"Broken Shards"

[zauberdecke]

"In the dark
I need to taste the blood
Go on, draw another line
We can cross this time."
- Blindfold by Sleeping Wolf

---



[ Essek Thelyss: Shadowhand to the Dynasty.

One who reached further then the Luxon would allow, who would do absolutely anything for knowledge. Oh no, the man did not care for power, not really. He wanted to cast himself into the portal of knowing, he wanted to surrender himself to books and learning without having to deal with the mundanities of socio-politics that all of the Kryn engaged in. It was tedious and it filled him with sickness even as he plastered on an urbane smile for all and sundry to see.

Within the Dynasty, it was customary to take pets of the Empire; they were brought in across the border of Asarius, across the mountains and into the Dynasty. There were Dynasty born pets on the other side, both lost to the ravages of the other's civilization, generally never to be seen again.

Essek had never really had an interest to begin with when it came to pets; at the market he carefully avoided the slave blocks where those not of the Dynasty were paraded around. However, it had come to this-- it had come to his trading of the Beacon, and in return he recieved a Volstrucker to serve him. And yet, for all of that, Essek Thelyss had not thought he would receive a broken Volstrucker.

In fair trade, he and recieved a dossier on the man in question and had perused it with only a small semblance of annoyance while Trent Ikithon had assured him that a man like him could be rebuilt, the honeyed words of a silken snake which Essek recognized.

After all did not a predator recognize another predator? So now he held in his household a man whom had to be guarded carefully, though Essek was not cruel despite how he imagined Dynasty pets were treated, the cage that he had placed this Volstrucker named Bren within, well it was comfortable-- he'd seen pictures of Vergossen so he supposed it must be far better than that place. But he had not precisely interacted with him-- most of his unseen servants were given the walking of him, the care and maintenance of him.

Perhaps because he did not precisely know what to do with him, or what use he had for something broken. Though he arguably did not know what manner of broken the Volstrucker was, but after a week-- he decided perhaps it was time to summon him and see for himself; acertain what sort of work was cut out for him.

If this man was worth putting back together again.

So it was one evening, he had the Empire man summoned to his chambers. ]

Comments

[zauberdecke]

[ The next couple of weeks flew by.

Perhaps it was because Essek's mood felt a little bit better; his and Bren's routine established into a routine that only somewhat varied depending on the day. Every day they took a walk, other days they both went into the office and then an equal number Bren stayed in Essek's quarters to read while the other man handled in person meetings discussing Dynasty issues that Pets were not allowed into (with the exception of the Queen's own secretary pet-- but then that was the Queen). And in the evenings, it was a toss up on if there was a social function or not.

On evenings that were unaccounted for, Essek found himself seeking companionship with Bren, both in presence as well as a more physical carnal sort. Sometimes it was a bath, other times it was the bed, and then other times there was that spontaneous spark that went through the two of them in which there was no telling where they would find solace in each other (the library could tell a few stories by this point). It was easy for Bren to forget the impending date until it appeared on his Calendar as a date to dread at the end of the week, he'd forgotten about it.

It was his monthly dinner with Adeen.

He acted as if nothing was amiss the entire day, he went on if nothing was wrong or he did not feel that wrenching gut-twist in his stomach, but by the time that they came back from Essek's office-- he knew that he would have to tell his Pet where he would be this night and he was not looking forward to that at all; he would've much preferred to stay in his quarters and spend time with his Chathtiu. Bren would know something was up when Essek took out clothing for himself, but did not see to Bren's own dressing. As that had been a tradition that had been built up, it was odd. ]

I will be gone for a while this evening. It is the one night a month that I am contracted to spend with Adeen... [ He emphasized the word 'contracted' because this was assuredly not his choice in the matter. ] The Unseen Servants will see to your dinner, which I full expect you to eat at least a portion of. Do you happen to have enough books to occupy your time? [ likely asking this of someone who probably wouldn't be able to focus on food or books all evening with the revealing of Essek's unavoidable plans. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren certainly was not complaining. He'd found the rhythm of this new life in many ways, and as long as that rhythm matched with his Master's, then all seemed right with the world. Whether it was that carnal, physical spark that seemed to ignite between them or quieter times when they'd read or simply be in each other's presence, the conversations and discussions of magical theory that had become rather common between them, he looked forward to all of it.

So when he saw Essek setting out his clothes and noticed the distinct lack of an outfit for him, he was indeed curious.

When the drow explained the reasoning, Bren did not do a good job schooling his features. The distaste on his face was extremely obvious. No, dinner and books would both be neglected tonight in all likelihood, with his mind focused instead on his Master, knowing Essek's general displeasure with Adeen's existence.

So he nodded at the question about books, but much more importantly.]

...I do not want you to go.

[...he was pouting. Shh.]

[zauberdecke]

I do not want to go either; however, it is nothing that I can control.

[ Essek noticed the fact that Bren was pouting just a little bit, his eyes soften even as he started to disrobe from his own everyday clothing to throw on robes, simple black garments that had no real decoration. In fact, they were completely set apart from what Essek normally did wear-- almost as if he was attending a funeral by Empire standards. ]

These are the only garments that I will wear for my monthly 'visits' to him-- that way I do not have to associate any other with his presence.

[ He stated visits like it was poison in his mouth, though he did reach over and lightly press his fingers against that jawline, running tips through bristles. ] You do not have to worry about me, Pet--

[ausgebrannt]

[Very pouting. And it was not likely to stop until Essek was back and Bren could do his best to put Adeen out of his Master's mind. Far. Far away. For now though, he moved without word to take to folding away the clothing that Essek had taken off to make certain that it went where it belonged, was properly taken care of.

He wrinkled his nose at the idea of these monthly visits as well. No, he didn't like that at all. This man that Essek was married to, who seemed so intent on making his Master feel less than he was -- which was something so absurdly out of Adeen's league that he by all rights shouldn't even be within sight of him.

Leaning into that touch, Bren sighed before stepping in closer to Essek, interrupting the dressing in favor of leaning close to nuzzle at the spot at the edge of Essek's jaw, just by his ear.]

I do not have to, but I will, regardless. And I will be waiting when you return.

[zauberdecke]

[ There was something about the press of Bren's lips against his jaw, the breath warm against his ear that had him leaning against that chest. He had temporarily been prevented from dressing by the way that his Pet infiltrated his space. And ah, he was indulgent of Bren and wanted to bask in that warmth as if it was something that could fortify himself within.

Except he knew that he was never in such a good state after such evenings.

He was almost embarrassed of the weakness at which Bren would see him in the hours afterwards. ] Thank you, I will look forward to that-- you may lay out bedclothes for me, for when I return.. and I will need a bath drawn almost immediately.

[ Because he could not prestidigitate the feeling that would be engendered by the entire encounter, only hot water would do. ]

[ausgebrannt]

I will have your bedclothes and your bath ready, Master.

[Bren promised quietly, another nuzzle, another touch of his lips there. He would, of course, not do anything so devious as try to distract Essek and stall his leaving. Of course not.

Probably not.

He would, however, wrap his arms around the other man for what time he was allowed it before he had to release him back to dressing and getting ready to go meet Adeen. Beyond the distaste that he had for his Master's husband since their first meeting, a possessive streak had been growing in Bren. He knew it too, even if rationally he also knew that he had no right or reason or even justification for it. He belonged to Essek, yes, and always would, but the same was not true in reverse. He was a pet -- a pampered and spoiled one, yes, indulged and well-treated, but a slave and plaything nevertheless. He knew better than to hope for anymore than that.

It didn't make his general grumpiness at Adeen any better.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Perhaps one day Bren would be able to send Essek off scenting of him in ways that more carnal than others, but now was not that time-- it was because Essek felt himself coiling with sickness, and he probably would not have been conducive to such before it, before he was set to go to Adeen's. He watched his Pet draw away to allow him to continue his dressing.

He did so, buttoning up the simple robe and then removing all earrings and decorations, nothing that Adeen could get his teeth into, nothing that he could grab. He understood the assignment and that was to make it so that Adeen had little to toy with; he did not want to be anything shiny.

He'd learn his lesson well. ]

Thank you.. [ He was ready, it was his goal to get things over with as quickly as possible. Essek walks over then to Bren and then brushes a soft kiss against the forehead, floating a little bit taller to facilitate that better ]

It will not be so long.

[ausgebrannt]

It will be too long, no matter how short it is.

[Bren informed him quietly, eyes shut for just a moment at that kiss to his forehead. He wished he could save Essek from this particular activity, but it was beyond his abilities. He'd be a restless thing the entire time, no doubt, but that was far better than having to deal with it directly as his Master did.

Still, aside from that lingering frown on his face, Bren would be a good and obedient pet and not make this more difficult for Essek than it already had to be. He would also likely be pacing around the room like a caged creature, but that wasn't important.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek leaned backward at that, his eyes softly searching the plains of that face-- could see the worry about it on his face, the subtle frown that he did not like on those features. It was difficult, perhaps even more so understanding that he had to walk away from this room and the safety that it typified. A smile though it was not a full smile, more like something strained and uncertain.

And then he walked out, closing the door firmly behind him.

Leaving Bren to his devices within the room.

Food was brought up within the hour, all of Bren's conceivable favorites that Essek had noted that Bren had expressed fondness over. Touching little signs that his Master cared about him, the fire was drawn in the grate warmly by unseen hands and there was Essek's chair to curl up in that was still full of Essek's own scent. Books to read and things to occupy him, as Essek had intended that Bren at the very least keep himself occupied and not worrying too much.

One hour passed.

Two hours passed.

A third one trailed on by.

And the fourth hour went by impossibly slow. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren was keenly aware of the passage of time. He always was, but these hours seemed particularly slow, and as one bled into another and another and yet another, the restlessness settled into a cold knot in the pit of his stomach. Far too long for Essek to be with that awful man. Far too long for that undeserving boor of a drow to be in his Master's presence, to be near him, to be touching him.

The food was perfect, of course. It was not lost on Bren that Essek had noted his preferences, tried to see to them. That was enough for him to at least try to force down some of the food -- if only because he was determined to be an extra good and obedient pet tonight. One less thing for Essek to concern himself over.

But mostly the food was pushed around before Bren gave up on it. He did spend an inordinate amount of time curled up in Essek's chair with his Master's favorite robe, trying to focus on the book he had most recently taken up reading.

By now though? He was pacing around the room, fretting, rubbing and fussing with the scars on his forearms in an old nervous habit.]

[zauberdecke]

[ It had not been a good evening for Essek.

There had been dinner, it had started out innoculously enough as all of their meetings did with cool civility on Essek's part and incendiary statements on Adeen's. However it was quickly apparent after the first hour that Adeen was attempting to lure him out with pointed statements-- and then the fighting had began and it had started with a proposal of a threesome between Essek, Adeen and Bren, to which point Essek had taken immediate affront to that and had said something that had been as sharp as ice.

That was when the yelling and name calling had started. Started by Adeen and then retaliated by Essek.

That had filled Essek with a cold and unbridled fury which had no hope of ever heating up to anything more than a freezingly jagged disdain.

After that? It had been a severe bout of fucking that had Essek pressed into the bed with no hope of escape and it had hit a bit harder then because as it was happening, Adeen was telling him about how he knew that Essek had been fucking his pet, to which point Essek was wondering in his helpless state how the fuck Adeen knew anything about what went on in his quarters. And now he would go in and he was going to tear apart his room to find out where the leak was, and then he was going to plug up that whole.

He did not know that it was a guess on Adeen's part just to make him angry.

When Essek returned, it was well past 2 am and he slipped in carefully. He felt bedraggled and used in the most disgusting of ways and was in desperate need of a bath-- his hair was a mess, clearly having been tugged and he was holding his arms tightly around himself as he just stood there looking there lost with his feet on the ground and a blank expression on his face. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Late or not, Bren was wide-awake and on his feet in an instant when that door opened. He'd had the bath ready to go and had a strange one-sided conversation with the unseen servant to make sure that the tub would start being filled the moment Essek showed any sign of return.

Bren meanwhile was headed to the door to meet his Master, though he pulled up short at the sight of him. He had never seen Essek look so small before, and even if he would have thought it impossible to despise Adeen more, here he was with a new and impressively strong surge of loathing.

Shaking himself out of it, he closed the rest of the distance between them.]

Master?

[Softly, reaching out slowly, cautiously in case Essek was totally averse to any touch at the moment, to take the drow's arm gently.]

Are you all right? Are you hurt? [Can Bren plot a way to murder Adeen? Too bad he was.] The bath is filling. Come?

[zauberdecke]

[ His eyes focused for a moment, very briefly. He looked up at Bren who was inching into his space carefully. There was a shudder of something at the touch though he relaxed as it was gentle, it was soothing and he reminded himself that he did not have to endure this for another month. The days would tick down though, they always did. ]

It's only once a month.

[ He repeated this carefully but he allowed himself be drawn toward the bathroom where he could hear the bathtub running.

He wanted to search the room, tear it apart and he dare not speak of this outloud, not yet. He would find a piece of paper and he would write it down-- but later, bath first then he could spend time tearing down wards and then rebuilding them up. ] I.. may have a few bruises, I think..?

[ausgebrannt]

Once ever is once too often.

[Bren half growled the words, but despite the tone in his voice, his touch was gentle, careful, hand settling against Essek's back softly, tenderly. He was here. And he had him.

And he would find a way to see that Adeen would no longer be a problem. Somehow.

To the bathroom where he set his hands gently at the fastenings of his Master's simple black clothing.]

May I?

[He would do nothing to cross a line that Essek was not comfortable with given the state that the other man seemed to be in. Bren longed to make it better, to take care of him, to soothe away the hurt that had been done to him.

The bath had been set up and scented with the oils that he knew were Essek's favorites, towels already set out for when he was finished, a gentle steam rising from the tub as the hot water filled it.]

[zauberdecke]

[ It was hard to remember things as his entire life had narrowed into the four hours; he had been about to say that it was never that long. Usually two hours, but then he nearly melted at the sight of the bath; it wasn't just the sight of it but it was the scent of it too-- the comforting rush of the water. His need to get into those waters had very little bearing on perceived modesty.

The drow nodded, a very brief soundless nod of permission for Bren to remove the robes.

When the robe slipped away, Bren would see places where Adeen had perhaps gripped too hard and left bruises, there were also angry teeth marks on the shoulder. If Bren were to check him in great detail, he would notice that Essek had blood under his fingernails that were decidedly Adeen's, he had absolutely taken a pound of flesh out in retaliation.

As for the other stuff? He had prestidigitated the worst of it away.

But he allowed Bren to care for him, to exhibit that delicate tenderness; there was no inclination in him to push his Pet away and he would allow for Bren in a switch of roles to gently attend to him. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[These particular robes were removed carefully and then tossed into a pile in the corner. No care afforded them, not for what they stood for. He would see that they were properly taken to be washed. Perhaps boiled.

He brushed his fingers feather-light over bruised skin, just beneath a bite mark.]

I despise him.

[In case there was any question lingering about that. But more important right now was the man in front of him, not the bastard who'd treated his Master this way. Bren stepped back, but took up Essek's hands to guide and help ease him into the waiting hot water.]

I will find the salve for the bruises.

[Quieter.]

May I wash you?

[zauberdecke]

[ Hatred was a powerful thing, it was what Essek had survived on for so long. It was not the fiery passionate angry that would typify Bren's entire existence-- no, this one was removed and cold, and it grew colder still with the time that passed. He understood despising Adeen, and those words registered-- a thread by which Essek clung to.

It was hard to speak, to show emotion however.

But it was clear that he was holding on by the narrowest of threads, it was in the way that his normally ramrod straight posture hunched just a little bit. After he was helped into the bath, he curled into himself so that he appeared smaller-- made himself smaller in the waters of the bath, like he was a speck of a drow floundering in a sea of suds.

And then he nodded in acknowledgement to the question, then he found his voice and spoke in as much of a dignified tone as he was able to. ] Siyo-- [ Yes... ]

[ Maybe Bren would teach him his language, he would like to converse in a way that would not be deciphered by Adeen, he would ask-- once he got his bearings about him. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Thank you.

[Soft and murmured gently, and Bren moved to take up the bath poof and the soap, pouring enough to create a lather, the soft scent of jasmine rising in the air. He paused briefly to lean in and press a kiss to Essek's shoulder, soft and sweet.]

Tell me if there is anything you need. I will get it, whatever it is.

[For now though he began washing Essek's back and shoulders, mindful of bite marks, wanting to cause no further pain, and to bring up no further reminder of any of it. He took his time, mindful, attentive and slow. He wanted to wash Adeen away entirely, even if he knew it was not possible.]

[zauberdecke]

[ He sat there in the waters, close to the edge.. to where Bren could get to him with the bath poof. He felt the softest tribute of a kiss, felt the warmth of the other man's words-- how he very carefully stepped in to be protective of him. Essek Thelyss had never had someone advocate for him like, had always had to be self-sufficient and reliant.

He'd born through so much of these months, ten years of them-- and each of them had been stored within him until this moment. For all that he had kept himself stoic, it was a prolonged act of gentleness that caused him to break.

Tears came to his eyes, barely shed as they caught in the white of his lashes. ]

Hair.. he gripped my hair, please.. wash it?

[ His hair was personal and despite his married state-- to have Adeen touch it always felt like the deepest violation. He was crying now but he'd blame it on the steam coming up from the bathtub even though it would be easily seen that was not the case ]

[ausgebrannt]

[And Bren was thorough with the washing, making a full check of Essek's body as he did, a catalogue of the sins that Adeen had committed that Bren would see him atone for. He saw the blood under those perfectly manicured fingers, and spent a moment massaging those hands gently too, to be certain they were clean.

His eyes widened briefly at the request for washing his hair. Essek had told him the sacrosanct nature of hair in Kryn culture, in one of their first meetings when his Master had justified the fact that as his Pet, Bren's hair was meant to be played with by his owner. Still he didn't let on at all any piece of that reaction now.

Nor did he react at the sight of those tears, though they tore at his heart, an ache that yearned to dry those tears and revive that smile that he loved so much on those pretty lips. He murmured a soft.]

Of course.

[Of course he would wash his Master's hair. And now he reached for the nearby pitcher to fill it with water. His other hand settled at the nape of Essek's neck.]

Lean back for me?

[zauberdecke]

[ There was a level of obedience to Essek as he followed the instruction and leaned back, being very docile in how he was accepting of the ministrations, of the water and the patient and gentle washing. The poof moving up and down his body and lathering him, cleaning him-- and then he prepared for the sluice of waters to roll through his locks of white.

It was true that hair was untouchable in the Dynasty; but he was allowing Bren to wash the hair; he was allowing this intimacy which was only reserved for people who were trusted, who were close.

In a way, it was showing Bren that the drow trusted him far more than he trusted anyone, that he could rely on Bren to be delicate with his normally pristine hair.

The thing was that Bren did not want sympathy; he wanted to be cared for but he did not want a fuss to be made over him aside from the nurturing ministrations of his Pet. It was because he still was a creature of pride and there was much that he was allowing in this moment to let the other man see him at such a vulnerable and weak state.

It strengthened that bond further. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren lets his fingers run carefully through that beautiful white hair, to make sure that it was fully saturated. He set down the pitcher and reached instead for the shampoo, fingers finding their way back into his hair once more, this time working up a lather carefully. A gentle massage against that scalp, and he hummed softly. He barely realized he was doing it, an old tune coming to mind, something that his mother would sing to him when he was young and hurt.

Eventually he would urge his Master to lean back once more so that he could work to rinse the lather from his hair, careful to keep form getting soap in his eyes -- those eyes are teary enough.]

There...

[Another quiet murmur, voice low and gentle.]

That's better. And here...

[He found the scented oil meant for keeping hair soft, the one that he was very familiar with being what Essek used by scent alone and began to work that through short strands carefully.]

Your hair is beautiful. Like starlight.

[All of Essek was beautiful. And oh Bren realized, not for the first time, but perhaps for the first time he'd allow himself to admit it even in the silence of his own mind, he loved him, was in love with him. More the fool he, but there was no help for it. Essek Thelyss had his heart, and Bren could imagine no other person it could ever belong to.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek found himself relaxing under Bren's tending, allowing himself to focus on the feeling of fingers moving through his wet strands, soaping them and cleansing them of Adeen's violating touch. The fact that he allowed Bren to touch his locks of hair said everything about the truth of his feelings-- it meant that he considered his Pet safe in a way that was far deeper than what one should traditionally allow of their pets. The tenderness was sweet and he leaned into it much like a cat would, adoring and lapping up the affection as if he was starving for it.

There were no words for the sweetness that came out of Bren's mouth, he opened his eyes after he'd leaned back and all the soap had been washed out of his strands and the oils had been applied. He softened a bit in only a shadow of vulnerability-- once the tears had subsided to only a memory on his cheeks. ]

He wanted to propose an.. interaction between the three of us, I responded that would only be the case if I wanted my Pet diseased. That made him a bit angry. [ Essek's voice was like ice dulled, though no less deadly, even as he regarded the waters that wrapped around him ]

I feel dirty, I always do-- perhaps dirtier now that I.. that we.. that I know how-- [ Now that he understands that sex can be something that is enjoyed, that it is not what he had always believed it to be. It could be a form of control but it could also be a form of freedom.

He did not want Adeen to ruin that little happiness that he'd managed to find for himself within Bren's company; he did not want it tainted by whatever had happened this night-- and yet he still weakly leaned forward so that he could rest his forehead against Bren's shoulder, and he dripped against the other man. ] I have to endure it.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would happily lavish affection on Essek, so long as he were allowed to. He understood the level of trust that was being shown here, the quiet intimacy that he was being granted here, and he would not take it for granted. He could not resist leaning closer to press a kiss to Essek's cheek, the faint lingering taste of salt and tears catching on his lips.

A faint flicker of surprise in his expression as he heard that. Adeen suggested a threesome? He frowned, even if he huffed a brief amused breath at hearing Essek's retort. But yes, he could imagine that would not have sat well with Adeen from what he knew of the man's ego.

But more importantly was what Essek said after that, the words that continued to tear at his heart, to stoke that burning anger he felt for his Master's spouse. His arms slid around Essek to hold him as the other man leaned into him, not caring about drips or water.]

You should not have to.

[Bren murmured, low and fervent. Essek should not have to go through this, should not have to survive this every month. Or ever.]

You are back now. Away from him. And I have you.

[zauberdecke]

There was much written into the contract that I had no say in; and it was with a fight that I managed to escape all evenings but once a month; it was with the codicle that we share a residence.

[ He was sure that his mother thought that it would encapsulate the ability to work together and at least a familiarity; but that has up to this point only bred a certain sort of contempt. He slipped his arms around as much of that torso as he was able, with his arms damp. ]

You have me.. [ He repeated this as best as he was able, what it meant. He did not feel very much like a Master right now, he did not feel very much in control of anything. Varying feelings of such was normal, but it never had felt so despondent and wrong then it did now. Never until he had tasted what true companionship felt like.

His voice came out in a whisper. ]

He said that he knew that we were ah.. [ He alluded this delicately. ] Will you help me comb over my side of the residence with detect magic? [ He needed to spot anything that could be used to survey him; he needed to eradicate anything that stood to violate his privacy. ] I cannot have him spying on him, or us-- I do not want him sullying the one thing that brings me happiness.