giveanything: (009)
[personal profile] giveanything posting in [community profile] gremlinhaus
"Bless me father, for I have sinned," the words tumbled past his lips, ingrained in the well worn pathways of his memory from the years he'd spent in catechism and as an altar boy. Not that Liam was devout anymore -- how could he be, given what he'd become, given what he did and continued to do. The confessional booth was small and dark, light filtering in only dimly through the door and its screen that kept him hidden from the sanctuary beyond and from the priest he assumed would be on the other side.

"It has been... a very long time since my last confession."

What was he doing here? This was ridiculous. He couldn't possibly expect forgiveness and absolution. There had to be true repentance for that, real contrition, and Liam knew he couldn't manage either. He hated what he did, despised every moment of it, but he wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop. The price for disobeying was far too severe, and he would not be the one to pay it. The price for his disobedience and his failure would be paid by his brother, and he couldn't live with that.

So William had made his choice, made it again and again, putting that one life ahead of so many others. And oh he was good at what he did, talented at ruining people, in shattering whatever it was in a human being that kept their souls in place, until they were ready to throw it away. His watcher commended him for it, in a sick and sadistic sort of amusement.

Today's lost soul had been... fuck. It had been hard. She was young, barely nineteen, and her road had already been a hard one. He'd played the game with her for the past few weeks, insinuating darkness and doubt into the cracks of that already-battered soul. Today. Today she'd shattered, and there would be no recovering from it. Another soul for the demon who owned him.

He could feel the panic rising up in his chest, cold and hard and threatening to freeze his lungs so he couldn't draw in enough breath. In the dimness and silence of the confessional, all the carefully constructed walls and facades trembled and fell away. Gone were the easy smiles and quite literal devil-may-care attitude, all the charisma and charm that he relied on in his cursed excuse for a job. It was him and his breathing and the silence and the faceless priest in the chamber beside him. Liam wondered if he could hear the panic in his breathing.

"I... sorry. This was a mistake. I should go. I'm sorry, Father, for wasting your time."

Date: 2025-05-26 05:06 am (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (Default)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
If there was any way that Liam could've endeared himself to Riley any more, it was that. A beautiful tendril of humanity within him, how he uttered that historical fact as if it was something near and dear to his heart. He thought that perhaps there was a deeper story but he would not pry.. yet. Perhaps a little bit later he would have Liam tell him more ghost stories about the dormitory, and the general vicinity of Saintsmourn, it felt like the place may be a hive of ghostly activity.

But the next words caused the smile to freeze there, before it cracked into something moreso a frown, his brows knitting together.

"What did you sell your soul for?" he asked this. He did not call the other man crazy, but he knew well from what he'd read about that contracts were a give and take sort of deal and Liam must've received something in return.

Date: 2025-05-26 05:41 am (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (3)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
Riley gives the other man the blessing of a listening hear while the story is told calmly and methodically. Though the truth was spoken without evident feeling, he could tell that there was much that was still locked up underneath the surface.

Most people would use such a contract for their own gain, but Liam had-- well, he had brought back the one he loved with such a heavy price. And now this, he was indebted to a being that he could not control, to some sort of evil-- over a choice that he had known would be what it was. A choice that a young one should never have had to make.

"While the price was high, you chose your brother. I think that if I had been presented with a choice at such a young age, I would have taken it too." he said this quietly as he fiddles with the brown paper wrap around the sandwiches; he'd made them look pretty but he rather thought that this was not something that you just ate lunch to. It felt almost sacrilege.

Date: 2025-05-26 06:10 am (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (7)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
This too was a confession, but in this moment Riley spoke to Liam as a fellow brother and not as Father Riley who was still new at his craft, he laid his hand over Liam's in a gesture of comfort while he spoke. "Little brothers are like that, they will do things and follow one around like a puppy and not have a care for the danger."

Even more carefully, the note of reassuring entering his voice. "Think of nature as our confessional booth, what you've spoken to me shall not be mentioned to Patrick." he would keep that particular confidence. "So there is nothing you can do about the contract?"

Date: 2025-05-26 06:26 am (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (11)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
Remember, you cannot save everyone---

But you have to try---


He had always tried to save everything, as a young child he had read stories of chivalry and of knights on holy quests, and that had sparked something within him. He had wanted to be a hero who made a difference, he did not want glory and fame, but the simple knowledge that he had tried and succeeded in some cases, that through his actions there were people who could live a little bit brighter.

Perhaps that was the never-ending idealism in him but while that spark was contained, it did not go away so easily. "There has to be something, contracts often have loopholes."

Date: 2025-05-26 02:02 pm (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (9)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
This was comfort, this was only comfort at it's most common denominator. His fingers took the bolder route and squeezed those fingers as if to let him know that he was here whenever the other man needed to listen. But-- he was already thinking of ways to save him, as if he had finally found a crusade, something to fight for.

"Everyone can be saved."

And coming from those lips, did not not seem like such a wonderful dream?

Riley pulled back his hand then but not before leaving the memory of their touch in their wake. "You have saved your brother, I think that it is about time someone came in on your side."

Date: 2025-05-26 05:04 pm (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (11)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
There was silence between the two of them as they each unwrapped their sandwiches.

Each pulled into their own world replete with their own thoughts and musings. For Riley, the word 'stop them' screeched to the forefront; it meant that likely Liam had tried to-- well the thought seemed almost untenable. But he did not want to voice those words as he knew that there was a layer of sensitivity just underneath the surface.

"Once you break bread with someone, that symbolizes a fellowship of sorts." he would not speak of brotherhood though that word also had been a possibility. "So I cannot help but feel like I should do something, or make an attempt-- I am not the type who can sit back and watch something unfold."

Date: 2025-05-27 01:25 am (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (4)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
Riley had only read of things that inherently romantic in fairy stories, the way that Liam spoke about him as if he was a light-- he did not necessarily see it nor could he fathom it-- especially not when he had more than enough of his temptations swirling around in there.

"You make it out that I am much more than I actually am." he said as he brought his sandwich to his mouth.. only a little self conscious by those words and the distracting brown eyes that seemed to look into his very soul.

"But I will not turn you away, if my light gives you comfort then you may stay and bask in it as long as you dare wish." he did not know this contract keeper but already he was not a fan of him already. Once he balanced his sandwhich on his knee, he took out the little carafe of lemonade that was airtight sealed in a milk bottle and attempted to pour very carefully without upsetting his sandwhich. "So do you come here often because it gives you peace of sorts?"

Date: 2025-05-27 02:46 am (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (2)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
Riley did not like to play the holier-than- thou game that many in the clergy played. Father Mullins was a bit different, he was a man that all priests should aspire to be and he had taken Riley underneath his wings, perhaps it was easy to practice tolerance and peace toward all.. to understand that human nature was part and parcel of the experience.

"I think that you are brave for not jumping, sometimes the hardest thing you can do is to choose to live." he glanced out to the ocean, the wind whipping his locks of blonde every which way, he felt like there should be a sharing to this; it felt intimate and right. "When I was a child, I was bullied for preferring to cook and play house with the girls then engaging in sports with the other boys, and even though I do have athletic preferences, such as swimming.. it was not something that I could show others at school and when I was in my teenage years, there were a few points where I grew so depressed that thoughts did cross my head" he glanced over at Liam.

"I do not want to compare it to your situation but only to tell you that you are not alone."

Date: 2025-05-27 04:28 pm (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (8)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
The touch was so impossibly gentle.

And yet it was charged with those motes of attraction that rippled between the both of them; attraction was something that Riley felt often on a more visual way-- able to appreciate men though with the express knowledge that he could not touch, and he was fine with that. He did not need to touch to appreciate art at it's core; humans were made to be beautiful in all their imperfections.

But this attraction was bone deep, he felt it underneath the surface. It vibrated through his marrow and deep within to some holy sanctuary where Liam's steps wandered to the beat of his heart. "Surviving can be difficult but there is always someone who will miss you."

Date: 2025-05-28 12:56 am (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (3)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
And yet, Riley did not pull away.

Everything within him thought that perhaps he should, that this was dangerous and he was playing with fire. The question as to if he would miss Liam felt loaded and heavy betwixt them, his tongue darted out to graze against his own lower lip. Not in anticipation, but in thought. Perhaps he was also mesmerized by the touch that was so gentle and so reverent. He had not gotten sin off of it, but a certain holiness.

How could he answer the question, how should he?

"Everyone deserves someone that would miss them... even those who think that they are evil when really they have been misguided." oh but Riley was stubborn, gentle but stubborn and insistant that Liam deserved better, that he did not ask for this-- that he had been taken advantage as a small child.

Date: 2025-05-28 02:35 am (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (6)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
Right now Liam was temptation, the most indolent of temptations that could have ever existed-- set in the molten combination of whiskey and chocolate within those eyes. He felt himself shiver as the pull felt nearly impossible, like a string that was pulling him closer and closer-- and perhaps he did find his way but a few inches closer as he was sucked into the gravity that danced from every pore of the other man.

And then he remembered himself, reaching into the basket to break the spell.

He had to break the spell, his willpower needed to be thorough and complete because Liam was a heady addictive dream the way that his body seemed to vibrate with each shadowed breath.

Out came the bag of cookies and he said rather hoarsely. "Cookies?"

Date: 2025-05-28 12:57 pm (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <lj user=hiraethe> (14)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
They had cookies between them now, that would at least break the spell that Liam had cast over him. But the attraction was very mutual, and it would be hard for him to hide it. It was not even a physical thing, he could have dealt with the physical side of things as he had before-- but there was something both profound and inherently profane in the way his skin seemed to tense with energy, contract with awareness.

Riley had a terrible poker face.

He concentrated on the chocolate chip cookie which had been given to him fresh by one of the nuns in the cafeteria who had taken him under her wing to feed the Priest. So Riley was given extras of all the baked goods since it had been noted that he had a riotous sweet tooth.

"The summer before seminary, myself and one of the guys I was on the swim team with decided to take a weekend camping trip and well.." he gestured a little bit. "A kiss happened." A lot more than a kiss had happened, it had been his last hurrah before seminary.

Date: 2025-05-28 11:39 pm (UTC)
eblouissant: made by Nia @ <user name=hiraethe> (2)
From: [personal profile] eblouissant
That was such a ridiculously personal question, he was almost scandalized by it-- almost. Instead he turned a shade of pink that thankfully his wind whipped hair managed to hide quite cunningly though he did think about the question and then he shrugged ever so slightly. "I do not know, I have never had an experience like that before." not the sort of thing that was portrayed in movies and books; no-- it had been awkward and fumbling, and he was sure that it had been him wanting to get in that last bit of something before he had to lock in.

Most of my encounters, as a teenager was slightly awkward and disjointed though I suppose what makes them nostalgic is the fact that they were firsts, I suppose? I certainly would not look back on them and think that they were instances I would ever revisit."

Good really, that meant that he did not have anything to long for.. save for that whispering 'what-if' that danced in the back of his mind like a black-winged butterfly.

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