Saintsmourn

[giveanything]

"Bless me father, for I have sinned," the words tumbled past his lips, ingrained in the well worn pathways of his memory from the years he'd spent in catechism and as an altar boy. Not that Liam was devout anymore -- how could he be, given what he'd become, given what he did and continued to do. The confessional booth was small and dark, light filtering in only dimly through the door and its screen that kept him hidden from the sanctuary beyond and from the priest he assumed would be on the other side.

"It has been... a very long time since my last confession."

What was he doing here? This was ridiculous. He couldn't possibly expect forgiveness and absolution. There had to be true repentance for that, real contrition, and Liam knew he couldn't manage either. He hated what he did, despised every moment of it, but he wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop. The price for disobeying was far too severe, and he would not be the one to pay it. The price for his disobedience and his failure would be paid by his brother, and he couldn't live with that.

So William had made his choice, made it again and again, putting that one life ahead of so many others. And oh he was good at what he did, talented at ruining people, in shattering whatever it was in a human being that kept their souls in place, until they were ready to throw it away. His watcher commended him for it, in a sick and sadistic sort of amusement.

Today's lost soul had been... fuck. It had been hard. She was young, barely nineteen, and her road had already been a hard one. He'd played the game with her for the past few weeks, insinuating darkness and doubt into the cracks of that already-battered soul. Today. Today she'd shattered, and there would be no recovering from it. Another soul for the demon who owned him.

He could feel the panic rising up in his chest, cold and hard and threatening to freeze his lungs so he couldn't draw in enough breath. In the dimness and silence of the confessional, all the carefully constructed walls and facades trembled and fell away. Gone were the easy smiles and quite literal devil-may-care attitude, all the charisma and charm that he relied on in his cursed excuse for a job. It was him and his breathing and the silence and the faceless priest in the chamber beside him. Liam wondered if he could hear the panic in his breathing.

"I... sorry. This was a mistake. I should go. I'm sorry, Father, for wasting your time."

Comments

[giveanything]

You're in New England now. Layering is always the answer.

There's this scenic spot right on top of the ocean cliffs, benches and everything. But it does get a little breezy.

[eblouissant]

Thank you for the tip, I keep forgetting that I am not in Virginia anymore. Now tell me, do you have an aversion to any of the following? Turkey, tomatoes, lettuce, pickles or olives? And also chocolate chip cookies? Yes or no?

[giveanything]

It is unfair to say those things when you're a priest and I can't propose to you on the spot.

But nope. Only thing I won't eat celery. Too stringy it freaks me out.

[eblouissant]

[ If only Liam could see the way that Riley has turned as red as a beet-- thank goodness that the only thing that knows currently is Google ]

I did not bake them unfortunately, I got them from the cafeteria so perhaps the proposal is a bit mis-judged.

[ And he did not know why he said this... ]

I can bake though, I do not have a big enough kitchen sadly. Those dorm rooms, even for the Dorm Managers.. have always been small and cramped.

[giveanything]

[Liam can only hope. It would be payback from multiple times Riley had made him blush just by existing in his presence at the cafe.]

They're still chocolate chip cookies.

[Proposal still on. Won't be rethought.

Liam looks at his phone, the briefest hesitation where almost thinks about his next message before he sends it. But nah, nope. Just brain to fingers, no passing through any sort of filter except maybe his dick?]

That a fact? Well. You're welcome to put something in my oven any time.

[eblouissant]

I appreciate the very kind offer to use your oven, I will think about it if I happen to wake up one day and feel the inexplicable desire to bake cookies.

[ That went quite over his head Liam, we will blame it on the fact that he is not well versed in innuendo... having very little access to materials that would make him get it. Though perhaps the look in his eyes or a saucy emoji would've helped in some way, shape or form. ]

[giveanything]

[The next text message comes after a longer interval than the previous ones. This is the part where Liam is banging his head (gently) against the nearest wall and questioning his game.]

Consider it an open invitation, Father. I'm not much for baking, but I'm a halfway decent cook. You should let me make you breakfast sometime.

[After spending the night. Just saying.

Liam says "if at first you don't succeed..."]

[eblouissant]

[ Now that hit the intended mark, but he did not respond because he knew well what that meant ]

Alright, sandwiches have been made, I am packing up and I will see you in a few minutes, yeah?

[ Perhaps if he avoided that had been said, or pretend that he did not get it-- he could reasonably still hang-out with Liam without overwhelming guilt over lust for some man? ]

[giveanything]

[Liam looks at his phone with a sigh. He saw that sidestep there, Riley. He saw it entirely. He'd let it slide for now.]

Already here, Father. Sitting on the steps. Loitering and looking for trouble. Better be quick before I find it.

[eblouissant]

That was a threat, wasn't it?

Well Riley knew it was as he glanced down at his phone. His steps quick and measured as he made his way across the campus and toward the cathedral which rose high above, marking it as a majestic landmark in the town. The sun was out and with only a few clouds here and there, and the mist and fog had decided to go away and come back another day. All good-- it meant that there'd at the very least be no chance of getting lost.

Though he always kept a compass with him for such moments as those.

Surprisingly enough, the Priest also had good situational awareness-- he kept himself alert constantly.

He saw Liam, a lone figure there on the steps and thus he quickened his pace. "I tried to get here as quickly as possible, as I have a feeling you could get into quite a bit of trouble in a short amount of time." in Riley's hand, the handle of a wooden picnic basket.

[giveanything]

Threat, promise, sad and accurate truth. It was many things. But the trouble that Liam had currently found was a small scraggly looking tabby cat. Liam was settled on the church steps, sitting, and said feline was in his lap currently headbutting and nuzzling under his chin, purring up a storm while Liam scratched at one of his fluffy little cheeks. His free hand had his cellphone lifted to get a selfie with his new friend.

Liam Leary, soul collector and demon-pet had a deep and obvious soft spot for animals and children. He snapped the selfie right as he heard Riley's voice. Lowering his phone, he looked up with a pleased grin. "You have no idea, Father. I find trouble like I've got radar. And if I can't find it, I've been known to make it."

One last little scritch at the cat's fluffy cheek and he eased it off his lap with a quiet there's a good boy so he could stand. His gaze dropped to the picnic basket, his expression softening. In a kinder world, this would be a charming, romantic little date.

But the world was not kind. It was cold and complicated. So fucking complicated. "Thanks, by the way, for agreeing to do some exploring. I was at a loss for what to do with myself today."

[eblouissant]

Riley saw the way that Liam acted so gentle with the cat, and he came to the conclusion that whatever Liam's sins, he was kind to those who were far more vulnerable than him-- and that moved Riley in such an indescribable way. He approached with a tilt to his head and then chuckles just a little bit. "Who is your little friend?"

Riley then leaned down to give the cat scritches as well. He also enjoyed the company of animals though he was absolutely a dog person and wanted one; but then he'd always wanted a little cottage and a large sheepdog, and a garden. Little dreams that had taken flight despite themselves.

"And as for the exploring, is the antique business a bit slow today?"

[giveanything]

Liam smiled at the way the priest greeted the cat. See? A good sign. Liam was a cat person. And a dog person. And birds. Rabbits. Reptiles. Just a sucker for animals in general, but he had accepted that about himself. Animals were safe company; after all, his keeper had no interest in the souls of cats and dogs.

"This is Maurice. He a sweetheart, unless you're a mouse or a chipmunk." One of these days, Liam would tempt that little tabby home with him to see him better fed and taken care of. "Maurice, meet Father Riley. I bet you could sucker some chicken out of him with a little effort."

He got that sense. "The antique business is never not slow. That's part of the draw. But I've got a project I'm in the middle of restoring and the stain needs to set, so I find myself with time on my hands and charming company to spend it with."

[eblouissant]

A very good scritch underneath the chin where the tuft of fur felt like soft anxiety-drowning bliss-- the cat slow blinked and purred.

"Well Mr. Maurice, it appears you have a good thing with this human and perhaps you both can keep each other out of trouble, hmmm?" How he talked to the cat as if he was a small person with a soul-- and the brightness of his own soul shone brighter than he gave himself credit for.

He then started to rummage around for some smoked salmon that he had packed on whim, it was like he knew-- he offered it to the creature with much ceremony. "If I was allowed cats in the dorms but I am not." Not like that stopped some students, but he was turning a blind eye to that.

[giveanything]

"...my brother definitely has a cat in the dorms. Or, well, his roommate-slash-huge-obvious-crush has a cat in the dorms, which, same difference." So yeah, Riley. Liam had to figure that Riley must know that and had chosen to look the other way, which was just another point in the priest's favor.

Maurice clearly loved him already, once the salmon was brought out that sealed the deal entirely. Liam watched the two with a softening smile. For the briefest moment he could almost forget about the darkness, could remember a different time in his life.

"Looks like strays take to you, Father. I suppose that's a skill that comes in handy for the trade?"

[eblouissant]

Oh, was that how the wind blew in that general situation? He knew that Patrick and Nicholas were never seen outside of each other's company-- where one guy was, the other was without variance either with, at class or in transit to their partner-in-crime. Perhaps he did not notice because he attempted to block those things out of his mind when it came to two men since it rather hit a little bit too close to home.

But with the intent flirting that Liam was doing, he wondered if he knew-- or was this a core part of his personality.. flirt?

"It does, right now I am attempting to encourage you to to make an honest man out of him." he said with a pointed glance upward and into those smoldering eyes that did such riotous things to the butterflies in his stomach-- normally so cocooned and yet now they chaosed around. "Though sometimes it does take multiple tries and convincing."

[giveanything]

That was how the wind blew, in hurricane force. If Liam had a better relationship with Patrick, he'd have meddled and played matchmaker long before now. But they were what they were, and he knew that Trick didn't trust him as far as he could throw him anymore, and it wasn't like Liam could blame him for that. He was a monster, and he could abide being the monster for Trick's sake. All for his brother's sake, which was what he could never let Patrick find out.

For now he let those thoughts slip away before he sank into the usual sad, lonely state of mind that particular path usually led him down. He was with Riley, after all, and wanted to make the most of it.

And keep up the flirting. It was his personality, yes, but it was very directed at the priest in a way it seldom was. There was usually nothing substantial or serious behind it, but not here. He wanted the other man in a way that was new for him. Something in that gentle voice and kind words.

His grin went lopsided. "Oh Father, I'm nothing if not honest. Just a bastion of truth at all times."

[eblouissant]

"Hmmmm.."

Riley gave Liam that look like he did not believe that whatsoever, even as he rose up and then picked the basket up once again. "A bastion of truth, well I think that you could do with a bit of honest-man making yourself, Liam." a quirk of his lips, and perhaps the briefest sparkle of those sea eyes that was as chameleon as the sea in its many shapes and forms.

"In that case, I think that Maurice has his own work cut out for him as well. Perhaps you do need each other in equal measure, that usually makes the best friendships."

Making each other better.

"Shall we head off then? I am trusting you to lead on."

[giveanything]

"Maurice would be an excellent influence on me. What do you say, kitty cat? Want to come home with me? Why don't you go pack your little feline suitcase, and I'll pick you up here when I drop the good priest. ...unless we can convince him to come home with us too." He looked from cat to man and winked at him.

"We shall. Right this way, Father."

That said, Liam waited for Riley to fall in beside him before heading off. The seaside was in walking distance, though it would take them a little while to get to the particular spot he had in mind for their picnic. "You're not afraid of heights, right?"

[eblouissant]

"Well if Maurice plays his cards right, I could come over for a visit here and there.. and bring salmon."

The way that Riley tugged at his lower lip with his teeth would be daunting for even the most straight and narrow person, but this was Liam and he was perhaps sorely underestimating the level of temptation that was likely going to grow stronger with each moment they were together.

"I grew up in Virginia, within Appalachia-- I think that you don't have to worry about myself having an excessive fear of heights." Riley said with a chuckle, though he did not dare wink, there was something about him that wanted to be playful but feared unleashing something that neither of them could control or reign back in.

"However, I did forget my walking stick but I'm not too shabby at the balance game." he may have to hold onto Liam's jacket however.

[giveanything]

"You hear that, Maurice? Best behavior."

No yeah, Riley was testing all of Liam's (not very impressive) self-control with the biting at his lower lip and the looking like, well, what he looked like. The priest was unfairly attractive, in each and every sense of the word.

Another chuckle. "That a fact? Well, I'm here to lean on if you need it. I won't let you fall."

[eblouissant]

Would Liam though?

It was not that Riley thought that being gay was a sin, not at all. He absolutely believed that everyone should have the right to love who they wished, he also did not think that it was a punishable offense, but he had made promises to the church regarding himself, but those promises came at the cost of those beautiful warm brown eyes that gazed at him in such a way that caused unspeakable heat to roll through him.

He had a feeling that anyone could fall looking into those deep eyes.

Especially that underneath the sparkle there was such sadness there. It made him want to fight that temptation to get to know the other guy, perhaps to see if he could do something to wipe away that melancholy. He did not know the other man's story but he thought perhaps it was many-paged.

"I believe that you will not let me fall.. physically." he said this with raise of his brow and then he was walking, in a way forcing the other man to trail after him.. to catch up, perhaps to wonder at such a statement.

[giveanything]

For all the many things that Liam knew would tear a soul apart -- would stain it so there was no hope of salvage or salvation -- love in any of its forms was not one of them. So for all that yes, he was certainly trying to tempt this priest away from the vows of chastity that he'd made with his ordination, he didn't believe he'd actually be putting Riley's soul at any real risk. He wouldn't have wanted to do that, not to this man with his gentle nature and kind eyes.

Not that he wanted to do any of the harm he did. He was good at it, make no mistake, could read people and find the smallest cracks for darkness to slip into, could finesse doubt and pain into something sharp and lethal. But he hated it, hated himself for it, more and more with each successfully ruined person he left in his wake.

There was a moment when Riley spoke those words that Liam was caught off-guard by how true those words struck. Riley saw to the core of him already. For the briefest flash there was a falter of the facade of ease and charm. A sadness in dark eyes and the distinct sense that he'd just been dealt a physical blow.

The moment passed and the smile was back in place like it had never left. "Why Father, I think you're too sure-footed spiritually to worry about taking that sort of tumble."

[eblouissant]

They walked, heading on a route toward the cliffs.

He'd not been this particular way so it was very much off the beaten track, as Liam had promised him. But make no mistake, he'd seen that very sure flash of sadness and pain rolled into one and thought to himself that this was a man who perhaps did not do the things that he had confessed to 'willingly'. This made him all the more resolute to help, which perhaps would not do any favors in the long run.

"I think that.." and he says this carefully as he grips the basket, "we all have our secrets. You have yours and I have mine, and being sure-footed does not mean that temptation does not exist-- it just means that you have to be very careful where you step." and soft laugh then, it was like honey as it whipped through his hair alongside the breeze that was just starting to carry hints of ocean brine.

"But somehow, I know that you would not do anything untoward though your mouth certainly talks a good game."

[giveanything]

"Temptation exists, and it doesn't always show up looking like temptation. What will draw one soul to its own destruction would not even catch the passing attention of another..." Liam's voice had gone thoughtful, though there was a weariness to it. He was, after all, an expert in sin and in darkness. His owner said he had a talent for it, a very human talent that demons couldn't quite manage with the same degree of nuance and subtlety.

He looked up at the sound of that laugh, gentle as a summer breeze. "But you're right. Nothing untoward. Not here, not now. Not to you." It was a promise in its own way. He did not want to do anything to dim that gentle light that glowed from Riley. They were closer now to where Liam intended their destination to be, the sound of ocean waves crashing against the increasingly rocky shoreline as the cliffs rose, growing higher as they walked.

The words he spoke next, he didn't realize he'd committed to saying them until he heard them in his own voice. "Do you want to know my secret, Father?"