very very glad.

[The understatement felt so far from how he truly felt, but what words could encompass that feeling, at least what words that he was allowed to speak?]

Then we will check. And if he has planted spells to spy, we will root them out. We will make sure these rooms are a sanctuary for you, safe from his prying.

[zauberdecke]

[ No one would hurt his Pet, especially not Adeen.

There would be no arguing with Essek on that matter or score, he would guard Bren and moreso protect him from everything that could serve to hurt him-- and he was grateful that there were no further arguing from the Pet; such a route taken would've made him extremly unhappy. The tightening of arms served to comfort him, the same words that they would go through and check the rooms just in case would assist in easing his worries.

He finally shifted, feeling far more steady so that he could get out of the bathtub; he was clean now.

Unfortunately for Bren (or perhaps fortunately), Essek was still needy so as soon as he was out of the tub and betoweled, he would be glued to Bren's side once again; as if for this singular moment Bren became his rock, that balm that would soothe that which had happened within the past five hours. ] Thank you, Chathtiu.

[ It did not need to be words, not when the care that the other man wrapped him up with felt like affection. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would not dream of complaining about his Master being attached to him. Ever. Especially not tonight. He turned to press a kiss to Essek's cheek once more before reluctantly releasing him from his arms enough to step back and gather up the towel, opening it up and holding it out so that the drow could step into it -- and coincidentally right back into Bren's arms.]

Come, Master. We will get you dried off, and if you'll let me, I'll get the salve and see to those... abrasions.

[The bruises. The bitemarks. He was a wizard, and healing was entirely beyond him. Normally this was not something he fretted over, but in this moment he wished he knew some spell that could erase those reminders. He would have to rely on the old fashioned way. Salve and rest and perhaps kissing them better.

His expression softened as he added.]

There is nothing to thank me for. I am a very selfish Pet, and I am doing exactly what I wish to right now.

[zauberdecke]

I would allow you to tend to me tonight.

[ Tonight was especially what mattered most, it was all of the helplessness and vulnerability he had locked inside and now in Bren's arms, he could let himself be-- he could externalize, he'd never had that opportunity before because he had never been gifted this unique boon of someone on his side. In his life, he'd had precious little of that where he'd had to struggle upstream, continued to make that struggle because the tides were continually fighting against him.

Confusion in his eyes as he looked up at Bren, those hazed indigo eyes sinking into puzzled thought. ] How is that selfish? You are serving me in your capabilities as a Pet-- I do not find it selfish at all, in fact-- it would be the opposite of selfish.

[ Because he did not understand the very concept of love or being in love. It was at its core because he had never been given love at its purest sense; even though at this moment love was in the softness of the towel or the whispered promise of balm on his delicate skin ]

[ausgebrannt]

Good.

[Bren smiled, grateful that Essek would allow him to take care of him. It was all that he desired right now, to see that sadness and hurt soothed away as best as it can be. He wrapped the towel around Essek and went about gently drying his Master before leaving it draped over his shoulders to go retrieve the salve.

He hummed softly at the question, not interrupting his ministrations as he considered that question.]

I suppose I am serving you, ja...

[A pause to press a kiss to the edge of the drow's shoulder.]

If you say so, then it must be, mm? But I am still doing precisely what I wish.

[Dried off, ministered to, and then Bren would guide Essek back to the bedroom to get him into his bedclothes.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek's own skin tingled underneath the warmth of Bren's palms, he wanted that warmth and he wanted to inhale it and savor it-- it felt like he could go trance underneath these conditions.. almost. There was a part of him where he was still uncertain if he would be able to fall asleep-- but his limbs felt heavy regardless.

The salve had a cooling affected on skin that felt somewhat burning. It was a strange sensation, he was not used to being overly warm but it was likely due to a combination of the hot bath and the salve working together.

The drow donned his lounge clothing, getting himself comfortable with the fresh clean scent of freshly washed clothing. Though there was a bit of silence after he'd clothed himself, his hands clasped together before he started to wring them in a manner that felt a bit nervous. When he spoke, it was to voice something that would come as a surprise to Bren. ]

Would you sleep with me tonight? In my bed? [ And then it came out in a rush ] I do not want be alone tonight.. and you feel safe to me.

[ausgebrannt]

[Oh yes a very surprising thing to hear. His eyes went wide, and he had to scold his own heart for the way that skips over itself. This wasn't time for him to be excited about spending the night with Essek in his arms.

Even if he was.

The fact that his Master had phrased it as a request though, and the admission that Essek felt safe with him, melted something in Bren. His broken, tattered little heart could barely take it. He wanted that, wanted to be a haven for his Master, a comfort. He loved this man, complicated as that was. He flushed only faintly at the path his thoughts had tripped down.]

Of course. I will stay as close as you want me. Always.

[He would keep him safe, from anything that might try to come.]

[zauberdecke]

[ He had not expected a rejection, but he had phrased it as a request and not a demand all the same because it was well within his right to refuse; it also was not done he imagined-- to sleep in the same bed as your Pet, but he was not too worried about being proper. Instead he offered Bren a very real (if tentative) smile and then he walked over to the bed then to draw back the coverlet, and then he slipped inside before he waited for Bren to come in and join him.

And he was ready to curl up into Bren's side when the other man slipped underneath to join him under the covers, as if there was a gravitational pull to Bren's center of warmth. ]

I should stop saying thank you when you've already told me that there is nothing to be thanked for.

[ Every little bit of affection at this point, especially when he was so very hungry for it, was siphoned up in a manner that was new; perhaps he was always this broken after his times with Adeen but he had been forced to internalize it, never allowing it to be free but only fester. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Ja, that is true. This is the same... sleeping beside you seems to be a reward.

[That smile though, tentative as it was, that was the true reward, something that set that warm thrumming in Bren's chest all the stronger. He watched as his Master situated himself in the bed before moving to join him.

It was strange to be allowed, but he was not questioning it. Essek needed him, and he would be whatever the other man needed him to be.

The moment Essek settled against him, the drow would find himself enveloped in Bren's arms, as the ginger wizard turned onto his side to curl around him.]

May I kiss you?